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As of February 23, 2012, I have a very sweet, very cute little boy. Baby PGS is my world now.

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Wednesday, April 30, 2008

I got my mind set on you but it's gonna take money a whole lotta spending money it's gonne take plenty of money to do it right child

¸.•´¸.•´¨) ¸.•*¨)
(¸.•´ (¸.•´ .•´ ¸¸.•¨¯`•.♥

Last night on my way home from the boy's house, I heard "Got My Mind Set on You" by George it's kinda stuck in my head. When I was toddler my mom said that I would go around singing that...but mostly just the part about needing money. Seriously, though...I hate The Beatles, but individually three out of the four aren't so bad.

Anyway, every time I would sit up to put my shoes on last night so that I could go home, the boy would tell me to "come here." And I would stupidly listen to it was taking forever for me to get ready to go home.

The Maximum Ride series by James Patterson has a blog, and it amused me this morning because one of the posts from yesterday afternoon was about Gossip Girl. I'm sad though because neither of those series (Maximum Ride nor Gossip Girl) have new books out right I don't really have anything to read. ::sigh:: What to do, what to do? I guess that I could catch up on the It Girl series...since it's a spin-off of Gossip Girl...

Be amused by this randomness from Overheard in New York...

But You Were So Supportive About the Red Dress!
Twelve-year-old boy: How do you know they don't have kid's sizes?
Mom: I just know they don't.
Kid: But how do you know?!
Mom, impatient: I know!
-- Christopher St., in front of Gay Leather Fetish Shop

Is This a Great Town, or What?
Young boy: I don't care what anyone says, I am wearing a red dress on Monday.
Mom: Oh? Well, how are you going to get it?
Young boy: I don't know, but that's where you come in.
Mom: I don't have a red dress.
Young boy: Oh, I thought you did.
Mom: I have a t-shirt with a belt around it. You can wear that.
-- Near Columbia University

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

so don't blow it no not a little bit cause now you're all mine don't you forget it don't blow it even a little bit cause now you're all mine

Yay yay yay!! The semester is officially over for me!! Too bad I got icky grades this semester... I don't know what I got yet...because I don't think that my grades are posted yet. But I haven't looked yet either...according to the school site, the grades will be available by noon on Thursday. I don't want to wait. Grr!! My Spanish grade is really the only grade that I don't know for sure. Hooray for two consecutive semesters of a 4.0 g.p.a., followed by a semester with a 2.6 g.p.a.! I've never in my life had a g.p.a. that low...not even when I failed a class. I've always had at least a 3.something. Ugh...

Today is the Make-a-Wish day at Noodles & Co. in Downtown Royal Oak...too bad I probably won't be able to go. But 25% of sales go to support the Detroit Walk for Wishes (the MI chapter of Make-a-Wish page for walk) awesome is that? Besides...Noodles also sent me an email because it's my Noodlegram I get free food (it's just a way to get me to come in and spend some money, duh).

***Spoiler Alert***

Marcos in Chino, Calif.: I'm ashamed to admit I can't stop watching Gossip Girl. Any scoop on Blair and Chuck?
Do not despair! The show's charms are bigger than all of us. Blair and Chuck continue to dance around each other, and things get complicated in the season finale...But not as complicated as things get for Lily! Let's just say she isn't done with Rufus, but she will also be walking down the aisle to Bart.

Fabrizio in New Orleans: More Gossip Girl! I love that show.
Serena goes on a downward spiral and Nate, Chuck and Blair team up to help her.

Nancy Jo in Owatonna, Minn.: Oooh! Juicy scoop about Eric van der Woodsen hooking up with Jenny's new boyfriend. Thanks for that, Kristin! How will Jenny take it?
Not well. And it will knock her out of the Queen B circle for the time being.

Spoilers courtesy of E! online's Watch with Kristin.

Monday, April 28, 2008

you know exactly what to do so that I can’t stay mad at you for too long that’s wrong but I hate it

Ugh...I got a C in my stats class. Oh, least, I passed. Hopefully, I won't have to take it over again...but I don't know. less than 12 hours, the semester will be over!! I'm super happy about that!!

I'm sad about ABC being dumb and rearranging their tv schedule. They moved Women's Murder Club to Tuesdays at 10:00p...and now it conflicts with Law & Order: SVU. What do I do? Maybe I can get the boy to use his DVR to record SVU since he doesn't seem to mind watching that least he's never complained. And I've seen him put it on on his own.

Time for some random links that have caused me either amusement, interest or some other emotion...either way, click on them and learn something, duh.
.:. living with a CrackBerry, I mean BlackBerry addict...
.:. So...Clint Eastwood might be thinking about making a movie here in MI...he does realize that our economy sucks big time, right?
.:. Umm...eww, that's all I have to say...
.:. What a horrendous father...
.:. lol!!, crazy old man drives onto the Miami airport runway...wait, that's not funny...
.:. mom tattoos kids for safety reasons...
.:. dealing with oddball friends...personally, I like Method #1...

From a Funny, But No post on the ShoeboxBlog...
Heal up good, now!

I don’t want no gimpy friends.
------------------------------------------------ makes me think of the boy. Aww, poor boy...

Some random amusement from Overheard in New York...

There's No Magic Like the Sorcery of Proper Accessorizing
Little boy, shouting and grabbing magic wand from his sister: No! I wanna be Hermione! It's my turn to be Hermione!
Little girl: Be Harry! His magic's better!
Little boy: But Hermione's clothes are so much cooler!
-- Barnes and Noble, E 86th St

Tomorrow --Wood-Chippers and Car Trunks!
Studen: So how can we use this information to our advantage?
Professor: Well, if you were ever going to kill someone you would want to bury them in wet ground.
Student: Like a swamp?
Professor, with evil grin: A swamp would be ideal.
-- Electromagnetics Lecture, Columbia University

Someday She'll Just Erupt Like Mount Crackhotoa
Girl: He says that she is his soulmate. Is he f***ing kidding me?
Guy: She is a semen-gurgling road whore.
-- Subway Inn, 60th St, UES

I Miss This
Chick: Since we broke up you've been smoking a lot.
Guy: Yeah...
Chick: You shouldn't smoke.
Guy: You shouldn't suck so much d*** but you don't hear me criticize you five times a day.
Chick: [Mouth wide open in shock.]
Guy: To start you should try closing your mouth!
--B Train

But at Least You've Stopped with the Slapping
Mother to child: Shut up!
Child: Don't you dare use that language with me! You're so disrespectful!
-- 85th & 3rd

Saturday, April 26, 2008

this was my mistake broken are plans we made so I will be traveling any place cuz anywhere's better than here

I'm hungry!!! Too bad the boy was giving off the impression that he didn't want me around, otherwise I would have eaten already. Because his mom invited me to go out to eat with them since it's her birthday...and I wasn't feeling like the other four people that would be eating dinner would rather be anywhere but where I was. But that's definitely how I was feeling around the boy. Even on the phone that's how I felt...probably because even though he called me, it sounded as though he was having a conversation with someone else. Most of the call sounded as though he was talking somewhere other than his phone. The playing video games isn't what bothered's that it appeared as though he expected me to be thrilled to see him when I came over and he said nothing to me (or barely acknowledged me, I don't remember exactly) and expected me to amuse myself; oh, and he was still wearing the same clothes he had on yesterday. I don't know...he just made me feel like the only reason he asked me to come over was because he can't drive himself around and needed to go out to get a present for his mom's birthday.


I'm half expecting a phone call from him sometime later this evening because the midnight release of Mario Kart is tonight...but who knows if he's still expecting me to take him?

Jesus f***ing Christ, are we ever going to leave for f***ing food?!?

Friday, April 25, 2008

this is it I’m falling my wings need to grow I lose my hold I will let go

Look!, pretty girls... that you're probably no longer paying attention to me... I think on Sunday I'm going to be making my hair blonde...but I'm not 100% sure yet. I might wait until next weekend.

Before I pick up the girls, I have to go up to school to go to the book buyback...because I so don't want to keep my Spanish novels if I don't have to.'s pretty warm outside...I hate spring. Well...actually I like spring. I just hate as it gets warmer and warmer, I'm going to complain more and more about the weather here. head hurts and I'm hungry...and I have some stuff to get done before I can ciao!!

Thursday, April 24, 2008

why do you build me up buttercup baby just to let me down and mess me around and then worst of all you never call baby

I'm super tired. It's a zombie day. First, I woke up cuz I always do around 8:00ish if it's a relatively sunny day...then I heard my mommy talking about the computer acting weird (apparently my stepdad's password won't work, my mom and I just think he somehow typed it incorrectly and it was being really s-l-o-w). Then the girls' mom called me (at like 8:30a, mind you my alarm doesn't even go off until 9:15a) to ask if I'd be able to watch them this afternoon (normally this is my day off from picking them up)...then I was like half asleep again and their dad called me (at like 9:00a...he told me to go back to sleep after we finished talking, I was amused) to find out if I was able to pick them up. Apparently the two hadn't talked to one another again yet...and they're divorced, so it's not like they're the best at communicating either.

Oh, yeah...and I couldn't fall asleep last I think I had all of four hours of sleep last night. Woo...hoo... I'm too tired to drum up the enthusiasm needed for that interjection.

But on the plus side...more money. Of course, it means more driving around because I have to take the younger one to dance...and then take them both to their dad's house afterwards. I have no idea how long I'm supposed to watch them for...talking on the phone while half asleep is not a good thing. Besides, I have class's my I have to be on time.

Today is "Take Your Child to Work Day," so the 12 y/o brother is at work with our mom today...I have to go pick him up around 1:30p. It'll be a long day for him otherwise...eight hours is a bit much for a 12 y/o kid. Aren't there child labor laws against that? (Oh, boy...I almost published this post with the word "their" as opposed to "there" in the preceding sentence...)

I need to get in the shower soon. I have to call my doctors' office because I don't have any refills on my allergy medicine...and if you think I'm miserable in winter when I have no allergy medicine, just imagine how I am in spring when I have none and my allergies are making me miserable while I have allergy medicine. Oh, yeah...and I still have to read the book that my Spanish final is on tonight...haha. Way to go,'s so not last minute or anything.

Oh, the end of today I'm going to be one loopy mess...who wants to deal with me?

Oh, yeah...sidenote: the thingy is back up...just in case you care...

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

it's getting late I'm making my way over to my favorite place I gotta get my body moving shake the stress away

Hooray for a random day!! Nothing too important here today...just some randomness that amuses me...

Who wants to buy me any of the following:
.:. Christine satin dress (from Forever 21)
.:. Elizabeth dress, either black or red (from delia's)
.:. satin chiffon skirt (from Forever 21)
.:. 101 Dalmatians tee (from delia's)
.:. D-cup heart banded halter, black (from delia's)
.:. heart side tie hipster, black (from delia's)
.:. tie-back platform, black (from Frederick's of Hollywood)
Thank you very much!!

Now it's time for the wedding edition of news that amused me:
.:. three platinum and diamond rings accidentally thrown in trash found at DisneyWorld
.:. bride and groom spend first night after wedding in jail

Yay for postal worker catching falling toddler!!

HAHAHA!!!!! A wave of panic over penis theft has hit. Seriously, small-scale religion is so messed up...learning about that stuff in Myth, Magic and Folk Religion was a bit interesting.

***Spoiler Alert***

E! online's Watch with Kristin says which Gossip Girl character is gay and how it's to be not click on the link if you don't want to know. Don't say that I didn't warn you... And then there is some not so spoiler-y news as well.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

and after all the obstacles it's good to see you now with someone else and it's such a miracle that you and me are still good friends

[insert frustrated scream here]

Okay, seriously now, I'm about ready to give up. I'm sick of having to prove that I do not hate people. It feels like every other day the boy is asking me if I hate him or something along those line...and then this morning he told me that we now have a big problem that only I can solve: his mother thinks that I hate her and his father. I said that I'd try to fix it since it's not true. And when I asked if the boy had a suggestion as to how I might be able to solve this problem (seeing how they're his parents, he might know something I can do), he seemingly brushed it off by giving me a one-word answer: no.


Maybe I just won't get married. Because...none of my other relationships seem to be requiring me to prove weekly that I don't hate someone. Besides...last night, he made it known to me that I stress him out to the point that he doesn't sleep least not well. So...if we just end this f***ed up relationship before it gets any worse (because even though I really don't see how it could, I'm sure it's possible), then it solves both problems. Right? He'll be able to sleep stress-free because he doesn't have to deal with me anymore...and his mom won't have to worry that I "hate" her [and her husband].

But I just get the impression that no matter what I try to do to remedy the situation, she's going to continue to believe that I don't like her. Especially since I have no idea how long she's been feeling/thinking this...and I've been dating her son for almost two and a half years now. So...basically, I'm screwed. See why I've all but given up?

I'm not usually a quitter...but it's no use to try and compete with some guy's mom, that's just ridiculous. Especially when there's a healthy relationship in place, family is important. Oh, was fun while it lasted...

Does running away from my problems count as solving them?


take away this ball and chain well I'm sick and I'm tired and I can't take any more pain take away take away never to return again

Buh-bye, hair!! Now my hair is just above my shoulders. I like it. Now I just have to get some hair dye to fix the color...because I'm sick of this color. Staying one color for too long bores me.

And now for your amusement, some things from Overheard in New York...

God, You're the Wimpiest Kidnapper Ever!
Five-year-old boy: I want a spoon of peanut butter for breakfast!
Dad: Are you allowed to eat that for breakfast? I'm not sure, let's call your mom.
Five-year-old boy: You're an adult, you can make those decisions.
-- Bleecker St

Mom and Mom Set the Bar Pretty High
Nanny: You have to try not to bump into people and they will do the same.
Little girl, swerving: How?
Nanny: You need to try to walk in a straight line.
Little girl, shocked: But I don't want to be straight!
-- Washington Square Park

D***, It Felt Good to Get That Off My Chest
Big black man: It's ok, I'm not a gangsta!
Nerdy white kid: Neither am I!
-- Times Square

She Once Mistook Me for a Toaster
Mother: Oh, guess what, honey? Debbie's having a baby!
Six-year-old daughter: She's going to be a horrible mother.
-- The Met

Monday, April 21, 2008

you know I make you wanna scream you know I make you wanna run from me baby but know it's too late you've wasted all your time

Who would like to go out and run my errands for me? I only need to get the following things done:
.:. get gas...
.:. buy tampons...yeah, totally something to share on the internet...
.:. figure out what I'm doing for school in the fall...
.:. get my hair cut...but I'm about 99% sure that's an errand for tomorrow...
.:. ...and whatever else I add!!

C'mon...y'know you wanna go run my errands for me... Okay, I'm done procrastinating. I gotta get my stuff done.

Sunday, April 20, 2008

Saturday, April 19, 2008

don’t ever wanna have to go and give you up stay up 'til 4 in the morning and the tears are pouring and I wanna make it worth the fight

::sigh:: I absolutely hate him. Because after three conversations with him today where it felt as though I was being yelled at...after the end of the third conversation, I felt like I was the being blamed as the "bad guy" for the fight. And y'know what else...he's able to do that pretty much every time we fight, too. But I decided that after crying for about 10 minutes that it wasn't worth any of my tears. Too bad for the ones that had already been shed.

I don't even think that he wants to listen to what I have to say; I just get the impression that he only cares about what opinions that he's formed and to hell with what's the truth. I don't even think that he cares about anything anymore... just doesn't feel like he does... It just seems like he's already decided this relationship has run its course and he's just being a coward who's hanging on for the ride... ::sigh::

The worst part is that even though I hate him...I don't love him any less either...

sometimes...I wish that I could press fast forward to see if it's all worth it...

Friday, April 18, 2008

call your name every day when I feel so helpless I'm fallin' down but I'll rise above this rise above this

I'm bored and just kinda wasting some this may be a bunch of rambling nonsense... Sorry in advance for anyone who reads this and finds it a waste of made a actually, I'm not sorry .

And today's Cosmo horoscope says:
Libra - Single? Curious Venus might inspire a guy's snoopy side. Don't confess anything. Distract him instead with your flirty charm. Attached? A spontaneous romp (in the car, on a picnic) satisfies your thrill-seeking urge under rowdy Jupiter.
Yeah...just a tad unrealistic, don't ya think?

So...I really don't expect this to happen in my life, but when I read the first letter from the Dear Margo posted at 2:00a ET this made me think, 'oh please, oh please, don't let that be something to happen in my life!!' (Remember I have this slight obsession with advice columns?) True, it was a bit of a paranoid and unrealistic thought...but, umm...yeah... I'm done with those rambling thoughts.

Totally how my family life in less than 1000 square feet...

Hahahahahaha!!!! much did this kid have to drink before coming up with this stupid stunt?

A Shot at Love 2
starts on Tuesday!!

Some amusement from Overheard in New York...

Now That's Comedy
Tourist to comedy show hawker: Knock-knock.
Comedy show hawker: Um...who's there?
Tourist: I hate comedy. [He walks away.]
-- Times Square

...And Sell It on eBay!
Mother to six-year-old girl: Tomorrow we're going to the doctor's office, then to the dentist...
Six-year-old, whispering: Mommy, I don't want to go. [louder] They take my my blood. My blood!
-- 6 Train

How Susie Learned to Speak in Vague Hypotheticals
Seven-year-old girl: Daddy! You wanna hear a secret?!
Dad: Sure, but remember honey: I'm a social worker so if this is a secret about you hurting yourself or others I have to report it.
Seven-year-old girl: ... Never mind.
-- LaGuardia Airport

Thursday, April 17, 2008

just open your eyes just open your eyes and see that life is beautiful will you swear on your life what no one will cry at my funeral?

So...I want to go to a concert on July 15...but is it bad that I want to leave before the headlining band? It's not like I would pay for the most expensive tickets...seriously, almost $100 per ticket is ridiculous...especially when I don't want to see the headliners.

Anyway...I have to get dressed...but I have no idea what to wear!! Ahhh!! I only know what to wear on my bottom-half. So I put my pajama shirt back on to come out here to the living room...::sigh::...I don't know what to wear...such a conundrum. At least I have fun music to listen to...that's a plus, right? And it's beautiful outside...minus the tree removal equipment and noise anyway. Yay for 70 degree weather!!

no me des falsas esperanzas no me engañes no oh oh no me digas cuánto es que me amas no te creo no ooh ooh

I heart my fiancé mucho!! Mmmm...he's wonderful...

Anyway...poor boy almost fell up the stairs and then down the stairs last night because he was too stubborn to wait for me and went by himself. ::sigh:: I know he's sick of having to rely on other people, but seriously...does he really want to hurt himself some more? But I can't wait for him to be completely healed and better!! I miss him lots!!

Blah...I have class tonight at I don't wanna go. Ha!, I still haven't read any of the story that's going to be on the final exam next Thursday. Oh, well... That's what the review questions are for...right? We're supposed to get those tonight.

So...this explains both romantic and physical chemistry between people...

Hmm...I have to go get in the shower...but I'm being lazy. That and the tree cutting people are here. So...y'know, I don't really want to be wandering around in nothing but a towel while a bunch of random men are outside my house. True, they should not be anywhere near my windows, but who knows...

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

I know you don't mean to be mean to me cuz when you want to you can make me feel like we belong lately you make me feel all I am is a backup plan

::sigh:: I hate school. I so very wish that I could have dropped my stats class. It's so going to lower my g.p.a. Not that it'll lower it by that much, but still... I have to get an 83 on the final exam just to get a B- in the class. How pathetic is that? Very much so.

So...the guys to cut down the diseased and dead/dying tree in the backyard are here...which means that at any time, they might need to cut the power to the house for safety reasons. And I don't blame them for wanting to cut the power for safety reasons...I wouldn't want to be cutting down a tree and possibly electrocute myself either. But that just means that I won't have any music or computer...and yeah, I can live without one or the other...but not without both at the same time. No computer and no stereo?!?! Eep!!

Tonight, I'm watching the girls until about 8:15p...and then I don't have to watch them again until Monday because their mom is able to get them on Friday. And then on Monday and Tuesday, I'm staying later also...until 8:30p on Monday and until 7:30p on Tuesday because I have to leave for class.

Holy crap, that tree cutting down crap is really freaking loud!! It's loud and vibrate-y!! Jesus Christ!! that my dull headache is about to become a full blown migraine...

Randomly, while I had an away message up for AIM, the boy sent me an IM to say he was sorry if he was being mean last night. He probably wasn't really all that mean, because I didn't really think that he was...and I'm pretty sure that I told him that. But it was completely random of him to do that. I was just a little annoyed with him when I left his house, so I didn't bother informing him that I wasn't going straight home, but that I had to stop and get gas first. Since he wants me to call him when I get home to make sure that I made it home safely...because I don't know, I might die in a car crash on the approximate 5.2 mile, 12 minute drive home. Meh...I would tell him to call me when he got home, too...
but that was more because then he could be the last person I would hear before falling asleep. Yeah, I know...totally girly. But whatever, he didn't even seem to notice or care that it took me almost half an hour to get home. He was being weird last night...which he said was due to my strange behavior when I asked him about it. I just ignored it after the conversation was over, because there was nothing I could do about it. I had tried to explain to him when he first asked me why I was doing what I was doing...when what was bugging me was done, I quit the behavior that was bugging him...but he kept up the same behavior as though I was still acting that I don't know. That was why I ignored it and just tried to go to sleep...I needed to get some sleep because I had class this morning. So...meh...I can't fix it... At least, not fix that particular situation.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

the road to Hell is paved with good intentions yeah, but if I die tonight at least I can say I did what I wanted to do, tell me how 'bout you?

So...this is what the people at Cosmo have had to say for my horoscope for the past few days:
04.13.08, Sunday, Libra – Single? A well-balanced guy might inspire your romantic side with his stellar seduction skills. Attached? Your sack-time stamina could keep him spellbound under the frisky Moon tonight.
04.14.08, Monday, Libra – Positive communication always helps you to feel better. Venus encourages you to spend time with the people you love. Today, that's the most important thing you can do.
04.15.08, today, Libra – Beauty queen Venus knows how you love to primp and suggests that you consider going all out today and getting a spa facial and makeup lesson. You'll feel as gorgeous as you'll look.
Interesting...that's really all I have to say...seeing how y'know, he's broken...there is no sack-time to worry about, right?

Also, this Cosmo confession amused a bunch...poor girl...poor guy...I don't know who would have been more traumatized in that situation...probably her...

some Overheard in New York amusement...

Don't Hate the Yoplait, Hate the Yoplaya
College chick #1: He told me afterwards that he hadn't masturbated all week but seriously, he came so much that it was oozing out of the base of the condom.
College chick #2: That's so gross.
College chick #1: Yeah but that's not the worst part, it had the consistency of yogurt.
College chick #2, awed: Man, yogurts...
College chick #1: Yeah it was kinda inspiring. Only also kinda horrible.
College chick #2: Wait, if the c*m was coming out of the condom, doesn't that mean you might get pregnant?
College chick #1: Yeah I guess, but I feel like that sperm kinda earned it, you know? I dunno if I could complain with sperm that um, fortitudinous.
College chick #2: Good word.
-- 1 Train

Which Speaker You Find More Annoying Says a Lot About You as a Person
Environmentalist with clipboard: Excuse me, do you have a minute to help save the environment?
Woman in suit: I'm sorry, I already saved the children this morning and then told the Democratic Party to go f*** themselves three blocks ago, so no, I don't have time to save the environment today. Maybe tomorrow, hippie.
-- Broadway & Bond

New Yorkers Are Ultra-Sensitive About Color
Guy at bar: And so I keep trying to tell my wife that sienna is not a color.
Girl passing by: Yes it is! Burnt sienna is a crayon you slanderous prick!
-- Restaurant, Bleecker Street

Who Knew Getting to Grandmother's House Would Be This Hard?
Chick, a little buzzed: Fleetwood, crestwood, woodlawn...There's so much wood on this train I can't concentrate.
Boyfriend: [stares at her wide-eyed].
Chick: Oh my god, did I just say that?
Boyfriend: Yes, and at least five guys heard it.
Random guy: I'm one.
-- Metro North

Besides, If You Go Far Enough Left, You're Right.
Little girl, adorably: So, this hand is right and this one is left?
Mom: No, it's the other way around.
Little girl: But you said before! You said this was the right and this was the left!
Mom: Well, if I'm facing you -
Little girl, exasperated: Mother, I really don't want to talk to you about this anymore.

***Spoiler Alert***

Victoria in Goldsboro, N.C.: I love Dancing with the Stars and was wondering if you ever hear any backstage gossip about the dancers? I really want to know if Mark and Sabrina from last season are still together?
My understanding is yes, they are still together. Sabrina has been backstage watching during at least two shows, and I hear they still appear to be very close! Also, Julianne Hough is not romantically involved with any of her former partners, contrary to popular belief. Korbi just recently spotted her out in West Hollywood, holding hands with longtime on again, off again love, Zack. You may remember him as a finalist on Dance War: Bruno Vs. Carrie Ann.

Rebecca in Sun Valley, Idaho: Any word on Blair and Nate on Gossip Girl? I want them together!
There's a big twist ahead with Nate heading toward another girl! Any guesses? (And no, it's not Serena, but it is someone we have already met on the show! Post your guesses in the comments section...)

spoilers courtesy of E! online's Watch With Kristin

Friday, April 11, 2008

you make me wanna lala in the kitchen on the floor I'll be your French maid when I'll meet you at the door I'm like an alley cat drink the milk up

So...I would like answers to the following questions, por favor (this really isn't a request so much as an order, gracias ):

.:. If your company gave one-year paid sabbaticals, what would you do for that year?
.:. Will you share an embarrassing moment with me?
.:. If your house were on fire, what’s the one thing you’d make sure to save?
.:. What’s the biggest misperception people have about you?
.:. What’s the one life experience you want a do-over on?

from this link which means technically that the q's are for one to ask his/her lovah, but whatev.

Seriously though, I'd like the would be interesting to get them... And I don't have to watch the girls today...but I do watch them for a couple of hours tomorrow.

Here's what my horoscope for today is according to the people at Cosmo:
Libra - If you're about to have a pity party, appreciative Venus reminds you that being thankful for everything you have might be the only mood-boosting approach you need today.
I'm thinking that they might be on to something for a change... romantic...well, y'know...until he burned down the gazebo...

Umm...only 3 to 13 minutes...let's go with the average of 8 then...cuz three minutes is a bit too close to 90 seconds, buddy...

And I'm excited cuz the boy just might be coming out to eat tonight!! Yays!! He hasn't really left the house to much of anything unrequired since the the morning of his unfortunate accident (or y'know, when he went up to Metamora to play paintball) I'm excited because that means that I can see him somewhere other than in his home where he's all sad-like cuz he's cooped up. I'm doing a really bad job of not letting his unhappiness with his current state affect me, because I'm always moody when I see him... So...ciao, dahling!!

Thursday, April 10, 2008

needless to say you got issues there’s no f***in’ way that I’m gonna fix you it’s never the same ever since you went fallin’ down down down

::sigh:: here's what happened last night when I went over to "talk" to the boy. Cuz talking was the reason for going over there. And we didn't really do that. I mean, we did...but we didn't. It did not go well...not at all. Sometimes I get the feeling that he likes to cause me to cry...I even asked him that last night. Honestly though, I don't like upsetting him. That's why I try to avoid answering his questions sometimes when I think that the "real" answer would upset him. That's not a good communication option either...and I am well aware of that...but I don't know what to do.

I don't know what to do anymore...and he keeps telling me to see other people while he's healing for the next three months. I hate when he tells me that. I don't want to see other people...and even if I did, why would I? Am I stupid? Do I really want to cause irreparable damage to our relationship? Because not telling him about it would eat away at me, but telling him would eat away at him. See...a lose-lose situation... Besides, I just want us to be happy again.

Sometimes I wish that I'd never, ever told him that I'd probably stay with him even if he was [insert some words] while we were on that stupid walk that one night. Then maybe he would have never told me that he'd been lying to me for so long and I'd still trust him. And neither of us would have a broken heart...and we wouldn't be fighting all the time and trying to fix our relationship constantly...

So many what-ifs...there's no possibility of living in a dream world though, is there?


When I left to go home, there was a little bunny rabbit hopping across the boy's yard!! It was super cute!! It made me think of Bunnicula. I decided to Google "bunnicula" so that I could put in a link to Bunnicula, and I found a bunch of things. But only two were worth it; the Wikipedia link and the Bunnicula Jeopardy link. Aww, how cute!! Seriously, I think that I have ADD because I get off track so easily.

Hmm...I started this off by saying it would recap what happened with the "talk" with the boy...but never really did recap... Oh, well...nobody really needs to know...those that absolutely need to know, already do... Besides, there's still a countdown timer on the right-side of this blog isn't there? So obviously, things couldn't have gone too poorly...right?

life goes by so fast you only want to do what you think is right close your eyes and its past it's the story of my life story of my life

I have to leave soon to go pick up my 19 y/o brother from Lowe' this'll be short. There might be a longer one later today. I don't know. Anyway...I should probably go grab my keys and sunglasses...oh, yeah and my purse, so that I can go pick up my brother. That half an hour went by pretty quickly didn't it?

Internet Quiz 2.0
from MSN Encarta...I looked at it and realized I know nothing about the internet...but maybe the boy does...

Amusement from Overheard in New York...where else?

Can't We Just Do Meth Like a Normal Couple?
Pissed girlfriend: You never want to do anything fun.
Exasperated boyfriend: That's because everything you call 'fun' involves heroin or fire.
-- Union Square

[Update - 12:19p] Grr...I have music playing and my 19 y/o brother is turning on the tv... Okay...he's putting it on mute. Good boy...

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

watching me wanting me I can feel you pull me down fearing you loving you I won't let you pull me down

Oh. My. God. I want to scream!! Seriously. I don't understand and I wish that someone could please explain to me. It would be greatly appreciated. ::sigh::

Anyway...I'm probably going over my daddy's house after watching the girls this evening. He's helping me with my taxes. Woo woo. Yeah, I is April 9th, the deadline is less than a week away. Way to be on top of things. But hello, the only reason that I have to even file my stupid taxes is because of U.S. Savings Bonds being cashed in for payment for school expenses. So...I'm pretty sure that I don't even owe money. True, I don't get anything back either...but I don't owe anything.

I like how when the problem in the relationship is me, then it's a big one that needs to be fixed right away...but when I have a problem with something he is doing and I try not word it in a way to cause him to get defensive, there's no need for him to try and change because he "can't change." Isn't that cool? And he's wondering what to do because the girl he started dating and the girl he's currently dating isn't acting like the same person... Huh, didn't I just complain about the same thing the other day? Oh, that's right...I did. But...y'know, I'm just avoiding the topic at hand by bringing up him and not focusing on what a terrible girlfriend, I mean fiancée I am.

Sorry, if I seem just a tad bit b****y, but I'm sick of the same things being said to me every week or so. And when I say these same things to him in person it just isn't getting through (usually I try for it to be in a nicer way) maybe if I just put it out there for anyone to see, the boy will realize I'm pretty much done.

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

you taste so sweet but I can't eat the same thing every day cuttin' off the phone leave me the f*** alone tomorrow I'll be beggin' you to come home

::sigh:: I have to watch Pan's Labyrinth today...the quiz is due tonight. Plus, I have to read the first 20 pages or so approximately of the second novel for Spanish. I hate homework.

So...umm...I was going to write something...but now I don't feel like it... Whatever, I'll write anyway.

I'm pretty sure that the boy is mad at me because of last night. He was I left to go home...and he didn't like that I left. More specifically, he didn't like the way in which I chose to leave. But since he'd made it fairly obvious to me more than once that he wanted me to leave, I didn't see why it was a big deal. But of course, when he says something to me about anything I've done, if I say something about him at all, that is me "being defensive." He says that's why it's impossible, or whatever his words were, to talk to me. And to him it may have sounded defensive, but I wasn't trying to be...I was only trying to say that he doesn't have much room to judge anything that I do because at times he can be just as bad.'s something about a baby born with two faces...

***Spoiler Alert***

Marlene in Orlando: Any dish on Top Model?
Maybe...Anya? I spotted da Hawaiian homegirl in her homeland (Honolulu, Oahu), having fruity drinks at the Halekulani Hotel with a man who must have been twice her age...I know, scandal! Quite less scandalous (and reassuring) is that he turned out to be her real daddy, not her sugar daddy. I chatted up the two of them, and Anya said she never gets recognized, adding, "[I am] hanging out in here [Hawaii] for now, because we can't do anything until the show is over." Technically, each girl can't do anything until they get kicked off the show, so I thought maybe that's a good sign that she stays on until the end? Perhaps? She seems to be doing better and better each week, no?

Kathleen in Plymouth, Mich.: What's the deal with Nip/Tuck? Will we ever see it again, or was Sean's stabbing the end of the story?
Heck no! Production on new episodes has already begun, and though Sean may not be in tiptop shape, McNamara/Troy could have their very own Doogie Howser to pick up the slack. Sources say a teenage doctor named Raj infiltrates the boys' practice and sticks around for quite some time!

Aimee in San Diego: I can't wait for Nip/Tuck to come back. Do you know if we'll see Colleen Rose again?
Yup, I believe a psychotic Sharon Gless will be back, and we also meet her poor sister. P.S.: I'm hearing someone the guys know and love might have breast cancer.

Spoilers courtesy of E! online's Watch with Kristin

Monday, April 7, 2008

late night you make me feel like I'm desperate I'm not desperate oh a little bit possessive little miss obsessive can't get over it

Here's what Cosmo says is my horoscope for today:
Libra - Single? A possessive type who wants to shower you with his affection might excite you long enough for a short but amazing fling. Attached? Only quickies might do under lustful Venus tonight.
I don't think about you?

Anyway...last night on my way out of the boy's house I managed to bruise my left hand on the screen door. So now the space just below my thumb is pretty sore. It sucks. Yay for him though, he helped (well, more than helped) a lot with my Monday night homework yesterday!!

Tomorrow morning is his follow-up appointment with his orthopedic surgeon. He'll get his full cast...currently he's in the post-op half cast still. That thing has got to weigh at least 25lb. according to him. I believe him...he set his foot down on my thigh briefly and it was super heavy!! And he didn't let the full weight down either...thankfully. He said that his boss wants him to come in tomorrow afternoon. Yeah, umm...that's only happening if his doctor says that's okay. Otherwise, the boss has to wait until whenever (probably Wednesday morning). Even though I know the boy wants out of the house. He's sick of being cooped up.

Ugh...the youngest brother had to borrow my island blue Vans this morning because yesterday my family played tug-o-war in the mud and his shoes were still too wet and muddy this morning. Don't worry, technically my Vans are a pair of boys' shoes since I bought them from the boys' section of the the kid isn't wearing a girls' pair of shoes. And he practically wears the same size shoes as me, too. They might be a bit too big length wise, but width wise they might be a bit too tight. I have pretty narrow feet...and he has pretty wide feet. So...he's not really going to be in foot trouble for wearing those shoes for one day. I'm just worried that he'll destroy my shoes...'s a few things that have amused me over the weekend:
.:. internet addiction as a real malady in the DSM V?
.:. haha, so much for polygamy...both wives left him at the same time...
.:. hmm...gaydar is real after all...
.:. four unhealthy habits of couples...yep (definitely all we do did is eat out, well y'know what I mean), yep (the boy does anyway), yep (but not so much anymore), (no comment)...

some amusement from Overheard in New York...

Did the Boy Oversleep, Too?
Big black guy: I thought she was goin' to get an abortion?
Tiny Rican girl: Yeah, but she overslept and missed her appointment.
Big black guy: How do you miss an abortion appointment?!
Tiny Rican girl: Well she's only seventeen, she's not really responsible yet.
Big black guy, yelling: Well then maybe she shouldn't have been thinking about sex yet! For Christ's sake she missed her abortion appointment! What a whore!
-- H&M, Brooklyn

Your Editors Are Appalled by This Display of Public Decency
Girl #1: What's a blow job?
Girl #2: [looks at her strangely then laughs] Are you seriously asking that?
Girl #1: Yeah.
Girl #2: We're gonna have a long discussion later...
-- 231st St

Friday, April 4, 2008

I can fake with the best of anyone I can fake with the best of 'em all I can fake with the best of anyone I can fake it all

So...from the things I read in the news this week, I really don't think that this is necessarily the best week to be a child...
.:. nine 3rd graders plot to attack teacher in GA elementary school...
.:. AR no longer has a law mistakenly allowing parental consent for marriage at any age...even toddlers!!
.:. woo woo...a new show taped for Spike TV with the DEA doesn't make Detroit look so great...
.:. yay for MySpace doing something to help find a kidnapped kid...y'know, as opposed to being a breeding ground for child molesters looking to get their rocks off with 13 y/o girls and boys...
.:. seriously, I would have been the paper girl if it meant $500 tips...
.:. yeah, umm...I think after 38 years, I would have given up hope...after 38 minutes I would have given up hope...
Just some of the random news stuff that was interesting...

Here's some random things that amused me this week...
.:. Adam Sandler broke his ankle, also, this now the boy doesn't have to feel like he's the only stupid boy who got hurt playing something...
.:. okay...this one didn't amuse me, I'm putting it here because I know it'll probably amuse the boy...he's a big giant nerd who finds astronomy amusing...astronomers have found 10 new planets, including a baby one...aww, how cute!!
.:. and since the boy is graduating this year with his bachelor's in computer science, this intrigued me when I saw the headline on my Yahoo! page...and so, together #2 (well, the last line anyway) and #5 are what he's been saying he wants to do...
Hmm...I guess you can tell where my mind has been all week since I just realized that those are related to the boy... next part will probably upset the boy if he reads it...but I'm really sorry. I know that complaining about something a guy's mom does is about the worst thing to do ever...because, like, every girly magazine points that out (but, notice the men's magazines never seem to say "don't do x, y, or z or she'll love you less"). But, before anybody yells at me for it, let me just say that I honestly like his mom. I mean, I don't always agree with everything that she has to say, but I don't always agree with my own mom, so what's the big deal with that? I like his mom at least 95% of the time...agreeing with her has nothing to do with liking her.

The thing is, I just don't like the way that she goes about monitoring the medication prescribed after surgery for her adult son. If he wants to be stupid and take too much and hurt himself worse than the physical pain of the broken bones, then why should she or anyone else stop him? Plus, it bugs me more that both of his parents use a joking tone of voice to say that he's taking more of his medication than he should be or that he's hiding it from them than it annoys me that they're just being the typical overbearing only child parents with the medication monitoring issue. I can ignore the monitoring because it's never going to go away...I don't like listening to them have absolutely no trust for him. I don't really know if much of the second half of the paragraph makes sense, but, oh well...
.:. Anyway, here's something that was on MSN's homepage on either Monday or Tuesday: it's some common myths about opioid analgesics. It was interesting to read it, because even though I already knew whether or not a myth a true, I still learned some things that I didn't know. (I would have put a link to it, even if the boy wasn't currently broken just because)
So...yeah...hopefully, the boy doesn't get mad at me... I really was not trying to piss him off. It's just that he's an only child, so I think that part of it is just that because they only have one child to worry about...all of their energy is put into worrying about him and it's overbearing like the stereotypical parents of an only child. I'm sure my own parents would be nearly as bad if I'd been an only child. ::sigh::

Oh, and poor baby brother...he's home from school sick today...he vomited before school.

Some amusement from Overheard in New York...

Four-year-old girl screaming: IT IS MY MONEY AND I WANT IT BACK!
Shockingly calm but exhausted Dad: No Sarah, it is OUR money.
Sarah [chanting over and over while stomping her feet.]: IT IS MY MONEY! I WANT IT BACK!
-- Bank, Madison Ave & E 65th

Won't You Please Donate to Help These Poor Victims of Time Travel?
Shirtless old guy, walking over to a group of friends: Looks like you got a nice circle there, mind if I join you guys?
Stranger: No, I think we're good...
Shirtless old guy: Well, I'll be back...[looks up at the trees.] Do you see the pterodactyls? ...up there, the dinosaurs? [Wakes up a hobo on the benches.] Sir, you see them, don't you? ...pterodactyls...pkawww pkawww [flaps his arms.]
[back to the group of friends]
I'll be back. pkawww!
-- Union Square

No Wonder Mom Slaps You
Father: Do you want some juice now? Want juice?
Two-year-old boy: Be patient.
-- G train

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

I don't wanna do this anymore I don't wanna be the reason why everytime I walk out the door I see him die a little more inside

What the f*** is going on in the world? I mean, seriously, c'mon...crabby-pants is talking to me and the boy is not. Granted...all crabby-pants did was say to me was to ask if I needed the bathroom before he got in the shower, but that's more than he's said to me in nearly six weeks. Or is it nearly seven weeks now? I've lost count...but also, I quit counting because I no longer deemed it important.

And...let's see...the boy is pissed at me since my away message when he IM'd me last night said, "oh man, am I sore...and I no longer miss my fiancé..." But I'm sorry, it's annoying that every time that he told me to call him since Sunday night, it's gone straight to Voicemail...since he's been passed out due to whatever medication he's been drugged up with at the time. So...technically, my away message is not a lie. I don't miss him anymore. Honestly though...I miss the boy that I started dating...even if that guy was a lying a**hole to me. At least he didn't make me cry nearly every week. ::sigh:: I wonder if that fulfills the need for openness that he was talking about on Saturday night...

Last night...I started thinking about maybe just editing out a couple of the things that I really don't want him to see from my journal...and just saying, "here, have something to amuse you while you're home from work." Then he'd see that I really don't censor much on here. And that I really don't hide that much from him. Maybe then he'd stop trying to force me to trust him...because I don't think that I'm ever going to again. And that scares me. Sometimes...I just wish that he was in my head...then he'd know all the damage he's helped to cause...

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

where are you and I'm so sorry I cannot sleep I cannot dream tonight I need somebody and always

The boy is going home today...he said that he'd call me when he's home. But I'm not counting on it. Especially since I'm watching the girls this afternoon from 4:00-6:30p and then I have class from I doubt that I'll see him today. And I doubt that I'll see him tomorrow either since I have to watch the girls again for the same time...and then I'm probably going to be going to my daddy's afterwards to do my taxes. ::sigh:: At least this way we can't fight, right? Plus, they gave him Percocet™ since they took out his he's drowsy from it. So...yeah, remember his lack of pain tolerance? He's pretty much gonna dose himself as much as he, yeah...drowsiness is the other reason I'm most likely not going to see until who knows when... ::sigh:: Seriously, I miss my fiancé...a lot. I don't care if all my whining about it makes me sound like "such a girl." (This paragraph was originally just going to be an [Update] to the previous posting of the day, but I decided against it.)

Blah...this is currently one depressing blog. Good thing I don't actually have to worry about people commenting and complaining...or saying anything to me in person.

Oh, and last year for the month of April there was a total of two far there are two posts for the first day of April. In 2007, I didn't really put much on here. I mean, there was a total of 72 posts in the whole's only April 1st and already there are 61 posts. So, yeah...I think that I got over not wanting to put everything I'm thinking on the internet.

I don't even know my last name my mama would be so ashamed it started off "hey cutie,where you from?" then it turned into "oh no! what have I done?"

So...the boy is okay now...well, as okay as he can considering how wonderfully he effed up his ankle on Sunday. I asked the orthopedic surgeon if he put any screws in him and his response was "a bunch." So, yeah...the boy did a number on himself. I really do love that boy...even though it sometimes doesn't sound like it. Today, he has some physical therapy...and he should be going home today. ::sigh:: I miss my fiancé...and I think that I'm going to be missing him for quite a while, too. ::sigh::

Anyway, since he works for a home medical supply company...they're going to supply him with a hospital bed to sleep in for when he gets home (since his bed is downstairs and he won't be able to get downstairs for at least a couple weeks) and a motorized scooter to get around with at work (it's a big place and using crutches to get around would totally suck). So that's pretty cool of 'em. I don't think they're going to charge him for it either...nepotism at its best. And, yes, I did use the word correctly. The CEO of the company is his third cousin (I'm pretty sure, he's the boy's third cousin...since the uncle, and CEO's father or something like that, who recently passed away was his maternal grandfather's brother...that family confuses me more than mine does).'s hard to find someone at that company who doesn't have a relative working there.

When I talked to him last night about driving to WV for the wedding...he made the suggestion of possibly asking this couple that's also going if we could go along with them, but I didn't like that suggestion very much. So he said we'd figure it out. So obviously he still wants to go. But seriously...I hate driving...and he makes me nervous when I drive (I don't know why he does, but when he's in the car while I'm driving I tend to hit things) pair that anxiety with the anxiety of an unfamiliar area and I will so crash the vehicle. And I do not want to die in Hillbilly-ville!! But it's not the crash that'll kill us, but the hospital visit that will.

Ewewewewew!! So...I have this slight obsession with advice columns (okay it might be a little more than slight). And in the Dear Abby that was posted as of 7:58 ET last night, it was gross. At least the first question in the daily column was gross...the whole daily column wasn't gross.

But...I should probably go get in the shower...not like that'll take me all that long since I don't need to shave my legs for any reason. I mean, c''ll be weeks before I get to cuddle with the boy what's the point of making myself pretty? I'm not the type of girl who's going to go out and find some replacement guy...that's completely wrong.