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As of February 23, 2012, I have a very sweet, very cute little boy. Baby PGS is my world now.

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Wednesday, April 2, 2008

I don't wanna do this anymore I don't wanna be the reason why everytime I walk out the door I see him die a little more inside

What the f*** is going on in the world? I mean, seriously, c'mon...crabby-pants is talking to me and the boy is not. Granted...all crabby-pants did was say to me was to ask if I needed the bathroom before he got in the shower, but that's more than he's said to me in nearly six weeks. Or is it nearly seven weeks now? I've lost count...but also, I quit counting because I no longer deemed it important.

And...let's see...the boy is pissed at me since my away message when he IM'd me last night said, "oh man, am I sore...and I no longer miss my fiancé..." But I'm sorry, it's annoying that every time that he told me to call him since Sunday night, it's gone straight to Voicemail...since he's been passed out due to whatever medication he's been drugged up with at the time. So...technically, my away message is not a lie. I don't miss him anymore. Honestly though...I miss the boy that I started dating...even if that guy was a lying a**hole to me. At least he didn't make me cry nearly every week. ::sigh:: I wonder if that fulfills the need for openness that he was talking about on Saturday night...

Last night...I started thinking about maybe just editing out a couple of the things that I really don't want him to see from my journal...and just saying, "here, have something to amuse you while you're home from work." Then he'd see that I really don't censor much on here. And that I really don't hide that much from him. Maybe then he'd stop trying to force me to trust him...because I don't think that I'm ever going to again. And that scares me. Sometimes...I just wish that he was in my head...then he'd know all the damage he's helped to cause...

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