::sigh::
Okay...so here's what happened last night when I went over to "talk" to the boy. Cuz talking was the reason for going over there. And we didn't really do that. I mean, we did...but we didn't. It did not go well...not at all. Sometimes I get the feeling that he likes to cause me to cry...I even asked him that last night. Honestly though, I don't like upsetting him. That's why I try to avoid answering his questions sometimes when I think that the "real" answer would upset him. That's not a good communication option either...and I am well aware of that...but I don't know what to do.
I don't know what to do anymore...and he keeps telling me to see other people while he's healing for the next three months. I hate when he tells me that. I don't want to see other people...and even if I did, why would I? Am I stupid? Do I really want to cause irreparable damage to our relationship? Because not telling him about it would eat away at me, but telling him would eat away at him. See...a lose-lose situation... Besides, I just want us to be happy again.
Sometimes I wish that I'd never, ever told him that I'd probably stay with him even if he was [insert some words] while we were on that stupid walk that one night. Then maybe he would have never told me that he'd been lying to me for so long and I'd still trust him. And neither of us would have a broken heart...and we wouldn't be fighting all the time and trying to fix our relationship constantly...
So many what-ifs...there's no possibility of living in a dream world though, is there?
::sigh::
When I left to go home, there was a little bunny rabbit hopping across the boy's yard!! It was super cute!! It made me think of Bunnicula. Okay...so I decided to Google "bunnicula" so that I could put in a link to Bunnicula, and I found a bunch of things. But only two were worth it; the Wikipedia link and the Bunnicula Jeopardy link. Aww, how cute!! Seriously, I think that I have ADD because I get off track so easily.
Hmm...I started this off by saying it would recap what happened with the "talk" with the boy...but never really did recap... Oh, well...nobody really needs to know...those that absolutely need to know, already do... Besides, there's still a countdown timer on the right-side of this blog isn't there? So obviously, things couldn't have gone too poorly...right?
Okay...so here's what happened last night when I went over to "talk" to the boy. Cuz talking was the reason for going over there. And we didn't really do that. I mean, we did...but we didn't. It did not go well...not at all. Sometimes I get the feeling that he likes to cause me to cry...I even asked him that last night. Honestly though, I don't like upsetting him. That's why I try to avoid answering his questions sometimes when I think that the "real" answer would upset him. That's not a good communication option either...and I am well aware of that...but I don't know what to do.
I don't know what to do anymore...and he keeps telling me to see other people while he's healing for the next three months. I hate when he tells me that. I don't want to see other people...and even if I did, why would I? Am I stupid? Do I really want to cause irreparable damage to our relationship? Because not telling him about it would eat away at me, but telling him would eat away at him. See...a lose-lose situation... Besides, I just want us to be happy again.
Sometimes I wish that I'd never, ever told him that I'd probably stay with him even if he was [insert some words] while we were on that stupid walk that one night. Then maybe he would have never told me that he'd been lying to me for so long and I'd still trust him. And neither of us would have a broken heart...and we wouldn't be fighting all the time and trying to fix our relationship constantly...
So many what-ifs...there's no possibility of living in a dream world though, is there?
::sigh::
When I left to go home, there was a little bunny rabbit hopping across the boy's yard!! It was super cute!! It made me think of Bunnicula. Okay...so I decided to Google "bunnicula" so that I could put in a link to Bunnicula, and I found a bunch of things. But only two were worth it; the Wikipedia link and the Bunnicula Jeopardy link. Aww, how cute!! Seriously, I think that I have ADD because I get off track so easily.
Hmm...I started this off by saying it would recap what happened with the "talk" with the boy...but never really did recap... Oh, well...nobody really needs to know...those that absolutely need to know, already do... Besides, there's still a countdown timer on the right-side of this blog isn't there? So obviously, things couldn't have gone too poorly...right?
No comments:
Post a Comment