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As of February 23, 2012, I have a very sweet, very cute little boy. Baby PGS is my world now.

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Sunday, November 30, 2008

did you see me walking by did it ever make you cry you're my favorite mistake you're my favorite mistake you're my favorite mistake

Just cleaning out some stuff, I came across something that I didn't really want to see, but whatever. Anyway, since I'd come across it, I decided to look at it anyway...and y'know what sucks? Realizing that I never got all of my stuff back...and I'm probably never going to. ::sigh::

[originally posted on my MySpace blog]

Friday, November 28, 2008

don't like the scene anyhow I dropped acid on a Saturday night just to see what the fuss was about well there goes the neighborhood

Wednesday night, I went out with some friends. For the first time since I turned 21, I was able to do what I wanted on the biggest bar night of the year. Not that the previous two were absolutely horrible, it's just that...nevermind, I don't know how to word that without sounding b****y.

The only thing was, some hillbilly (meh, I know using stereotypes isn't nice, but whatever the guy said he was from TN and his accent was kinda thick) could not take a hint! I wasn't completely rude or anything...but seriously, if I'd wanted to continue the conversation with him, I would have tried a little harder. Anyway, apparently, my friend's boyfriend sent him over to me. I sarcastically thanked him. But seeing friends was a good thing...but unfortunately, because it's been way too long since I was able to hang out with my friends, I didn't know most of the group (that normally goes out together every Wednesday night). And some of the group that I did know, yeah...if I never saw them again, I wouldn't mind. Oh, well...

I just hate that bars make you smell like an ashtray. Any time that MI wants to pass a smoking ban would be awesome!!

I don't know yet...I might go out again on Saturday night. But it's to celebrate someone's birthday, and I don't particularly care for the person (falls under the 'if I never saw again' category). But just getting out and doing something fun, or partially fun, could be a good thing. Meh...I don't know what to tell my friend (about whether or not I'm going).

My Cosmo horoscope from Wednesday said...
Libra - Scour Facebook for the people from your past (exes included) if curious Mercury makes you wonder what they're doing now.
And then this was the one from VSPink...
Libra - Hit the Books You're so creative, Libra! But your less-than-favorite classes need some love too. Join a study group. Make flash cards. Ask your prof about extra credit. Just don't procrastinate or you'll be sorry.
Umm...well, I really don't think the looking at what my ex is doing is the best idea, but the looking for other people from my past wasn't necessarily a bad suggestion. But, yeah...the "don't procrastinate or you'll be sorry" is sadly true. But, duh...that's got nothing to do with astrology. Just poor time management...and not understanding the material [orgo I] in the least little bit (even when I think that I do and manage to do well on the practice problems, but apparently I'm still failing the tests).

Thursday, November 27, 2008

you can get anything you want at Alice's Restaurant walk right in it's around the back just a half a mile from the railroad track

Happy Thanksgiving!!

Hope everyone has a happy and safe holiday!!

Don't forget about the traditional Thanksgiving day song, Alice's Restaurant - Arlo Guthrie (it's quite possibly one of the longest songs ever!!)...

Monday, November 24, 2008

this is it now everybody get down this is all I can take this is how a heart breaks you take a hit now you feel it break down make you stay wide awake

Okay, I want to try this whole having a boyfriend thing again. The only problem is...I want the stupid jerk that broke my heart (I just don't know if I want him because I still love him or for some other reason). So, yeah...I'm thinking that my judgement isn't the best. Plus, my track record isn't the best when it comes to picking who I date. If we look at the last two guys I dated (since that goes back a little more than three and a half years), we can see that both were pot smoking, coke heads. And one of them may still be, but seeing how I never spoke to him again, I wouldn't know. So, umm, yeah...I apparently have a bit of a thing for drug addicts...and that's really not a good thing.

This leads me to the conclusion that I should leave who the next person I date is up to my friends (and only my friends with good judgement, not the friends who also date losers like I do!). The only guys that I'm allowed to choose for myself are the ones that aren't going to mean anything, so they can't hurt me. So in other words: friends with benefits...but I'm really not the type of girl that can handle that kind of relationship. Don't get me wrong, as long as both of the people involved in the relationship feel okay with what's going on, then good for them (meaning that I don't think that two people have to be in a monogamous/dating relationship with one another to have sex with one another). But as for me, personally, I can't do it, I'm not comfortable with it.

::sigh:: I'm sick of the emotional bipolar disorder. One moment, I feel as though I'm over him (the ex) and almost completely, too...and then another moment, I feel as though my heart as been ripped out all over again. Obviously, I need to move on, because he has already and even told me that he did before the relationship had ended (like, a few weeks ago he told me this, maybe even a week ago).

Saturday, November 22, 2008

I've found a reason for me to change who I used to be a reason to start over new and the reason is you

Seriously, how many people have actually paid attention to the lyrics of Hoobastank's "The Reason"? Because I think there are lots of people who hear(d) the song and are like, 'aww, that's so sweet, he's changing for her!' But in actuality, he's saying, 'sorry, I hurt you so much that I now realize I'm a gigantic a**hole and see that I have to change in order to have a lasting relationship with my new girl, and oh, yeah, I still care about you, just not enough to come back to you.'

And on my way to pick up the girls yesterday afternoon, I heard the song. I've always realized that it's not quite as lovey-dovey as people think.

Oh, yeah, I should probably explain what this rant was about. Thursday, while I was at my dad's house, my brother and I were listening to music on my computer while eating pizza (and looking at slug "porn", that's what we learned about in bio on Wednesday). And he wanted to hear "The Reason," but I don't have that song on any of my playlists. Well, I didn't at the time anyway.

And yays to MTV for playing the most recent season of America's Next Top Model all day today!! It makes up for me not getting to see it. I was so not looking forward to watching it online.'s dinner time, ciao!!

Friday, November 21, 2008

if you were dead or still alive I don't care I don't care just go and leave this all behind 'cause I swear (I swear) I don't care

Here's the weekly round-up of what I found interesting this week:
.:. I can't believe that people just sat there and watched...
.:. Why? Just why? What makes $400,000 worth it?
.:. So very glad that I wasn't on that flight!!
.:. Umm, yeah...probably not the best way to go about getting the hug that you so desperately(?) want...
.:. Yay for cell phones!! At least, yay for this guy's cell phone anyway, it saved his life.
.:. I totally agree with the retired admirals and generals that say to get rid of the 'don't ask, don't tell' policy...
.:. How sad is this? Her husband's coffin killed her...
.:. I know this is nearly four weeks old, but seriously how sweet, adorable and beautiful is this picture?
Just a short one this's getting close to the end of the semester, so the next few will probably be short, also.

And now for some amusement from Overheard in New York...

Wait -- Aren't You a Creative Writing Major?
Girl: And I had to buy my own scalpel, too.
Boy: Well, at least you'll have one now.
Girl: Yeah.
Boy: You never know when you'll need to skin a cat.
Girl: Or a person...
-- Columbia University

Do They Make Them in a Slingback?
Thug: What kinda shoes are those?
Chick in black feather skirt with 5-inch red & white heels: Miu Mius.
Thug: They're pretty.
-- Bryant Park Tents

My Barbie Says Girls Don't Care About Such Things
Park Slope mom: What did you do in science class today?
Five-year-old girl: You do not want to know.
-- F Train

A New York Cop is Born
Four-year old boy #1: Hey, try to catch me!
Four-year old boy #2: Shut the f*** up, motherf***er!
-- Carroll Gardens

And the Marks Were in the Shape of a Heart
Girl: I can't get drunk when you're not.
Guy: Why not?
Girl: You hit me, you're mean to me, you bite me--the last time you left marks on my boobs!
Guy: I never hit you.
-- 125th St & Broadway

Many Birds Have Difficulty Adjusting to City Life
Conductor: Please stand clear of the closing doors. (doors stay open) Pull yourself inside the door and let it close! (still open) Pull your pecker in! (doors close)
-- Downtown 2 Train

There's That Ivy League Logic
Druggie #1: No. Technically, if you don't have anything on you, they can't arrest you.
Druggie #2: Are you suggesting we smoke naked?
-- Columbia University

It's Not Delivery, It's Wednesday One-Liners
Six-year-old to friends: We should have an Obama pizza party!
-- Park Slope
...and there are six more one liners...

Wednesday One-Liners Have Been Workin' on the Railroad, All the Livelong Day
Conductor: Hey, partner, can we go? (static) We can't? Why the heck not? Hey, moron, get your a** in here! You're holding up a bunch of wonderful people! Wonderful New York commuters who don't need this kind of f***ing bulls*** at 3 on a Friday afternoon! (static) Yes, you! Keep pointing at yourself and my answer will keep being... Yes, it's you! Godd***it, get in the f***ing train! I hate dealing with this! (long pause) You know what, make a decision: either cram your Rosie O'Donnell a** in or get the f*** out! Oh, look, he's in! (slow, sarcastic applause) Partner, we can bounce up on out of here now.
-- 1 Train

Conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, for the next 250 years there will be track work on weekends. Don't say that no one told you.
-- R Train

Conductor: If you don't fit on this train kindly wait for the next B. (doors close) That was excellent, ladies and gentlemen, if you keep this up, we'll all be home really soon.
-- B Train

Conductor, looking forward to the end of his shift: All right folks, this is your 6:07 train to New Haven stopping at 125th, then express to Stamford. We're off...(makes clippy-clop noises) Neeiiigghh!
-- Metro-North Train

Conductor: This is 125th Street, may the force be with you, next stop 86th Street.
-- 4 Train

Conductor, after train goes through stop: Whoops! My bad. My bad.
-- G Train

Conductor, after train stops: Ladies and gentlemen, there is train traffic up ahead. We'll start moving as soon... (train starts moving) Oh, well, I guess that's cleared up. Weee!
-- Downtown A Train

back in school they never taught us what we needed to know like how to deal with despair or someone breakin' your heart

I love my younger sister. While I was at my daddy's house last night, she said that we should go tp the ex's house or his car, and that she'd go with me. I told her that we couldn't go do that. I wasn't going to do anything that made me look bad, or destroyed property. Especially not anything as bad what her friend did (she broke her ex's car window, like blew it out! crazy 16 y/o girl!!)! I mean, yeah, don't get me wrong, it would probably release a lot of pent-up anger and feel really good, possibly cathartic, to do something stupid and immature like that (the harmless, but messy tp'ing), but why? I would just look like an idiot.

A couple hours later, maybe earlier than that, when I was getting ready for bed, I had an away message up saying something about what my sister had said and he sent me an IM to say not to f*** with his house or his car. Umm, hello? Does he not know me? I told him pretty much the same thing that I said in the first paragraph, with most of the details left out. I just made it known that I wouldn't do something like that. Besides, he lives way out of my way...but more important and to the point: it's just not worth it to do something vindictive.

I got annoyed with him for saying that I'm not the same person I was when he met me. Like, duh!, we were in high school when we met, I was 16 years old. I should hope not. I really hope that I've matured and grown as a person since then. Honestly, though, I had a feeling that he most likely meant that I wasn't the same person that I was three years ago. But y'know what? Neither is he. And that's not to say that we haven't changed in positive ways, because before this past month or two, I would have said that he's still the same, but better. Which means, he's not the same, because if something improves, it's no longer the same. Anyway, I digress...

Yesterday, he was both decent to me (in the morning) and an a**hole to me (in the midday/afternoon). And even felt the need/want(?) to ask me if I thought he had a personality disorder. Are you kidding me? Even if I had an opinion of my own to give him, I am not a licensed psychologist nor am I licensed psychiatrist. Therefore, it would be unethical for me to answer his question (I didn't, by the way, I told him the second half of the previous sentence). When I got home from orgo lab and saw that he'd asked me that, I just thought that it was another ploy. Plus, he called me during my lab...for what seemed like just to upset me. I was in a good mood when I started lab, after having him call me for what turned out to be a phone call essentially about what a b**** I am, I didn't feel as great anymore. He has a new girlfriend now, why can't he leave me alone?

::sigh:: I just wish that I'd known then, what I know now. I would have saved every IM convo we had, because then maybe, just maybe, someone else would see that I'm not crazy and everything isn't in my head. ::sigh:: The in person convos would've been a little hard to record and keep record of though. But, still...just to show that I'm not as bad as I looked and probably still look to so many people. Out, around other people, I almost always looked like the bad guy...and when I said anything, I was told [by him] that it was all in my head. But then again, he told me that him trying to push me away was all in my head, as well as him not caring about me anymore or loving me anymore. And just this week, he told me that he'd been lying to my face about those things when I would ask point blank. So...maybe I'm not crazy after all...?

I only really started thinking about this stuff over again because on Wednesday when the new Advice Goddess column (C'mon, my obsession with advice columns is nothing new) was posted, I instantly knew what it felt like to be in the letter writer's position. I just hoped that she's smart enough to listen to the columnist's advice...but I know how hard it is to do the smart thing when your heart says to do something else.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

I hate to bug you in the middle of dinner it was a slap in the face how quickly I was replaced are you thinking of me when you f*** her? post from this morning, I actually wrote up and posted on either Saturday or Sunday, but I posted it with today's date because today is exactly one month after the ex broke up with me and I didn't think that I was going to be feeling any differently. I mean, c'mon, let's face it, I was head over heels in love with the guy for the better part of the last three years. Even when he was treating me like s***, for some dumba** reason, I was still in love with him.

But after I talked to him last night, which wasn't as heartbreaking as I'd thought it was going to be, and I felt absolutely nothing for him [at the time]. I realized that I'm over him. Don't get me wrong, I'm still hurt and feel betrayed...but I don't feel any love or even any like as in I want to maintain the friendship that he proposed towards him anymore. I can still be polite and civil towards him, but...yeah... I just wish that things had ended so much better between us. Because after waking up today, and having time with my thoughts, now I'm just pissed off and only feel hate and other negative feelings towards him. I honestly don't understand why he felt the need to string me along and tell me what he thought that I wanted to hear. Why did he think that drawing things out would make anything better? ::sigh::

But I also feel confusion about whether or not completely writing him off and not being friends with him is the right thing to do. I think that's because I spent nearly three years with the guy and want to believe that I didn't make a mistake. I want to believe that my judgement wasn't as clouded and wrong as I'm now thinking that it was. Because if it truly was, then I don't want to believe that I let myself get hurt so badly.

Truly, I hope he treats the girl he's dating now, better than he treated me. Because whoever she is, she deserves better than that. Any girl does...well, y'know, as long as she's a decent human being. It just kinda sucks (in an oh,-well-that's-life way) to find out that after he pretty much accused me of cheating, it turns out he was the one who was pretty much doing that exact thing, since she's some girl from one of his classes. But supposedly, he could never to do that me or have feelings for another person while in a relationship with someone else. ::sigh:: ::shrug:: It's just hard to believe what he says when two days in a row he tells me things that show he lied to my face on numerous occasions, and therefore contradict his claim of only lying to me about the big thing.

I know that I sound bitter, but it's hard to not sound that way since I'm angry. But since I don't know her, I don't wish anything bad to or against her. So...I really and truly do wish them luck. And...inside, I'm not as bitter as I sound at the moment. I don't know, everything that keeps coming out of my mouth though, just sounds so bitter and angry. I need to work on that, because it's not healthy.

Y'know the one thing I can't figure out about me though? For some reason, if I say something too bad about him, I feel like I'm obligated to say how he's not that bad. Like, I have to show that I'm not some "crazy ex-girlfriend" out to vilify her ex-boyfriend.

P.S. Sorry this is so long.

hurt that's not supposed to show and tears that fall when no one knows when you're trying hard to be your best could you be a little less

Since the stupidest things make me cry and these would be things that have absolutely no tie whatsoever to the relationship, I've decided that I really don't want any of the reminders that I have of my failed relationship. The emotional reminders are bad enough...why would I want the physical ones? I've got to figure out what to do with the following:
.:. a limited edition metallic rose Nintendo DS's the one with the paw print on it and came with Nintendogs Best Friends edition...
.:. a customized Build-a-Bear and super adorable (but, again, it's a constant reminder of something I really can't stand to be reminded of)...a couple of more stuffed animals...
.:. The Wizard of Oz, Disney's Sleeping Beauty Platinum Edition and Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End 2-Disc Limited Edition on DVD...
.:. Carrie Underwood "Carnival Ride"...Alicia Keys "As I Am"...and a whole bunch of other cds (for obvious reasons I can't list them)...
.:. an adorable Disney's Cinderella clock...
.:. the softest, most comfortable fleece blanket...Disney's 101 Dalmatians are on it...
.:. It Had to Be You: the Gossip Girl Prequel by Cecily von's a hardcover book...
.:. and then a few other things...
Umm, yeah...I think it's a bit obvious that I like Disney...::sigh::...and also a bit obvious that he was really sweet and spoiled me... But I don't know what to do with any of it...I don't want it, but I don't want to throw it away either...

I mean, c'mon...I feel stupid because last week on my way to bio, Paula DeAnda's "Walk Away" came on the radio and the song made me almost start crying! (By the way I was going to just embed the video, but that's been disabled by that's why it's just a link to the video ::shrugs::) Ya can't blame me for wanting to be rid of any and all tangible reminders when random songs on the radio cause me to tear up.

And then Friday morning, when I was trying to get ready for class, he randomly sent me an IM to ask me how my dad was doing. Instantly, I regretted that I hadn't blocked his screenname like I'd been thinking about (my reasoning for doing so wasn't to stop him from contacting me, it was because I obsessively check his stuff, it's so not healthy or helping me move on... and by "obsessively," I meant like once, maybe twice, a day). Of all the people he could possibly ask (my 20 y/o brother, my dad himself, etc.) to see how my dad is doing, why did he have to ask me after not talking to me [conversationally] in more than a week? It's not that I want him to leave me alone...but...I can't handle the confusion when he randomly talks to me when he's supposedly avoiding me... Obviously, I nearly started crying again when he wouldn't leave me alone and kept asking me questions about my dad. ::sigh:: I guess, in a roundabout way, this would be the explanation to Friday's post.

I'd originally asked him to take physics II with me next semester because I can only take it in the evening and I so don't want to walk to class by myself in the dark. But just to avoid any chance of running into, I arranged my classes so that I'm off campus by 1:00p...the only exception is my orgo I lab (but there's a huge possibility I may not actually have to take it), which starts at 3:00p and is an hour long and then the actual lab portion of it is ~3h long and also starts 3:00p (and I'm not liking that for the majority of the semester, I'll be getting out of lab in the dark ::sigh::). But...even with my lab getting out at 6:00p, I'll still probably never see him since he said he was going to take physics II and that starts at about the same time, but is a few blocks down the street. So I'm good...right?

Because someone wanted to be my friend on Facebook, I logged in (late Friday night). I wish that I hadn't. The first thing that I saw on the Updates, or whatever it's called, list was that he was no longer listed as "single" and the two comments left pretty much made jumping to the conclusion that he's dating someone else a logical one. It's not that I expected him to stay single for a long time...but I didn't expect him to start dating someone new less than a month later. More than seeing that he's possibly dating someone new, I wish that the thought of it didn't make me cry. But the reason the thought of it makes me cry is that now I question the last few weeks we were together...because he was so quick to accuse me of cheating on him (those exact words never came out of his mouth, but his behavior and words pretty much said it), yet he was the one who was supposedly at work for up to 12 hours a day on Saturdays and Sundays and therefore unable to see me on the weekends. So, now...I wonder if I was being an idiot and he was already dating someone else before he broke up with me?

I just wish that I'd never dated him in the first place. Then I never would have gotten hurt. I'm not saying that I'd necessarily be any happier...but I wouldn't be hurt, I wouldn't have been hurt in the worst way possible. The way that scares me someone I trust.

Monday, November 17, 2008

don’t you know I've tried and I've tried to get you off my mind but it don’t get no better as each day goes by

Seriously, what the hell was I thinking?

I wanted a guy's perspective on why I'm only getting platonic attention from guys lately, so I asked the one guy that I'm "friends" with, but I know does not want anything more than friendship ever from me. Yeah...I think he hates me, because it was a disaster (okay, maybe I'm overreacting...nah, there's a real chance that I'm overreacting). I know that he doesn't like me, so I figured maybe he could help me figure out what's wrong with me. Instead he took it as an opportunity to tell me everything that went wrong with our relationship. I didn't ask him to meet me so that we could get into a fight. Honestly. That wasn't my intention...if it had been, then I would have been meaner. I wouldn't have been accidentally mean as a defense mechanism. I didn't even want to discuss anything that had to with us. I know it's over, I can't do anything about that, so asking questions and talking about it isn't going to's just going to make it worse (for me, at least).

I stupidly asked him before leaving when he stopped loving me, if he ever did at all (meaning if he ever loved me). And the answer he gave to the question pretty much contradicted what he had told me less than 30 minutes before...and made my belief about him being a liar even stronger.

Hence, me thinking I made [one of] the biggest mistake of my life by asking him to help me figure out what's "wrong" with me.

Oh, and learn?

Sunday, November 16, 2008

I've been waiting a long time now now here's the answer you're all mine now yeah I've been waiting for my Sunday girl

Today's horoscope from Cosmo says...
Libra - Deceptive Neptune may skew your normally sharp perspective today. Ask direct questions to learn someone's true feelings.
So...what is that supposed to mean? I realize that I'm probably doing something really stupid by planning a tentative get-together with the ex for tomorrow evening. But it's just is what you make of it. If you read too much into it, then you'll probably go crazy, right?'s snowing outside today!! And it stuck!! Boooo!!! I know, it's the middle of November and I live in snow is a perfectly logical form of precipitation at this time of year. But, y'know what, that doesn't mean that I have to like it. I hate snow and winter with a passion. And until I find a cute, sexy (and I can't leave out good) man to cuddle up with, I'm thinking that I'm going to continue to hate this time of year.

Friday, November 14, 2008

my heart still has a beat but love is now a feat as common as a cold day in LA sometimes when I'm alone I wonder is there a spell that I am under Cosmo horoscope for today says...
Libra - If you're considering redoing your pad, the versatile Moon suggests that you use your imagination — like creating your own artwork or buying a bright slipcover for your couch.
I kinda sorta caused my horoscope to come true today. I didn't do any redecorating per se...but I did restructure some things in my life. If only because I felt forced to. An explanation will come next week. Sorry.

My bio teacher annoys me because she so cannot use a computer. I mean don't get me wrong, I'm sure the woman is a perfectly nice person...but I can totally understand a previous student felt that she "makes Hitler look sweet." Yes, that's a direct quote from one of her former students. She told us that a former student wrote that on the course evaluation. Okay, now I can understand feeling that way about her, but I don't understand the urge to write it on the course eval. Umm...I guess, I should say why she annoys me, shouldn't I? She always has trouble posting stuff on Blackboard...but none of my other teachers seem to have any trouble. Not even my seemingly computer illiterate orgo I lecture teacher!!

Anyway...since I don't think I ever mentioned it yet, last week I got a stupid jury duty notice. Thankfully, the dumb thing isn't on a test day. There's a really good chance that I should get out of it though...and not just because I listed all the ways it totally interferes with my finals. Seriously, if only I could just not show up for it...but then I would be in contempt of court. Ugh...

I know you want what's on my mind I know you like what's on my mind I know it eats you up inside I know you know you know you know

Here's the weekly round-up of what I found interesting the week of November 17th:
.:. Ugh...this is just disgusting, his own children, too. I really hope that their mother was unaware, otherwise she's worse than their dad.
.:. I don't know what to say other than to use the actual headline: Suspects Wanted in 'Cowardly' Assault...tsk tsk, I hope they found whoever did it...
.:. That's a lot of pot...
.:. Umm...aren't Christians supposed to be kind to one another? Like, especially the monks? Not fighting one another at Jesus' tomb.
.:. Aww, how makes you wonder what else was going on that an 8y/o felt compelled to murder his father...
.:. Yay! Now the lowly, little stick is part of the Toy Hall of Fame...umm, actually that really isn't exciting.
.:. Umm, ew. Check out #8.
.:. The new natural wonders...
.:. This part amuses me the most:
"Deep-water octopuses worldwide, he pointed out, lack the ink sack that allows their shallow-water cousins to shoot out a camouflage screen.
After all, if they live where it is dark, ink is unnecessary, said O'Dor, a Canadian member of the research team."
Like, duh!
.:. Hooray! Even after being blinded mid-flight, still landed safely!!
.:. ::shudder:: Just creepiness....three dead bodies?!?
.:. Just craziness...running with a rabid animal attached to arm...
.:. This is why people should not let massive amount of money go to their heads...
.:. Haha, the dog managed to drive the car...actually that's not really funny because it could have been really bad...
.:. Strange...just glad that I don't live near this "musical" road...
.:. Seriously, now...requesting sleepovers? And people are actually allowing it?!?
Sorry, all the serious newsy stuff went first, then the happier stuff...y'know, sadden you, then make you happy? Makes sense, right?

And now for some amusement from Overheard in New York...

She Actually Gave Him Cash--She Just Gets a Cheap Thrill Out of Alliteration
Hobo: Spare some change?
Girl: you can go buy booze? Keep dreaming, bucko.
-- Times Square

Nah. Do What You Want--and Take the Consequences
Well-dressed balding father: I could honestly care less.
Shaggy haired teen: You're my father! You're supposed to care if I'm failing out of school and doing drugs!
Well-dressed balding father: Nope, not interested.
Shaggy haired teen: You have to care! I can't believe this s***!
-- Bleeker & Broadway

Kindly Old People Really Give Us Hope
Grandpa: Do we really have to take them to the f***ing zoo?
Grandma (holding a pamphlet about the zoo): Look, this is the stupid s*** that they're into, so this is where we gotta go.
Grandpa (pointing to a picture in the pamphlet): What the f*** is that? A chipmunk?
Grandma: It's a f***ing rabbit!
-- St. Mark's Place, Staten Island

Tonight on Ninja Mom
Mother wagging finger, scolding son: I'm very disappointed in you!
Six-year-old son: Mommy, don't get mad at me, we were only trying to break each other's bones.
-- W11th St & 7th Ave

Four-year-old girl: Look at my new purse.
Six-year-old boy: Yeah, so?
Four-year-old girl: It's Prada.
Six-year-old boy: I don't think that's a Prada purse.
Four-year-old girl: But it's pink...
Six-year-old boy: Yeah, but I don't think that makes it Prada.
Four-year-old girl (very sadly): Oh.
-- Henry St & Pierrepont St, Brooklyn Heights

Ask a Stupid Question...
Professor: So what do you think of when you think of "paternalism"? Anyone?
Student: "Maury"?
-- City College

Wednesday One-Liners Aren't Just Poor, They're Po'
Horny dude (after being rejected by a girl at the bar): I asked her if she wanted a drink and she gave me the look that I give to homeless people on the subway.
-- 79th & Broadway
...and there are five more one liners...

Little People--Big Wednesday One-Liners
Drunk guy with group of friends: I'm sorry I hit you, I thought I was Irish and you were four feet tall.
-- 41st & 2nd Ave
...and there are five more one liners...

Thursday, November 13, 2008

anytime you want to pick up the telephone you know it ain't nothin' to drop a couple stacks on you want it you could get it my dear

My Cosmo horoscope for the day of November 12th says...
Libra - Single? Don't shy away from a slightly younger guy. He might light your sexual fire under bold Venus. Attached? Score points with a sexy striptease tonight.
Umm...yeah...I don't really want a younger guy. I'd rather go for a guy the same age or just a few years older (no more than five)... And then...the Cosmo horoscope for today says...
Libra - One of your coolest traits is watching out for your friends. Today, appreciative Venus says to be kind to yourself and indulge your favorite guilty pleasure.
I'm liking the one for today a lot more than yesterday's because helping out my friends is always a good thing...but apparently, I didn't really read it because it says to be a spoiled brat. Nevermind, I don't like it so much anymore...

And y'know what is awesome? When you have a song playing in your head (and no, I am not crazy)...and then you get into your car and that very same song is on the radio.

Seriously, what's wrong with the kids at Lamphere? Two bomb threats in two days?

Okay...well, I have to go print out my orgo stuff for lab...and still have to eat some lunch...oh, yeah, and I have to make my hair not look like a rat's nest cuz that's pretty much what it's looking like right now. Ciao!!

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

so save your scissors for someone else's skin my surface is so tough I don't think the blade will dig in save your strength save your wasted time

Yesterday morning in my orgo class, one of my classmates grabbed my arm because he saw a cut on my arm and wanted to know how I did it (how they got there isn't important). Usually I'm pretty good about keeping my arm covered up so that people don't ask questions...but yesterday I was really fidgety because I was so tired and having a hard time focusing, so my sleeve ended up raised a little. Now, mind you, the cuts in question are tiny (the larger one is at most 2cm and the smaller is nearly gone because it's almost completely healed). There's only two of them really close to one another, but I think maybe it looked worse than they really are because Monday evening I had a Band-aid® on and my skin is sensitive to the adhesive on bandages, so all around the cuts was really red and rash like. And since the bandages make my skin red I don't like to use them if not necessary, but if I don't have a bandage on, people say something to me...::sigh:: It's a no win situation for me.

At least, I don't feel like this anymore. Well...not for the same reasons anymore. There's an entirely new set of reasons...but that's a whole 'nother rant that I really don't want to get into.

But what I do want to get into is, is that I have something that I really can't keep bottled up anymore...but I don't know how I can talk to anyone about it because I promised someone that I wouldn't tell anyone about it. I don't think/feel that this specific person kept any of the promises that s/he made to me, but if I break my promise to him/her then I would feel wrong in doing I don't know what to do. What would you do if you were me? Thanks in advance...

Monday, November 10, 2008

if you are what you say you are a superstar then have no fear the camera's here and the microphones and they wanna know

My youngest brother went off to 6th grade camp this morning. Woohoo!! He's gone for three days!! Seriously though, I hope the kid has fun (and that he behaves because he's gonna regret it big time if he gets in trouble at camp!).

My third bio test was this afternoon...and walking out of there I wasn't too sure how I did. But when I checked the answer key when I got home, I was happy to see that I got a B+. Hopefully, there's at least one question that 70+% of the class got wrong so that she adds a point to everyone's score...then I might end up with an A on my test. I can't really complain about my score though because I only "studied" for all of 40 minutes or if I'd actually studied, I probably would have gotten every question right as opposed to making a few stupid mistakes. Oh, well...

Friday, November 7, 2008

why does it always seem that every time I turn around somebody falls in love with me this has never been my sole intention

My Cosmo horoscope for today says...
Libra - Single? Your affectionate nature could capture an extroverted cutie's attention. Attached? Showing interest in his favorite recreation inspires affection under loving Venus.
And who would that said cutie be? Cuz I don't really think that there are any guys taking more than a platonic interest in me lately... I mean, unless you count the random men on the streets of Midtown Detroit...and I'm not!

First, there is a special political weekly round-up (for those of you living under a rock, since that's gotta be the only way you've made it to Friday and don't know that Barack Obama was elected the 44th president of the U.S.A.):
.:. Ann Nixon Cooper, the woman mentioned in Sen. Barack Obama's acceptance speech of the presidency...even Sen. John McCain's concession speech was pretty good.
.:. "Yes we can" "Yes we did" It would have been pretty awesome to have been in Grant Park on Tuesday night...don't you agree?
.:. Yay for being young and voting (in record numbers, too)!!
.:. Aww, the little Obama girls are so adorable!! Sleepovers, puppies and family dinners with the new First Family...
.:. SNL's Best Presidential Moments (from E! online)
.:. A backwards step for gay rights in California (and gigantic discrimination in Arizona, Arkansas and Florida)...

Here is the weekly round-up of what I found interesting this week:
.:. Yay! There's a possible benefit to all the stupid migraines that I suffer from!!
.:. Eeep! That's a lot of money...$50,000 for an original sketch of Winnie the Pooh.
.:. Umm...yeah, being drunk and thinking you're driving your car, not gonna get you off for stealing a car...
.:. Aww...poor kid, poor family...what an awful Halloween...

And here's some Twilight related stuff:
.:. Rate-a-Trailer
.:. another movie clip and the video for Paramore's "Decode"
.:. Vanity Fair has a bunch of pics and an essay
all Twilight links are from E! online

Some amusement from Overheard in New York...

Hey, I Saw the Crude Sketches in the Boys' Restroom Way Before That
(class is watching a science video)
Scientist in the video: The problem with the big bang is that we know nothing about it. We don't when it banged, why it banged, how it banged, what exactly was being banged...
(entire class laughs)
Smart-a** student: See, when a man loves a woman...
Smarter-a** student: Please, as if you didn't just learn that last year in bio!
-- Stuyvesant High School

As Is Required by US Law
Mother: I'm so glad you want to learn about voting!
Five-year-old girl, to employee: Where are your books about Joe Biden?
(ten minutes later)
Five-year-old girl, screaming at the magazine rack: I want the magazine with the lady from TV on it!
Mother: Use your indoor voice. You know what her name is.
Five-year-old girl: But...I love Oprah.
-- Barnes & Noble, 86th & Lexington

Thursday, November 6, 2008

don't call me even if I should cross your mind hard enough I don't need to hear your voice on my messages let's just call it quits

Why? I mean, seriously...why can't he just pick one? Either completely ignore me or be my friend. But don't talk to me out of the blue to tell me that you had a dream about me. Especially a dream about the following:
putting pictures on my MySpace of me and another boy kissing and having my MySpace say that I was in a relationship
After he said that to me, I tried to ask him why he even told me about that. But it just appeared as though he was ignoring me...more realistically though, he was probably doing something work-related. The only other thing he said was something about going back to avoiding me (about 10-15 minutes later) and then an explanation of that statement because I asked when he was doing that.

I wish that he could understand that by saying what he did this morning, he really confused me and at the time upset me. When he said that to me and then wouldn't tell me why he even said that to me, all I was thinking was, "why can't he just leave me alone?" I've been confused all day long... It sucks.

But...I have to go do my bio homework on Blackboard...

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

if someone said three years from now you'd be long gone I'd stand up & punch them out cuz they're all wrong I know better cuz you said forever & ever

[update 1:44p - I meant to post the blue text also, but ran out of time before class this morning. So technically, this is a repost of the post from this morning (which is no longer there).]

So...if he and I had still been together, it would have been three years today. Can you believe that? That's a really long time.

If I'd known what the ensuing three years would have been like, I really don't think I would have told him that I'd changed my mind. The last three years weren't worth it. And that's not my broken heart talking (okay, maybe it is, but that doesn't change anything about how I feel). Yeah, I loved him, and I still do...but, there was just too much hurt. And letting someone get close to me just to hurt me over and over again wasn't worth it. I feel like I made the biggest mistake of my life...and when he talks to me or looks at me, he makes it kind of obvious, he thinks so, too. At least, that's the impression that I got when I saw him on Sunday.

I even half-wish that the last three years hadn't even happened. I don't mean everything that happened to me in the past three years, because not all of it was bad. But I wish the events on few specific days had never happened. For example, I wish that October 06, 2006 had never happened... Maybe if 10/06/06 had never happened, then we never would have made it to this past August when he told me to "give [him] the rings back and get the f*** out of his car." Maybe we never would have made it past the end of 2006...? Who knows what would have happened? What's done is done and I can't change the past...much as I would like to at this point in time. Pondering 'what-ifs' isn't a great idea...but at least I'm not sad about it. Surprisingly.

My only (okay, well, the biggest) lingering thought now is: has he sold those rings yet? Y'know, the ones in the following picture:
::sigh:: I'm sure that I'll never know the answer to my question because he no longer seems to be talking to me except for when he needs something from me. It's no wonder that I feel used by him. Well...that's not really true, because he is still talking to seems to go better as long as it's online and he doesn't actually have to deal with me. It's just that...when he talked to me on both Saturday and Sunday (trying to arrange when he could drop off the money to me)...I don't know... I don't want to say it because I've already said enough negative things that I look childish and well as insecure and other unflattering characteristics.

And then there's this (quite possibly irrational) feeling that I have that he ended things just to have more time to spend on himself, as well as to spend more money on himself. Considering in the last two weeks, he's spent a little over $500 on himself on "toys." Oh, but when he asked me how much WSU's tuition/books for a semester is and I told him how much this semester is costing me...he said that he probably wasn't going to be able to afford it. And he wondered why I think that he's irresponsible...? Whatever...not my problem...never was. Apparently, he's just doing the same thing he's done in the past...get rid of the b****y girlfriend, buy himself whatever "toy(s)" he wants...

Just to avoid any reminders of him...I put everything he ever gave me into a box. I don't have a clue what I plan to do with it. Right now, it's just been sitting at the foot of my bed for the last few days. I had thought of just giving it all back to him...but, seriously, what would he want with it? Some of that stuff is such girly stuff that he bought for me just because. But I had to remove any reminder I had of him...otherwise, it's going to be ever harder for me. Like I need that.

Monday, November 3, 2008

cuz you're hot then you're cold you're yes then you're no you're in and you're out you're up and you're down you're wrong when it's right

My Cosmo horoscope for today says...
Libra - You like to analyze everything, but sensitive Mars suggests that you might be better off if you let your heart rule your head regarding a personal decision today.
I don't think I like this prediction...overanalyzing sounds good to me. Besides, letting my heart rule sounds like a bad idea right now. It's currently broken, remember?

Today, my new sweater and shoes that was a happy thing. But my other new sweaters won't be here for a while...that's saddening.

And I wish my mom would hurry up and figure out the insurance sitch for my stepdad's insurance because it's been almost a month of no coverage for me (my mom's insurance quit covering me at midnight on my 23rd birthday, meaning that it stopped at 12:00:00 am on October 05, 2008). And I'd really like to have insurance...I can't guarantee my safety forever. I am a big klutz, remember? I managed to trip off the front porch and sprain my ankle three years ago...I've been to the ER for my lumbar and cervical (that's the neck for anyone perverted) regions in the last couple of years, too. So...y'know...a lack of coverage for me really isn't the best of ideas...

All's really late, I have to get up, I still have to do some more of my homework before I can go to Ciao!!

Sunday, November 2, 2008

she got me speedin' in the fast lane pedal to the floor mayne tryna get back to her love best believe she got that good thang she my little hood thang

::sigh:: I know it's probably a bad idea because I've wanted to major in biology forever (like since 9th, no joke)...but I'm really thinking that I want to change my major. And all just to avoid one, possibly two, math classes. Seriously, I suck at math. Changing my major is not going to affect the amount of chem that I have to take, so obviously that's not a factor in wanting to change my major (the chem req is premed). I like biology, and I didn't choose to major in bio because I thought it would help me get into med school. Actually, if anything, being a bio major is going to be a hindrance because med schools see so many bio and chem majors that the people who majored in something else are refreshing to see. But anyway, I digress, I wanted to major in bio because I like science and I like the biological sciences the most. So, duh, it made sense.

But now, I want to give up on bio because there is no way I can take stats over again (it's looking like I may be taking that over again)...and I really don't think that I can pass with calc II with a decent grade. Hopefully, I can talk to the bio advisor and university advisor during dual advising either this week or next week and get that figured out...because I will probably cry if I have to take stats over again. Especially now that I don't have anyone to help me with the class. And I know that I'll cry when I finally take calc II...since the only person I know who was willing to help me, I have no way of contacting because the ex doesn't talk to me unless he needs something from me.

But...since psych is my second choice in terms of interest, I'm thinking if I seriously want to change my major, then I'm changing it to psych. I mean, c'mon...I've already taken enough psych classes that it wouldn't take me very long to fulfill the requirements of the degree. And then I would just re-apply to WSU after graduating with my bachelors in psych to get my premed prereqs post-bac (and this is only if I don't complete the prereqs before graduating). See...I've got it all figured out... Of course, I just came up with that plan in the last 15 minutes, so obviously it's not all that well thought out. And I only came up with the plan of changing my major because I wanted to see if I could minor in psych, but apparently it's not an option.

And totally unrelated to my education rant...the other day, I was listening to the radio (probably driving over to my dad's house), and Big Boy, the evening dj on 955, said that Plies sounds like the guy in the Hooked on Phonics® commercials before Hooked on Phonics®. It was amusing and made me giggle...but it's nearly midnight, and I have to get up at 7:00/7:30a. So...night all!!