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As of February 23, 2012, I have a very sweet, very cute little boy. Baby PGS is my world now.

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Monday, November 24, 2008

this is it now everybody get down this is all I can take this is how a heart breaks you take a hit now you feel it break down make you stay wide awake

Okay, I want to try this whole having a boyfriend thing again. The only problem is...I want the stupid jerk that broke my heart (I just don't know if I want him because I still love him or for some other reason). So, yeah...I'm thinking that my judgement isn't the best. Plus, my track record isn't the best when it comes to picking who I date. If we look at the last two guys I dated (since that goes back a little more than three and a half years), we can see that both were pot smoking, coke heads. And one of them may still be, but seeing how I never spoke to him again, I wouldn't know. So, umm, yeah...I apparently have a bit of a thing for drug addicts...and that's really not a good thing.

This leads me to the conclusion that I should leave who the next person I date is up to my friends (and only my friends with good judgement, not the friends who also date losers like I do!). The only guys that I'm allowed to choose for myself are the ones that aren't going to mean anything, so they can't hurt me. So in other words: friends with benefits...but I'm really not the type of girl that can handle that kind of relationship. Don't get me wrong, as long as both of the people involved in the relationship feel okay with what's going on, then good for them (meaning that I don't think that two people have to be in a monogamous/dating relationship with one another to have sex with one another). But as for me, personally, I can't do it, I'm not comfortable with it.

::sigh:: I'm sick of the emotional bipolar disorder. One moment, I feel as though I'm over him (the ex) and almost completely, too...and then another moment, I feel as though my heart as been ripped out all over again. Obviously, I need to move on, because he has already and even told me that he did before the relationship had ended (like, a few weeks ago he told me this, maybe even a week ago).

1 comment:

  1. Hey! I think it's great that you are aware of your dating patterns (ex. dating drug addicts). That's always the first step.