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As of February 23, 2012, I have a very sweet, very cute little boy. Baby PGS is my world now.

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Monday, September 14, 2009

she wants to go home but nobody's home that's where she lies broken inside has no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes broken inside

I think it's pretty s***ty that I had to find out about a family (and I use the term "family" pretty loosely since I don't seem to count anymore) thing on facebook. Yet, when my 21y/o brother didn't live in the house, my mom would always call him to make sure that he knew about stuff and was going to make it. But nobody bothered to tell me about a family dinner for my grandpa's birthday...I had to find out about it by reading about it hours after the fact on facebook by seeing my mom's status update. Awesome, huh?

And then earlier tonight, I had to go over my mom's house for something...and the only person remotely happy to see me was Chance, not even a person. The f***ing puppy was the only one who even cared to see me. My mom only wanted to see me so that she got her f***ing money (there goes my tuition money, hope she's happy about that)...and my 12y/o brother didn't even say two words to me. I think he talked in my direction, but it was more to the dog than it was to me.

I really just want to know when, if ever, I'm going to get over this need for love and acceptance from my family... Because this seeming unwant and unlove from them is killing me. I can't handle it. The toxic relationships I have with my family members... I just don't know what to do anymore...