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As of February 23, 2012, I have a very sweet, very cute little boy. Baby PGS is my world now.

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Friday, May 30, 2008

it's not like you to turn away from all the bulls*** I can't take it's not like me to walk away

EEEE!!!! Someone else has to get the dirty laundry out of the giant laundry basket that's under the laundry chute...because I refuse to!! There's a giant centipede in it!! I nearly started crying... I might have a nervous breakdown if I attempt to deal with the laundry on my own...and I'm not kidding. I can't handle insects...arachnids...centipedes/millipedes...I freak out and cry. I admit it and am not ashamed of that fact that I become a big baby...okay, well maybe a little bit ashamed that I turn into a crying mess over a teeny, tiny bug. But not ashamed about nervous breakdown associated with the bigger, creepier ones (think centipedes/millipedes, spiders, especially some of those Amazon rain forest species -- which thankfully I have never had to deal with in life ::shudder::, etc.).

::sigh:: I don't think that our fridge is's not keeping things cold. How totally crappy is that? Last night when I got home from watching the girls I put my lemonade in the fridge and then a little while later I got it back out to drink it with my my food and it was warmer then, than it was when I put it in the fridge. This sucks a lot. ::sigh:: We finally have milk...and now it's just going to spoil because the fridge doesn't effing work. Grr... So I just put it in the freezer overnight...yeah, not the brightest thing to do, since I'm pretty sure the freezer half is working just fine... Okay...maybe not...since I just got out my lemonade...and it's still liquid...after nearly 12 hours in the freezer. Oh, boy...just what my parents need to deal with now...

Also...that new (well, pretty new) song "Addicted" by Saving Abel that I like...I finally figured out the other day why I was so confused when I was listening to it a couple of weeks ago and realized just what it's about exactly. The radio/clean edit is slightly less naughty/dirty...replaced lyrics: "when you're rolling 'round with me in between the sheets."

Ugh...last night, the boy had a headache/stomachache...I'm sure it was real. But I really needed someone to talk to...and there was nobody here to talk to, and when I was on the phone with him all he did was get upset with me. I tried not to get annoyed with him, but it was hard when he was getting mad at me. Plus, I wanted a brownie...and he has all of the brownies.

Aww...on my iGoogle page, there is a "How to of the Day" and today's "How to..." made me think of the boy. Today's "How to..." is "How to Upgrade Memory in an Asus Eee PC" that's why it made me think of him. He suggested that I get a pink one... I'm just going to do some online "window" least, I'm about 99% it's just going to be browsing. Although...if I do buy anything, it's most likely going to be something from here...

Thursday, May 29, 2008

they say I need some Rogaine to put in my hair work it out in the gym to fit my underwear Oakley makes the shades that transform the tool

My poor fiancé...Weezer's "Pork and Beans" makes me think of him (and then giggle)... week Kung Fu Panda is released in theatres...and he wants to see it. So...just for him, an exclusive clip of Kung Fu Panda (that so is not exclusive since it was on MSN for millions of people to click on).

Okay...I admit, I did not read this article on Wii Fit...but I started to. least that's not as bad as all those people who start a fitness routine and never finish it, right? Cuz y'know...I was already being lazy by sitting in front of the computer screen...

Californians have to wait until June 17th to apply for marriage licenses...but then their marriages will be recognized in the state of New York. That's pretty awesome. Seriously now...why is it such a big deal if two people of the same sex want to marry one another? Love is love no matter what. C'mon now, with it. what is it with naked people and theft? Ick!! Nekkid maid steals jewelry from a Florida home...nekkid man breaks-in to 10th floor apartment... Blech!! ::shudder::

Ugh...the MLB is being petty...what's the big deal about Little League using MLB team names for Little League teams? Jesus Christ...those kids probably just look up to those overpaid, drugged up athletes anyway...

Ewewew!! I just don't know what to say... Four whores and pimp...but you had to be pretty desperate to call on these girls...

Some not so sunny news about tv...

Bunnylovee: When is The Girls Next Door returning? It ended like five months ago. Come on!
Oh, you are a girl after my own heart. Look for new episodes of The Girls Next Door to premiere later this year, likely in one of the months that end in ber.

Elana: Where is Nip/Tuck?
Look for Nip/Tuck to premiere around the same time as Damages: Early 2009. January, if I had to guess...

Rox: I'm panicked: When is Rescue Me coming back?
Season five of Rescue Me airs in spring '09 (think March-ish), but there will be minisodes coming out later this summer to tide you over!

Kevin in Louisville, Ky.: What is the status on the third seasons of Dirt and The Riches?
According to the network, "No decisions have been made about Dirt and The Riches yet." However, we've heard from at least one source that "Dirt is dead." No telling how these things will play out, but I'm personally not convinced either show will be back on FX for a third season.

courtesy of E! online's Watch with Kristin

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

let's talk about the future let's talk about the wedding let's talk about Gwen Stefani let's talk about how much you like me and all that

I'm bored and lazy...I don't feel like getting dressed...or washing my face...or brushing my hair (luckily that one isn't noticeable)... But at least I finally started on some of the I'm not being a complete bum. Right? Anyway...

Umm...I don't think I like what I read in this article... An estimated $640 more by the end of the year in gas alone. No, thank you...please re-calculate that.

What a ridiculous thing to suspend a bunch of high schoolers for. Honestly, it's not like they hurt anyone (or themselves for that matter)...or like they caused damage to any property. It was a harmless prank. If the school wanted to discipline them, detention would have been plenty...suspension is overkill.

Umm, does Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick realize that he can't veto this one? Seriously, what has the city of Detroit and its politics come to? It's like a comedy of's kind of embarrassing to watch. Oh, well...not my problem.

Yeah...good luck getting that back... What was the customs official thinking? Being overly confident is not going to be a good enough excuse for his supervisor. Very few people are going to be honest enough to return that package to Tokyo customs. I clicked on "15 Simple Ways to Keep Your Partner Happy" because I thought it was going to be a gender neutral wasn't. It was for guys on how to keep their women partners with that in mind... Really, #9 is the best...and then #13 is the second best. All the rest are boring. I think that even in a few years I will still find them boring.

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

'cause you keep me coming back for more and I feel a little better than I did before if I never see your face again I don't mind

Just a random day...

Oh, yeah...I have peanut butter cup brownies for me and the boy!! To totally replace the ones I stupidly dropped on the kitchen floor yesterday. Boo... Anyway...we have brownies for us to eat today. Yays!! I heart brownies!!

Hooray for revising policy!! Too bad it's only for a select few...big families can be fun... Besides, not everyone wants children... Also, on a semi-related note: in a cool, but definitely not cool way...a wedding photographer caught the May 23, 2008 earthquake on camera.

"Despite having a title long enough to fill up the Wii's memory on its own, Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles: My Life as a King is harder to quit than crack cocaine and a real bargain at $15." -- this one sentence alone makes reading (okay, well skimming in my case) the whole article worth it...since reading anything about video games tends to bore me...

Ugh...this is disgusting. How can people do things like that? They're supposed to be working as humanitarian aid workers and UN peacekeepers...not as monsters oops, I mean molesters.

Woo woo!! New record!! Yeah...umm...not the kind of record that people want to be seeing set...

For your enjoyment from Overheard in New York...

Some Headlines Write Themselves.
Guy: Snowboarding is better than skiing.
Girl: Yeah, I don't think I would like skiing. I'm just not good at the whole keeping-my-legs-together thing.
-- 42st Station

The King of Terrors? I Beg to Differ
Mother, to twelve-year-old daughter: Megan! Get back here!
Four-year-old boy: Mommy, Megan is trying to cross the street cuz she hates you.
Mother, bitterly: No, Megan is trying to cross the street because she wants to get hit by a car.
Four-year-old: If you get hit by a car you'd be dead, then you have to go to the hospital.
Mother, despondent: I don't think you even understand death.
-- Broadway

Now Here's a Tissue. You're About to Sneeze
Brunette: I really need to have sex.
Blonde: Well you better do it soon because you're getting your period on Wednesday.
[long pause.]
Brunette: We spend too much time together.
-- 1 Train

You Also Said That About Plastic Sporks
Four-year-old #1: Do you know who Slash is?
Four-year-old #2: Nope. What is it?
Four-year-old #1: He is from the Guns and the Roses.
Four-year-old #2: What's that?
Four-year-old #1: It's dangerous.
-- World Financial Center

We Can Drunk-Dial Daddy at Work!
[Mother and four-year-old boy walking past liquor store]
Mom: So we have to go to Duane Reade and... Oooh! Let's get some wine.
Boy: Yeah!
-- 115th & Broadway

Even If I Am a Cop
Tourist husband with camera: We could ask him. [Points to black man.]
Tourist wife: No, I don't think thats a good idea.
Black man: Listen to your woman, I woulda taken that s*** and run!
-- Times Square

...and one from Overheard in the Office...

11AM And It Took Him Three Days to Get Over It
First-grade teacher: CHARLES! Give me those! Those are NAILS! Nails are unsafe and do not belong in your hands.
Student: Pshhh, unless you're JESUS!
-- New York, New York

Friday, May 23, 2008

oh and it's panic when I'm left oh is it healthy that we met the fears start coming when I forget I always panic

The daily horoscope from Cosmo says:
Libra - Single? Say yes to a drink after work. Matchmaker Venus says that you might click with a guy you meet at happy hour. Attached? You like a 50-50 relationship. Take him for a meal he'll appreciate (meat and potatoes) and he'll satisfy one of your naughty fantasies when you get home.
Hahahaha!!! Yeah, right...doesn't that require him to talk to me first? Obviously, things didn't end so well last night for us. But whatever...I give up... At least I keep telling myself that...but it doesn't seem to be happening, does it?

::sigh:: I keep getting more and more superstitious about things that have to do with our relationship. I realize it's just coincidence, but just sucks that I'll do something that finally gets things back to "normal" and then something awful happens again. I'm just ready to leave things in an indefinite state of unsure...and say 'f*** it.' But that's really not how I feel.

Ugh...I'm attempting to register for my fall classes and I so cannot figure out what to do. I don't want to take Calc II until the boy is taking it and can help me because I sucked at Calc I. I'm thinking about having my transcripts sent a second time just so that I don't have to retake stats...even though I barely passed it. Yes, I know a C is way better than "barely passing." But not in my mind. I'm super hard on myself...I expect perfection. Not so much of others, just of me. ::sigh:: But at least my major is thing out of my way.

Oh, and I didn't really get lost this time. But I am so taking someone with me the next time that I have to go there. Seriously...I need to have some assistance. Only a couple of wrong turns...honestly, it was only two wrong turns today as opposed to the too-many-to-count yesterday that I took.

And now for some amusement from Overheard in New York...

Your Editors Suggest You Read Overheard in New York With a Friend
Hipster: Why are you playing Tetris when you have me to talk to?
Friend, still playing: Shhhh.
Hipster: [Closes friend's phone.]
Friend, looking up: Things like that break up friendships.
-- Broadway & Lafayette

Thursday, May 22, 2008

how do I show you how you make me feel how do I show you how I feel a Monday in Vegas that was real

I swear to god, I'm going to end up killing my 19 y/o brother before one of us moves out of this house. The idiot paused the washing machine before getting in the shower, which in it itself is not a big deal. But what annoys the hell out of me is that after showering, the idiot seems to think that he restarted the washing machine but didn't bother to make sure that he actually pushed the button. So...clothes that I should have just been able to put into the dryer when I returned from my WSU meeting, are still in the washing machine being washed. The kid is a f***ing idiot. Nevermind the fact that you don't even need to pause the washing machine when you take a shower, since all the cycles run with cold water. There will never be a lack of cold water.


Anyway...what I started this post for was to talk about my meeting at WSU. It went pretty well. I'm all set to register for classes...I have to make an appointment with an advisor in the Biological Sciences Department in order to declare my major (bachelors of science in biological sciences)...go to the Welcome Center to get my OneCard...and probably a few other things that I'm not yet aware of... But...I should be ready to apply to medical school in a year. Eep!, that's so close!! Which means...that I need to get studying for that MCAT thingy...cuz I hear it's pretty important.

Oh man...that's not good publicity...and this is so not a case where one can say any publicity is good publicity... But...see? Bad things happen in the suburbs, too. Not just in the big quit with your paranoia.

Okay...not that I'm all for a 10-hour workday (who am I kidding? I want to be a doctor and they have, like, 12-hour shifts!), but this idea sounds like a pretty good one to me. But then again...three day weekends all the time might cause some to dread going to work even more.

::sigh:: Now if only my mom would fill out the FAFSA worksheet... When I got home from the boy's house (more on that in a moment) last night I saw it o the desk and was momentarily cheered up because I saw a pen on it and thought that she'd filled it out finally. But sadly when I looked at it a little later while on the computer, she only got as far as: "xxx-xx-****" under "father's (or stepfather's) Social Security Number" and "***-**-****" under "mother's (or stepmother's) Social Security Number." [The x's represent blanks and the *'s represent numbers (like I'm actually stupid enough to put a real SSN on the internet, HA!)]

So...when I left the boy's house I was in need of some cheering up. I just wish that he'd think how his words are going to be heard before he'd say them sometimes... Because I understand he needs to get sleep, that's not a big deal...but what sucked was the way that he went about saying it. He did a great job of making me feel like he wanted me to leave from the time he got out of the shower...and then it was like 11:30p and he said something that basically sounded like, "you need to leave now." But instead of saying anything to him about it, I just went home. He asked what was wrong but didn't try to push the issue or anything...not like he really could have over the phone...and hasn't said anything to me since yesterday. So, who knows? Maybe today or tomorrow I'll hear something from him? And speak of the devil...he's asking me a question now. Meh, he can read his answer on here.

disturb the destruction I assigned in my mind I'll be find I'll be fine cuz I'm under construction everyone so you'll have to mind the mess

Today is my academic advising meeting at WSU. Woowoo...I'm so excited. Yeah, not really. I'm just tired and don't want to drive down there. It's an icky, overcast day...I don't want to go out. Besides, I have to stop at the bank before I can go there.

My 19 y/o brother annoys me. He turned the tv on as soon as I left the room to put the laundry in the washing machine even though I had music on. Yet he wants me to take him somewhere. Why would I take him somewhere if he annoys me? Well, that and I have to take myself somewhere at a scheduled time.

Donkey arrested in Mexico...weird...

Okay...well, I have to go get dressed and wash my face and such before I can leave for my meeting. Ciao!!

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

there's nothing left to prove there's nothing I won't do there's nothing like the pain I feel for you nothing left to hide nothing left to fear

[insert frustrated scream]

::sigh:: Okay, I'm calm now. Seriously though, my mom is annoying me. Everyday I ask her if she's filled out the purple portion of the FAFSA worksheet so that I can go online and fill out the FAFSA...and everyday I get the same effing answer from her: 'not yet, I need the desk; I'm watching tv right now.' Seriously, what the f***?!? Does she not want me to go to school in the fall? Because if she doesn't fill out the stupid worksheet, that's what is going to happen. And if I have to keep asking her everyday if she filled it out yet, all I'm going to do is annoy her to the point that she's not going to fill it out. Hooray for my mother's stubborn attitude. It's effing great. ::sigh::

Anyway...this amused me highly: wearing only flip flops and a watch a pilot and a flight attendant were caught having a secret rendezvous in the woods in Pennsylvania. Their little affair isn't so secret anymore...

What a smart little birdie...he told the vet his name and address after being found upon getting lost.'s shower time now... Not because I smell bad or anything...just cuz I feel icky. Plus, I need to wake up and a shower would help me do that...I think. I don't know...

Oh, anyway...I want a new tv...not just because of the whole February 2009 switch thingy...but just because I want a bigger tv. And yesterday I was bored and looking at tvs...and decided that I want a pink tv. Like, specifically this pink tv...but since I know nothing about electronics, I kinda need to have someone who knows something about them decide if the pretty pink tv is any good. Oh, and I want a pink tv just because I couldn't find a pretty purple one. There's a Disney Princess one, but it's not big enough. is, but it isn't because I really just watch movies (and sometimes watch tv) and watching movies on a little screen is no fun. The pink tv is just big enough to not be too big to go in my room, but also not be too small for movies.

Anyway...shower time...ciao!!

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

sweet kiwi your juices dripping down my chin so please let me don’t stop it before it begins so give it up and don’t pretend

Grr...I'm I guess that's really the sound of my tummy and not a frustration sound. Holy crap!! The mailcarrier just startled me!! It's only 11:30a and already the mail is delivered...our mail is never here before noon. I don't know what to's making me whiny. That's never a good thing. People hate me when I start whining...I like it better when people like me.

21 things that guys want to hear...well, a few of those I just might be overheard saying to the least I could be overheard saying a few of those if you're one of those creepy, skeezy losers that hangs out peering into people's bedroom windows!! Okay, but seriously though, #20 I would definitely say (or something along those lines) without the eavesdropper needing to be a creepy peeping Tom like person.

As long as you're not doing anything illegal off the can't get fired for your activities. Or so says legislation passed by the MI House of Representatives...just needs to be approved by the MI Senate now.

Seriously...that was just wrong. Using the Quran as a target practice. What was he thinking? Or not thinking?

***Spoiler Alert***

Nelson in Miami: Gossip Girl! Spill it. You know you want to! XOXO!
Newsflash: I'm ridiculously excited for tonight's finale in which Rufus and Lily do the nasty. Lily walks down the aisle with Bart, and they both say Yes. (Scandaloso!) And Georgina will get her comeuppance, which makes me so happy you'd think I actually know the (fake) girl. Speaking of G, I can tell you that the plan has changed and that at this point, at least according to Michelle T and a CW source, there aren't any plans to bring her back. I don't know whether to laugh or cry 'cause I so love Michelle and love to hate Georgina.

Nancy in Pasadena, Calif.: Nip/Tuck?
Christian's getting on the operating table, and that's not the shocking part: It's not for sex! Word is, our sexy doc will only be getting a boob job (pectoral implants).

spoilers courtesy of E! online's Watch with Kristin

Now for some amusement from Overheard in New York...

The Emotional Distress Alone Will Cost You Four-Weeks' Allowance
Little boy #1: I'm going to smash your bike!
Little boy #2: Well, if you smash my bike, I'm going to get a lawyer and sue you!
-- Central Park

Now My Ears Burn When I Pee.
NYU girl, to girl with earplugs: Ew! He put those in his ears and now they're in yours?!
Girl with earplugs: ...He put his penis in my vagina...
-- 4th & Astor

Now on to "Mary Had a Little Cab"
Toddler in grocery cart seat: Do you know any songs?
Toddler in adjacent grocery cart seat (singing): I've been working of the F train, all the live long day, I've been working on the F train just to pass the time away; can't you hear the whistle blowing, rise up so early in the 'morn, can't you hear the captain shouting, "stand clear of the closing doors!"
-- Food Coop, Park Slope

Student: Have you seen the show Freaks and Geeks?
Dean: Yes. It reminds me of all of you!
-- Bard High School Early College

Friday, May 16, 2008

it falls apart from the very start it falls apart seems like everything I touch falls apart everything around me falls apart when I walk away from you

Okay, so Thursday I have an appointment with an academic advisor at Wayne that means that I got my required phone call made yesterday. I'm just a little bit confused as to how exactly I'm supposed to get there. I know what room/building I'm supposed to go to...but I'm not really sure how to get there. Oh well...

Anyway...the boy can start putting pressure on his right foot again. If the boy had even bothered to talk to me (well, really see me...since he did talk at me on the phone) yesterday he might have noticed something, but since he didn't...

I don't watch the girls this afternoon, their mom is able to pick them up. But I did watch them yesterday, which is not a normal day. The younger one is so freaking adorable in her dance costumes!! Plus, she's normally a sweetheart, too. The older one is a pretty great kid, too.

I'm f***ing sick of my 19 y/o brother living here. He takes two or three showers a day "just because." And each time he takes a shower he gets a clean towel. Nobody else gets out a clean towel for every single shower that they take. I can understand not wanting to use the same icky towel after it's been used a bunch of times (a bunch can mean like three or four), but using a towel once and then putting it down the laundry chute is ridiculous. Especially when you take two or three shower every day!! I am so sick of having to do the extra laundry he's creating just so that everyone else in the house has clean towels to use when they go to bathe/shower. Plus, when he gets into the shower he doesn't bother to ask if anyone else needs to use the bathroom before he gets in. Mind you we only have one bathroom for six people. Oh, and he complains about how long I take in there, but he takes even longer than I do. Plus, I don't know what he's doing in there (and quite honestly I don't want to know)...but he always runs the water for at least a couple of minutes before he even gets into the shower. He just wastes a lot of water.

Okay...anyway, as I was going to say before I went off on that tirade... My 11 y/o brother has a soccer game out in Lake Orion or somewhere around there this evening, so my family isn't going to do their normal eat-as-a-family-Friday-night-meal. Instead, they're going to go out to eat tomorrow. We really only eat together once a week. We're not that into family togetherness. Touchy-feely family stuff just isn't how we work. Picking on each other is more like it. But we do it with love.

Oh em gee...I accidentally clicked away from this...and wasn't sure if I'd saved this. But thankfully I had. Phew!! Hooray for the Ctrl+S shortcut cuz otherwise I'd be quite pissy right now. Because trying to recreate all that I hadn't saved would suck.

I need to take a shower and shave my legs since I might be going out tonight. But I really don't feel like it since the dishwasher is still running. Oh, nevermind about the's just on the "drying" part of the cycle...I guess that I could go get in the shower after all...

Thursday, May 15, 2008

wake me up lower the fever walking in a straight line set me on fire in the evening everything will be fine waking up strong in the morning

I have too much to get done. And I'm just procrastinating, too. It's stuff that I have to get done for school...but for some reason don't want to get done. I don't know why, but I don't want to go to school anymore. I'm just burnt out. I'm sick of it. It's not that I don't want to accomplish certain things's just that I'm sick of going to school. ::sigh::

Anyway...I need to shower...and then make at least one phone call... I have to watch the girls this afternoon, but I'm not watching them tomorrow afternoon. This week is all messed up schedule-wise. Oh, well... And it's looking like next week isn't going to be much better...since I'm going to be taking the little one to Auburn Hills for her dance rehearsal on Tuesday. She has a dance recital coming up...and apparently they're rehearsing wherever they can get the space? I have no idea... But she's adorable in her dance costume!! the boy is making me be his guinea pig. Why do I have to test things for him? Meh, it's not really a big deal...he just wants me to test his music thingy for him. Like that's such a bad thing... Okay...nevermind...he has to go back to testing for him...

Okay...shower time!!

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

pedestrian is what I am an understated Samaritan where I go I go alone s long as I am taking my time

::sigh:: least Monday's post didn't jinx things on that day...but yesterday definitely sucked. And I'm not even sure what exactly happened to eff things up like they did. One moment things were fine and then the next things went ka-blooey! ::sigh:: He so confuses me...

The boy and I are supposed to go get pizza for dinner today...but I don't know if I still want to do that. I don't know if he still wants to do that. ::sigh:: I'll probably just eat dinner with my family and then go get him afterwards so that he can get his computer parts with the 12 y/o brother (they've been bonding lately...they're both similar nerdy boys).

Boom Blox is some new game for the Wii that the boy wants that Steven Spielberg is behind...and it looks pretty cute (umm, yeah...those probably aren't the words that the boy would use to describe it, but anyway...). I want to play it...but since I don't like to play video games...I think that I'd only want to play for all of like five minutes and then I would get bored and quit. So it's a good thing that the boy is going to buy it for himself.

Since the boy went and saw Iron Man and loved it (he was willing to go see it again if I wanted to see it, but I just told him I would take my two younger brothers if I went to see it), here's something about the release date of Iron Man 2. Yes, Iron Man isn't even out of theatres yet and already the studios have set the release date for the sequel. Isn't that a bit like counting your chickens before they hatch?

Monday, May 12, 2008

if someone said three years from now you'd be long gone I'd stand up and punch them out cuz they're all wrong I know better cuz you said "forever" and Saturday were good days...but now that I've said that I've probably jinxed it and we're going to fight and no longer be happy... ::sigh:: I still feel confused and unsure...but at least we had a couple of good days in a row and who knows what will happen today? I don't know if we're even going to see each other today...but if we do, I don't know what kind of day it's going to be.

I just think that neither one of us is doing a good job of communicating with the other one lately...we just keep compounding our problems. It sucks. I just...I don't know...I talk to, at him...but I get upset and start to cry, so it makes it hard for him to take me seriously and pay attention (at least from my perspective). I just feel like because of our stupid, incompatible schedules...he has no time for me anymore...and when he does, he just wants to sleep or do something else. He was always tired before...and now he has to get up even earlier... ::sigh:: I...grr, I have no idea what I'm trying to say...just that I'm frustrated and unsure...and, and I don't know what to do anymore. I hate it. I miss how things were.

Saturday, May 10, 2008

is it wrong holding in on too much to my best friend my faded lover who knows Cinderella hope & it's all because he made me laugh coincidence or fate

The daily horoscope from Cosmo says:
Libra - Romantic Venus says that it's a lovely day to get closer to a guy you're smitten with. Invite him for coffee or get cozy on a picnic blanket.
Umm...yeah...I think that would require said guy to even talk to me, which he currently isn't really doing. So I'm not quite sure how taking him and the 12 y/o brother to get haircuts today is going to work...

But anyway...I'm I'm going to look for something to eat...seeing how it's not even 10:30a yet, I can't call the boy to see if he's talking to me and ask if he wants to get food. Besides, the 12 y/o isn't home yet from his I guess when he gets home I'll just have him call the boy for their beauty date (ha, I'm sure they both love me calling it that) and then he and I will go pick up the boy and head over to Lady Jane's for their hair cuts. Now that I am distracted and still hungry...I'm going to get ready for the day...

And now for some amusement from Overheard in New York...

Would It Be Feasible for Me to Throw Myself in Front Of My Own Train?
Conductor: This is a Manhattan-bound number three train; next stop is Sutter avenue-Rutland road; stand clear of the closing doors please.
[Doors close and open again.]
Conductor: Please do not block the doors, stand clear, please.
[Doors close and open again.]
Conductor: Do not block the doors. Stand clear, please.
[Doors close and open again.]
Conductor: For the last motherf***ing time, do not block the f***ing doors! I know you ghetto-a** niggas don't care about school, but some people want to get the f*** to work! Stand clear!
[Doors close and open again.]
Conductor: I can't f***ing take this s***.
-- 3 Train

This Actually Makes Me Want to Have Kids
Eight-year-old brother speaking to four year old brother in high pitched witches voice: First I'll burn you to a black crisp in a huge oven, then I'll start with your flesh...
Four-year-old: What will it taste like?
Eight-year-old brother, without pausing: It will taste like a delicious steak, then I'll eat your teeth and they'll taste like crackers! But your hair, your hair will be completely burned off.
Four-year-old: [Giggles maniacally.]
-- C Train

`•.¸.•´ find magic
¸.•´¸.•´¨) ¸.•*¨) in every moment
(¸.•´ (¸.•´ .•´¸¸.•¨¯`•.♥

Friday, May 9, 2008

I'll keep your memory vague so you won't feel bad about me I'll say the things that you said sometimes so it reminds me

I think the first mistake was letting people in on the fact that I loved him. That just left me open to vulnerability and getting hurt. I don't think that he wanted to ask me to marry him...I think that he just did it because he knew it was what I wanted and was hoping that with time it was going to be what he wanted, too. Just because he says it was because he loved me and wanted to spend the rest of his life with me doesn't mean that he meant it...does it? I don't know anymore...I'm so confused and unsure of things.

The last time I saw him things were bad when I left...and then when I called him the next day it didn't go much better...followed by the next day of him being "distracted," so he didn't call. So...y'know...supposedly we're engaged yet in the last three days or so we've barely talked to one another and when we did talk it wasn't anything more than superficial small talk. That's why I'm so confused and don't know what to think and don't know what's going on anymore. ::sigh::

I feel like a broken record because it just seems like he ignores that I tell him that I feel so uncomfortable around him. And I feel so uncomfortable because it feels as though he's thinking that he has better things to do, better places to be...just anything, anywhere but with me. I just get the impression that when I try to tell him what I'm thinking/feeling, he lets it go in one ear and out the other, as though it's not important enough to listen to.

Thursday, May 8, 2008

welcome to the jungle we've got fun 'n' games we got everything you want honey we know the names we are the people that can find whatever you may need

Happy Birthday, Mommy!! The Guns 'n Roses lyrics are because it's my mom's bday and they're one of her favorite bands. Not cuz I really wanted to use their lyrics.

The 8 things women hate about men...let's see...#'s 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8...yep, I hate all of those things about men.

I still don't know what's going on with the boy and I... It's driving me crazy. I wish that I knew what was going on because I can't handle it for much longer. ::sigh:: I really can't.

Saturday, the boy and my 12 y/o brother are getting their haircut. I guess that I have to take them to Lady Jane's so they can no longer look like shaggy dogs. Oh boy, just what my 6th grade brother needs...some hot chick cutting his hair...

So...the boy is pretty worried about the GRE...but I know that he'll do fine when it comes time for him to take it. Getting into grad school is going to be no problem for him. From what he's told me...Wayne State is where he'd like to go for grad school (computer science, cuz y'know he's a gigantic nerd). And since grad school can be is to get financial aid for grad school.

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

it's all the same hours slide and days go by 'til you decide to come and in between it always seems too long all of a sudden

Hahahaha!!! Nintendo is funny!! They sent me an email with the subject line: "Mother's Day Gift Ideas from Nintendo!" Yeah, like I'm going to buy my mom a Nintendo DS for Mother's Day...for many reasons. The first of which being that she doesn't know how to use it...and the second being that she doesn't have time for it. But nice try, Nintendo.

::sigh:: I hate that if I get annoyed with something the boy automatically yells at me for it. I don't understand why he can't just say something to me instead of falling asleep and expecting me to be thrilled that he fell asleep on me (and I mean, literally on me). He stresses me out...and I didn't mean to, it just happened, but almost as soon as I got out the door I started crying. Not that much, but annoyed me because I couldn't make the stupid tears stop. I hate being so stupid and girly. Especially about some guy...who doesn't even seem to care anymore. I mean, I hear from him that he's just so frustrating... ::sigh::

Tonight, as usual, I'm watching the girls until about 8:15p...I've come to expect it. Every week for the past few weeks their mom has sent me an email on either Monday or Tuesday to ask if I could stay later on Wednesday, so I expect to watch them until about 8:15-8:30p on Wednesdays and then she'll pick them up on Friday (well, every other Friday). I mean, I still plan on having to pick up the girls like I've been asked to, but based on past experience I've come to expect certain things to happen. And...they usually do. dress is expected to arrive 05/15/ Thursday!! That's so far away!! But anyway...I bought this dress (in black) on Monday. Now I just need to get a strapless bra...well, really a bra with removable straps so that I can use clear straps. Since I have this dress (in black), too. And it's not like I can wear either of those dresses without a bra. I call the boy after I'm done watching the girls tonight or no? Because I don't know what to do...

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

you had the best but you gave her up cuz dependency might interrupt idealistic will so hard to please put your indecisive mind at ease

Today's daily horoscope from Cosmo says:
Whether you're single or attached, sensual Mars sends your sexy appeal into the red zone. Consider ambushing your man the moment he opens the door, or practice your seduction skills on a hottie you want to know better.
Umm...hello? He's on crutches...what do they suggest, knocking him over? Cuz that's what would happen if I were to "[ambush my] man the moment he opens the door." Seriously now...what chance does this horoscope have of coming to fruition?

I want to shoot my stepdad! Seriously, what the hell was he thinking when he decided to do laundry? Because now I have to rewash the stuff that he took out of the dryer since he put it in a laundry basket that the cat has peed in. F***ing idiot. Just because he wanted his new quilt clean and couldn't wait an extra day for it. I went downstairs to run the 'Quick Wash' cycle on the towels I put in the washing machine yesterday because I ran out of time and didn't put them in the dryer (they were gonna smell funky if I just went ahead and put them in the dryer today), but when I opened the washing machine I saw the quilt. That's how I learned that my "clean" clothes were in the laundry basket used to put the sorted dirty clothes. Hence the dirt in the bottom of the laundry basket. How stupid do you have to be to put clean clothes into a container with a layer of dirt on the bottom of it? Grr.


Does Jessica Simpson realize how stupid this quote of hers makes her sound? I don't think daddy was around to clean things up for her after she opened up her big, stupid mouth. He was too busy making sure his younger daughter and her bisexual fiancé were getting some sort of press. (I don't think Pete Wentz is bisexual, it's just that there's always some sort of rumor going around)

Poor firstborns...always having to take the blame...always having the strictest rules...hey, wait! I'm a firstborn.

Monday, May 5, 2008

I know I don't know you but I want you so bad everyone has a secret oh, can they keep it? oh no, they can't

Mmm, yummy!! I just ordered Reese's Peanut Butter Cups Fresh From the Factory for him for Hershey' (you can get some gifts for Mother's Day!!). Seriously...the boy better appreciate it. Of course, I think it's just me trying to buy his love since he's always mad at me. I was just going to buy them and have them shipped to his house without telling him about it...but then he was talking to me this morning, so I asked him about it first. ::sigh::

Anyway...I woke up at about 7:45 this morning with a migraine. When I went to bed last night, I was headache. No indication that I was going to wake up with one either. It's not going away. I took my Frova®...and it's not working... This f***ing sucks. I just want to cry. I was hungry, so I tried eating something an hour after I took the medicine...since trying to go back to sleep wasn't helping either.

Grrr...the girls that I watch four days a week are great kids. I like them a lot. I like their mom, too. She's great to work for. I mean, don't get me wrong, I think she can be a little strange, but I also think she's a pretty normal/average parent, too. But working for their dad is currently frustrating!! Mondays are their dad's day...and since school [for me] ended last Monday, I asked him what he wants to do with the schedule and he gave me the vaguest answer possible!!! How the hell am I supposed to know how long he's going to pay me for? Seriously now...he can't expect me to keep track if he doesn't tell me let me in on what he would like, now can he? Okay, I'm done ranting. He's actually a pretty nice guy, too. Just like their times, I think he's a little strange, but he's a pretty normal/average parent. Both of them seem to care a lot about their kids and how they are. The only reasons I have for thinking they're a little strange are that they sometimes do things differently than what I'm used to, that's all. Nothing that's going harm their kids.

Since Mother's Day is coming up on Sunday, May's something that I found about mothers around the world that was interesting.

Something to amuse from Overheard in New York...

Next Time Impede the Investigation in Finnish
[Patrol car flashing lights at curb. Small group of high-schoolers corralled against wall]
Police officer: So what happened--what did you see?
Smart teen: No hablo inglés.
Officer, in perfect Spanish: ¿Entonces, que pasó? ¿Qué viste?
Smart teen: ¡No hablo español!
-- 85th & Amsterdam

Saturday, May 3, 2008

she's beautiful as usual with bruises on her ego and her killer instinct tells her to be aware of evil men and that's what you get for falling again

Today the Cosmo daily horoscope says:
Libra - Single? Your highly charged sexuality might bowl over a cutie you see every day when he notices you in a hot, new light. Attached? Thanks to the passionate Moon, you might feel an erotic rush so intense that you can't be bothered with a bed tonight.
Umm, yeah...I'm really not sure which part of that (meaning the single or attached) pertains to me, but I'm more sure of the unlikely to come true part...

I have no idea whether or not I still have a fiancé, let alone a boyfriend. I honestly don't know what's going on anymore. The only thing that I know for sure is that he is saying one thing to me and his actions are saying something else to me. And I don't think the words are what he really means. It just feels like every day there is something new added to the list of what's wrong with me and why I am such a terrible person. I get it...I'm moody and everyone hates to be around me. Yeah, a majority of the listed things are the same each time...but it just seems like the list is getting longer and longer each time because: [a] he's annoyed by every little thing I do; [b] he's getting bolder and more willing to tell me; or [c] some combination of the two choices. ::sigh:: I'm not sure which...

He just keeps yelling at me over and over and over again for the same things...and then analyzing my behavior and treating me like a small child. He's well aware of the fact that I don't like to be told what to do and do horribly when I'm yelled at...yet somehow he thought that by doing just that it was going to help change my behavior? I don't understand...I don't know what to do...I just... ::sigh:: I guess that's pretty much why I put all of his stuff that I have in my room together as though at any moment he's going to ask for it back... I really don't know what he wants from me anymore. Are we just going through the motions until it becomes unbearable? Because if so, I really don't think that I can handle that...I need to know what's going on...and he doesn't answer my questions, just tells me to change. ::sigh::

Friday, May 2, 2008

here comes the promise of summer let's seal it with a kiss this time I'll do things proper how did we get to this

Today's just kind of a day full of random be amused.

Some things pertaining to relationships...
.:. Why She's Not in the Mood - Cosmo for Your Man
.:. Make Together Time Count - Cosmo for Your Man
.:. Make Her Long for You All Day - Cosmo for Your Man
.:. Promises You Must Keep - Cosmo for Your Man
.:. What You Do to Bum Her Out - Cosmo for Your Man
.:. 25 Fascinating Love Facts
.:. 5 Signs That You've Met Your Perfect Match

Umm, seriously...a $360 billion check? Yeah, right, mister...

Just one of approximately 71% searching online for a diagnosis...

See...wasn't that fun?

Anyway...tonight is family dinner night...y'know, the one night a week where my family actually eats together as opposed to in separate rooms and at separate times. Hopefully, we don't go somewhere crappy...or somewhere with a smoking section!! I hate sitting in the smoking section more than anything!! Well, okay, it's not at the top of my list of hated things...but it's very close. I hate smelling like smoke. It grosses me out.

Thursday, May 1, 2008

pain without love pain I can't get enough pain I like it rough cuz I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all

Boo!! I got two Cs this semester. The boy keeps blaming, well partially blaming, himself for one of the two Cs...but I don't blame him. He tried...not very help me, I'm just not a very good student. Especially not one-on-one.

Where is my 11 y/o brother? Seriously, the kid had a half day's now let out at 12:12p...and he's still not home yet. Where is he?

Anyway...I was expecting to get a B in my Spanish class, but I got an A in there. So I was pleasantly surprised. ::sigh:: I had a 3.72 g.p.a. and now I have a 3.59 g.p.a. So...I guess the two stupid Cs didn't screw up my cumulative g.p.a. too much. Only 1/10 of a grade point. Okay, I'm done obsessing over my grades. Really, I am...

Ugh...somehow I hurt my foot last night, and it's driving me crazy!! Like, seriously...I can't figure out how to make the pain go away!! Now don't think I'm being a big baby, especially after the times that I've complained about the boy's lack of pain tolerance. What I'm complaining about is the fact that there's a constant pain from my toe that goes up my leg to about the lower third of my shin and then dissipates. And has been like since about 7:30 this morning when I woke up for no reason other than my body no longer wanted to sleep. I was really tired and sleepy when I came home last night, so I think that I just tripped over something. Okay...moving on...just to take my mind off it...maybe that will help...

Oh, Wednesday is going to be a lo-o-o-ong day. Like, to the point that I should probably take a nap when I get home around 1:00p. Otherwise I just may fall asleep at about 9:00p because I have to get up at about 6:00a since I have to be in West Bloomfield at 7:30a. But the little boy is adorable...I want one... But y'know, sometime in the four, five years...