Pages

My photo
As of February 23, 2012, I have a very sweet, very cute little boy. Baby PGS is my world now.

Baby PGS tickers

Lilypie Second Birthday tickers Lilypie Breastfeeding tickers

Baby S. #2

Lilypie Maternity tickers

Monday, December 12, 2005

but there's still tomorrow forget the sorrow when I can be on the last train home watch it pass the day as it fades away no more time to care

I am SO ready to move out of my house. I can't deal with someone avoiding me as though I have the plague for almost a week. I am seriously considering moving back into my dad's house or moving into my grandma's house. Either one of them is going to let me live my life as I want to and not treat me as though I am a child. If I had money, I would move out and into an apt. with a friend or friends. Too bad I don't have any money. And the only way I can think of getting enough money is to whore myself...and that is SO not a viable option. I need a full-time job. What I need is for my stepfather to realize I am not f***ing 6 years old anymore and I am an adult. Just let me be an adult. You can't expect me to behave like a responsible adult if you're going to give me childish limitations, such as a curfew. I can't deal with this anymore. One stepparent already succeeded in pushing me away, I don't need the other one to do it also. I can't deal with it anymore.

[originally posted on my MySpace blog]

Thursday, December 1, 2005

and in the morning I'm out of my head I wish I was sleeping in your hospital bed give me some time to get on your mind

So...I was a major klutz this morning...I managed to twist my ankle on my way to school this morning b/c I was in a hurry. I felt the crunch, but couldn't hear it b/c of the garbage truck on my street. And I did the most intelligent thing afterwards...I went to school instead of turning around and going back inside and telling my mom I had just hurt myself and should probably see a doctor. I went to school and ran around on it for 4hrs and then even when I got home, I wouldn't go to the doctors'. I only went b/c my mommy made me and made my 17 y/o brother drive me to the hospital. So...yeah...I'm a klutz.

[originally posted on my MySpace blog]

Sunday, November 13, 2005

you could have been all I wanted but you weren't honest now get in the ground you choked off the surest of favors

I'm home from Kalamazoo and Mini-Honors now...got picked on by K**** and C**** again...if anyone knows the myth of Lilith, I was called Lilith a few times this weekend...and I am so not Lilith...met the sweetest, most naive girl this weekend...no joke she asked if in Detroit there were streets that you would get shot at for driving on them and if they really shot over the freeway all the time...in her defense, she grew up in Iowa and now lives someplace in Michigan where her school (Montcalm in Sidney) is surrounded by a corn field...my thighs are killing me now (really shouldn't have been doing the limbo...I got pretty far...until I purposely fell)...I learned how to play Texas Hold 'Em (didn't do too bad...won a few times...but it wasn't for money)...didn't make it up to my hotel room before 4am (4am on Friday night 4:30 am on Saturday night) either night, so...I'm pretty exhausted right now...but I'm wired too...so there is a huge possibility that I will still be awake at midnight...if you want to know anything more about my weekend, just ask...I'll probably tell you...especially the part about playing doctor...

[originally posted on my MySpace blog]

Wednesday, November 9, 2005

and it was true that I was truly failing but you were gone and I was home calling around but nothing was found worthwhile

I have a job now...Limited Too in Somerset...I start sometime next weekend b/c I am going to be gone this weekend and can't make it to the training session. But I do get paid for the orientation thing I went to this afternoon.

My stepdad is so pissed at me right now...he is not acknowledging me currently. I'm 20 years old, what is the big deal if I don't come home until the next morning? It's not like I did anything stupid while being out all night. I was a good girl. I hate the double standard for sons and daughters that fathers have. It's bulls*** that they do that. Anyway...done with the ranting.

[originally posted on my MySpace blog]

Saturday, November 5, 2005

once I ran to you now I'll run from you this tainted love you've given I give you all a boy could give you take my tears and that's not nearly all

Okay...probably going to make some people mad, but...I hate being a size 0. I'm probably the only girl thinking that, but whatever. I had to buy some new jeans b/c all of mine are too big. The belt can only do so much.

So...yeah, not a single girl anymore. Doubt that upsets anyone though.

[originally posted on my MySpace blog]

Sunday, October 30, 2005

can't you help me as I'm starting to burn too many doses and I'm starting to get an attraction

Yay! Tomorrow is Halloween...too bad I have to go to Chem lecture.

Had a somewhat good weekend...some things were fun...some things were depressing...and some things were okay...

Friday, I tutored C**** in Spanish. So to pay me for it, since I wasn't charging him, he took me out to eat. Then he didn't want to drive up to Owosso to see his girlfriend, so he asked me to hang out with him. (We had something to be at for school Saturday and he didn't want to have to rush home in the morning) We went to the movies and saw the movie "Saw 2," it was pretty good...too bad I haven't seen the first one yet. And then it was still early so we went bowling. Fairly certain I was the only white person in the building. Not that that is a problem, it was just abnormal to me. Had to go to a family Halloween party last night, it wasn't that bad. The evening ended with an alcoholic beverage taste test for me. Tequila straight is fine, mixed with lime margarita mix it's nasty. Bailey's is pretty good though. It's kind of a surreal situation to be in when your younger brothers' friend's father is the one giving you alcohol. Today I went to the cider mill with this guy that I like. I'm too girly apparently; I complained about touching the cider container b/c it was wet and sticky from the cider.

My head hurts...I blame it on the thoughts swirling around my brain.

[originally posted on my MySpace blog]

Thursday, October 27, 2005

ain't no particular sign I'm more compatible with I just want your extra time and your kiss

"A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous."

I don't know who said that...but I like it.

[originally posted on my MySpace blog]

Wednesday, October 5, 2005

she's looking in the mirror she's fixing her hair and I touch my head to feel what isn't there she's humming a melody we learned in grade school

I let my best friend go at my head with scissors! She didn't do too bad, but thank god one of our other friends was there to improve upon what she had done. But...my long beautiful hair is all gone! It's now just above my shoulders. I can still put it in a ponytail, so that's good. My mom hates it, my stepdad is stupefied and my best friend and the friend who improved it, and another friend too, like it. Oh, yeah, I like it too. So I guess that is all that matters.

Now...I have to go eat dinner...I'm thinking of skipping the dinner and going straight to the dark chocolate fudge birthday cake...

[originally posted on my MySpace blog]

Sunday, October 2, 2005

let's get these teen hearts beating faster faster so testosterone boys and harlequin girls will you dance to this beat and hold a lover close?

Tonight my family is taking me out to eat...it's my birthday dinner. The really sad thing is that I think the last time my family ate together was when we took my grandpa out to eat for his birthday. And that was almost a month ago. Oh, well. Families eating together isn't really a normal thing. But, yeah...Noodles & Co., I love their food.

I really like that song by Jamie O'Neal "Somebody's Hero." It's so cute. I also want to buy the Panic! At the Disco cd, b/c I want the song "Lying is the Most Fun a Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off."

[originally posted on my MySpace blog]

Sunday, September 18, 2005

back home I always thought I wanted so much more now I'm not too sure 'cause sometimes I miss knowing someone's there for me

I'm home...I'm tired...I'm in some major pain...

This weekend I was asked about five times if at some point I was ever a blonde. I guess I kept doing some really dumb things...oh well. I had fun at Mock Chapter; I met some cool new people and assuming that I go to Mini-Honors in November, I should see a few of them again. Oh! Duh! We all said that we would try and get together this upcoming weekend or something like that. I know that K**** told me to call him if I need Chem help, b/c he's taking the same course. I hate being the smallest person...C**** picked me up and held me upside down! Which I am sure is going to make a really funny picture, but the rush of blood to my head was really not fun. And then K**** and C**** both thought that it was a brilliant idea to pick on me. I got called a spaz so many times...it doesn't help that I must have snapped my name tag back at myself about 10 times. That did hurt too. Plus, it's really easy to knock me down; so they kept hitting the back of my knees to unbalance me. They were nice enough to stand behind me to make sure I didn't fall to the ground. Thank you so much. Okay...I'm exhausted b/c I think that I only got a total of three hours of sleep. Thinking is not the easiest thing to do right now...so buenas noches!

[originally posted on my MySpace blog]

Thursday, September 15, 2005

and I know what must change f*** my face f*** my name they are brief and false advertisements for a soul I don't have something true I have lacked

I am leaving for Traverse City at noon tomorrow...won't be home until sometime Sunday afternoon. I don't even really get to come home and relax after the weekend; I have to go over my daddy's house and help him close up his pool. I am so exhausted right now and I have no idea why. Actually I have an idea, but I'm hoping it's wrong. I should probably go ahead and pack up my stuff tonight b/c there's no way that I am going to get up and do it in the morning. I'm barely going to get up early enough to shower. I have my alarm set for 9:00 am and it goes off at the same time seven days a week; you'd think that I could get myself out of bed before noon. Not the last couple of days. Yeah...I guess that I am going to pack my stuff...wait...I can't pack yet. I still need a bunch of my stuff in the morning. I guess I really do have to get up at 9:00. D***. I'm starting to ramble now, so...yeah...

[originally posted on my MySpace blog]

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

what's so amazing that keeps us star gazing & what do we think we might see someday we'll find it the rainbow connection the lovers the dreamers & me

Close your eyes...
And go back...
Before the Internet or the MAC...
Before semi automatics and crack...
Before SEGA or Super Nintendo...
Way back...
I'm talkin' bout hide and go seek at dusk...
Red light, Green light...
Playing kickball & dodgeball until your porch light came on...
Mother May I?...
Red Rover...
Hula Hoops...
Running through the sprinkler...
Happy Meals...

Wait...
Watchin' Saturday Morning cartoons...
Or what about Legends of the Hidden Temple, Global Guts, Double Dare...
And who could forget Snick, and Are You Afraid Of The Dark?...
Fat Albert, Road Runner, Smurfs, Picture Pages, G-Force & He-Man Wonder Woman...
Scooby Doo Underoos...
Playing Dukes of Hazard...
Catchin' lightning bugs in a jar...
Christmas morning...
Your first day of school...
Bedtime Prayers and Goodnight Kisses...
Climbing trees...
Getting an ice cream off the ice cream truck...
A million mosquito bites and sticky fingers...
Jumpin' on the bed...
Pillow fights...
Runnin ' till you were out of breath...
Laughing so hard that your stomach hurt...
Being tired from playin'...
Your first crush...
Rainy days at school meant playing "Heads up 7UP" in the classroom...

Remember?

I'm not finished yet...

Kool-Aid was the drink of the summer...
Giving your friends a ride on your handlebars...
Wearing your new shoes on the first day of school...
Class Field Trips...
When nearly everyone's mom was at home when the kids got there...
When a quarter seemed like a fair allowance, and another quarter a Miracle...
When any parent could discipline any kid, or feed him or use him to carry groceries, and nobody, not even the kid, thought a thing of it...
When your parents took you to McDonald's and you were so cool...
When being sent to the principal's office was nothing compared to the fate that awaited a misbehaving student at home...
Basically, we were in fear for our lives but it wasn't because of drive by shootings, drugs, gangs, etc....
Our parents and grandparents were a much bigger threat!
And some of us are still afraid of 'em!
Didn't that feel good, just to go back and say, "Yeah, I remember that!"

I want to go back to the time when...
Decisions were made by going "eeny-meeny-miney-mo"...
Mistakes were corrected by simply exclaiming, "do over!"...
"Race issue" meant arguing about who ran the fastest...
Money issues were handled by whoever was the banker in "monopoly"...
Catching fireflies could happily occupy an entire evening (still is!)...
It wasn't odd to have two or three "best" friends...
Being old, referred to anyone over 20...
The worst thing you could catch from the opposite sex was cooties...
Nobody was prettier than Mom...
Scrapes and bruises were kissed and made better...
It was a big deal to finally be tall enough to ride the "big people" rides at the amusement park...
Getting a foot of snow was a dream come true...
Abilities were discovered because of a "double-dog-dare"...
Spinning around, getting dizzy and falling down was cause for giggles...
The worst embarrassment was being picked last for a team...
Water balloons were the ultimate, ultimate weapon...
Older siblings were the worst tormentors, but also the fiercest protectors...
If you can remember most or all of these, then you have LIVED!!!
Pass this on to anyone who may need a break from their "grown up" life...

I double dog dare you!

[originally posted on my MySpace blog]

Monday, September 5, 2005

I will not follow you into a perfect grave I will not stand here while you throw it all away but I'll keep hoping that you won't fall in all the way

My brother is an immature moron. And I say that with love. When you can't get along with your parents and they are just as f***ing stubborn as you are; don't think that you're going to win the war, let alone the god d*** battle. Thanks to the retardation of my brother, I don't know what I am going to do for food today. He decided that he can go out whenever he wants, drive where ever he wants, do whatever he wants and to hell with what his parents say. So...he successfully pissed our mother off and now we're not going to my grandparents' house for a BBQ. And if I go into the kitchen to make some food, that means I have to come into contact with my mother. So not something that I want to do right now. I really don't want to endure the wrath of my psychotic mother, because even if you're not the one she's mad at, you still get a healthy dose of her anger when interacting with her. I cannot even understand anything that he does either because I am nothing like him. I would rather avoid confrontation than create it. If gas wasn't so damn expensive, I would just go out and drive around to avoid my family for the day. Maybe I'll take my youngest two brothers and we'll go over my grandparents' house without my mom and stepdad. Although...leaving my mom alone with my brother is probably a bad idea. She has a bad temper and so does he...and neither is very good at controlling it. They just act as catalysts for each other. My mother and brother could end up on the 6 o'clock news if left alone in their current states. And I'm not joking...that's the scary part.

[originally posted on my MySpace blog]

Saturday, September 3, 2005

I hurt myself today to see if I still feel I focus on the pain the only thing that's real

I hurt my hand yesterday and now I keep re-hurting it! (my bedroom door jam jumped out and hit my hand, hard!) Tonight I went over my grandma's and my brother, my daddy and I installed her new garage door opener/motor. That was interesting to say the least. My grandma fed me and my brother dinner though. That was very kind of her. I think it has to do more with her Italian genes than anything else though! She is always feeding us! It's a good thing that she can cook...even though I swear that I can feel my arteries clogging as I eat her cooking! My brother (the 17 y/o), the awesome child that he is (hahahahah!), just made me a grilled cheese sandwich and he actually did a good job! He's not a bad cook; he just doesn't care, I think. Whatever...not important...ciao dahling!

[originally posted on my MySpace blog]

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

forgive my adversaries they don't understand what we go through to become a man we sheddin' tattoed tears

Any artists?

I was told that I should have an evil looking fairy instead of a girly, pretty one for a tattoo...but I need someone to draw me one.

Any takers?


Oh...and I was told that I should get Tinkerbell the crackwhore tattooed across my chest...not so sure about that.

[originally posted on my MySpace blog]

Thursday, August 25, 2005

I go walking to the sun it shouldn't be too long before my head explodes I'll be traveling again I'll live to see the end of this

Daydreaming is dangerous!
I'm screwed...daydreaming all the time...rarely exercise...

...at least I'm going to remember my youth...too bad I won't remember turning on the stove!

[originally posted on my MySpace blog]

Tuesday, August 2, 2005

there's something I can see there's something different in the way you smile behind those eyes you lie and there's nothing I can say

3 Doors Down, Staind, Breaking Benjamin and No Address was awesome! I had a lot of fun! But on my way there I managed to hit the car in front of me...so...now I have no car. The radiator is cracked and you can so tell that the vehicle that I hit has a tire mounted to the back of it. My hood is smooshed, my left headlight is pushed in and it's just all around bad. I was so paranoid driving home that my car was going to overheat that I was seriously about to cry. I got my hair cut, I had 3-4" taken off. And now my shoulders are so burnt that they have blistered! I have never been this burnt in my life! It hurts so much! I am sitting in my bedroom in a strapless bra (that I hate to wear!) so that I can put A&D on my shoulders. I also have some pajama pants on, but those may come off soon.

[originally posted on my MySpace blog]

Sunday, July 31, 2005

nuclear family nuclear war burning in the aftermath burning in the aftermath

Today was the Warped Tour! I went with B******, A*** and my 8 yr old brother. In the traffic jam on I-75, my brother suddenly had the need to vomit and did so in the garbage bag. Of course, B****** and A*** had to then convince him to throw it out the window. Boys can be so obnoxious. Since I was driving we listened to all of my girly music: Katy Rose Because I Can; Madonna The Immaculate Collection; my burned cd that has Tori Amos "Cornflake Girl" on it; and then just b/c there was nothing that I wanted to listen to, we listened to a motown compilation. The first thing that we listened to when A*** and B****** got in the car was Alkaline Trio though and they were fairly good, too. We also listened to the 2005 Warped Tour Compilation cds. I am so very sunburned, it is awful. The tops of my arms are dark, the undersides are still pale as can be and my face is glowing pink (according to my 17 yr old brother). My shoulders are so very pink! My skin is driving me crazy! Dry and itchy!

[originally posted on my MySpace blog]

Thursday, July 28, 2005

only in my head it's only my head in my head it's only in my head (only in my head) in my head its only in my head (only in my head)

I am stuck with my two younger brothers, today. Yay. Oh well...I'm stuck with the 8 y/o all weekend, too. I wish that I was going to the Warped Tour this year, but I am broke and have no ticket.

I am so very bored and I just got up. It's 11:51 am and I just got up. How lazy is that? Actually, I was awake (no, woken up) at 7:29 am when someone sent me a text message, but that's okay b/c I went right back to sleep. Then I was woken up again at 9:30 am when my alarm went off, well...radio came on. But I fell back asleep again and didn't get up until 11:30 am when my mom needed to know my plans for the day. My brother got up and dressed before me, so he gets the Get-Out-of-Brother-Watching Card. Brat. Twice now, my laziness has gotten me brother watching duty. I really need to get that under control. My laziness. I also need to stop staying up all night online IMing people and eating in the middle of the night. I'm going to get fat. Maybe I should exercise...nah...too lazy for that.

Sunday, I have a chapter picnic thing to go to; my 8 y/o brother and I are going to have so much fun...yeah, right. We would have so much more fun at the Warped Tour. Anyone wanna buy me a ticket? I will love you forever...or until I get bored with you...whichever comes first.

[originally posted on my MySpace blog]