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As of February 23, 2012, I have a very sweet, very cute little boy. Baby PGS is my world now.

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Friday, May 9, 2008

I'll keep your memory vague so you won't feel bad about me I'll say the things that you said sometimes so it reminds me

I think the first mistake was letting people in on the fact that I loved him. That just left me open to vulnerability and getting hurt. I don't think that he wanted to ask me to marry him...I think that he just did it because he knew it was what I wanted and was hoping that with time it was going to be what he wanted, too. Just because he says it was because he loved me and wanted to spend the rest of his life with me doesn't mean that he meant it...does it? I don't know anymore...I'm so confused and unsure of things.

The last time I saw him things were bad when I left...and then when I called him the next day it didn't go much better...followed by the next day of him being "distracted," so he didn't call. So...y'know...supposedly we're engaged yet in the last three days or so we've barely talked to one another and when we did talk it wasn't anything more than superficial small talk. That's why I'm so confused and don't know what to think and don't know what's going on anymore. ::sigh::

I feel like a broken record because it just seems like he ignores that I tell him that I feel so uncomfortable around him. And I feel so uncomfortable because it feels as though he's thinking that he has better things to do, better places to be...just anything, anywhere but with me. I just get the impression that when I try to tell him what I'm thinking/feeling, he lets it go in one ear and out the other, as though it's not important enough to listen to.

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