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As of February 23, 2012, I have a very sweet, very cute little boy. Baby PGS is my world now.

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Saturday, May 3, 2008

she's beautiful as usual with bruises on her ego and her killer instinct tells her to be aware of evil men and that's what you get for falling again

Today the Cosmo daily horoscope says:
Libra - Single? Your highly charged sexuality might bowl over a cutie you see every day when he notices you in a hot, new light. Attached? Thanks to the passionate Moon, you might feel an erotic rush so intense that you can't be bothered with a bed tonight.
Umm, yeah...I'm really not sure which part of that (meaning the single or attached) pertains to me, but I'm more sure of the unlikely to come true part...

I have no idea whether or not I still have a fiancé, let alone a boyfriend. I honestly don't know what's going on anymore. The only thing that I know for sure is that he is saying one thing to me and his actions are saying something else to me. And I don't think the words are what he really means. It just feels like every day there is something new added to the list of what's wrong with me and why I am such a terrible person. I get it...I'm moody and everyone hates to be around me. Yeah, a majority of the listed things are the same each time...but it just seems like the list is getting longer and longer each time because: [a] he's annoyed by every little thing I do; [b] he's getting bolder and more willing to tell me; or [c] some combination of the two choices. ::sigh:: I'm not sure which...

He just keeps yelling at me over and over and over again for the same things...and then analyzing my behavior and treating me like a small child. He's well aware of the fact that I don't like to be told what to do and do horribly when I'm yelled at...yet somehow he thought that by doing just that it was going to help change my behavior? I don't understand...I don't know what to do...I just... ::sigh:: I guess that's pretty much why I put all of his stuff that I have in my room together as though at any moment he's going to ask for it back... I really don't know what he wants from me anymore. Are we just going through the motions until it becomes unbearable? Because if so, I really don't think that I can handle that...I need to know what's going on...and he doesn't answer my questions, just tells me to change. ::sigh::

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