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Friday, November 21, 2008

if you were dead or still alive I don't care I don't care just go and leave this all behind 'cause I swear (I swear) I don't care

Here's the weekly round-up of what I found interesting this week:
.:. I can't believe that people just sat there and watched...
.:. Why? Just why? What makes $400,000 worth it?
.:. So very glad that I wasn't on that flight!!
.:. Umm, yeah...probably not the best way to go about getting the hug that you so desperately(?) want...
.:. Yay for cell phones!! At least, yay for this guy's cell phone anyway, it saved his life.
.:. I totally agree with the retired admirals and generals that say to get rid of the 'don't ask, don't tell' policy...
.:. How sad is this? Her husband's coffin killed her...
.:. I know this is nearly four weeks old, but seriously how sweet, adorable and beautiful is this picture?
Just a short one this week...it's getting close to the end of the semester, so the next few will probably be short, also.

And now for some amusement from Overheard in New York...

Wait -- Aren't You a Creative Writing Major?
Girl: And I had to buy my own scalpel, too.
Boy: Well, at least you'll have one now.
Girl: Yeah.
Boy: You never know when you'll need to skin a cat.
Girl: Or a person...
-- Columbia University

Do They Make Them in a Slingback?
Thug: What kinda shoes are those?
Chick in black feather skirt with 5-inch red & white heels: Miu Mius.
Thug: They're pretty.
-- Bryant Park Tents

My Barbie Says Girls Don't Care About Such Things
Park Slope mom: What did you do in science class today?
Five-year-old girl: You do not want to know.
-- F Train

A New York Cop is Born
Four-year old boy #1: Hey, try to catch me!
Four-year old boy #2: Shut the f*** up, motherf***er!
-- Carroll Gardens

And the Marks Were in the Shape of a Heart
Girl: I can't get drunk when you're not.
Guy: Why not?
Girl: You hit me, you're mean to me, you bite me--the last time you left marks on my boobs!
Guy: I never hit you.
-- 125th St & Broadway

Many Birds Have Difficulty Adjusting to City Life
Conductor: Please stand clear of the closing doors. (doors stay open) Pull yourself inside the door and let it close! (still open) Pull your pecker in! (doors close)
-- Downtown 2 Train

There's That Ivy League Logic
Druggie #1: No. Technically, if you don't have anything on you, they can't arrest you.
Druggie #2: Are you suggesting we smoke naked?
-- Columbia University

It's Not Delivery, It's Wednesday One-Liners
Six-year-old to friends: We should have an Obama pizza party!
-- Park Slope
...and there are six more one liners...

Wednesday One-Liners Have Been Workin' on the Railroad, All the Livelong Day
Conductor: Hey, partner, can we go? (static) We can't? Why the heck not? Hey, moron, get your a** in here! You're holding up a bunch of wonderful people! Wonderful New York commuters who don't need this kind of f***ing bulls*** at 3 on a Friday afternoon! (static) Yes, you! Keep pointing at yourself and my answer will keep being... Yes, it's you! Godd***it, get in the f***ing train! I hate dealing with this! (long pause) You know what, make a decision: either cram your Rosie O'Donnell a** in or get the f*** out! Oh, look, he's in! (slow, sarcastic applause) Partner, we can bounce up on out of here now.
-- 1 Train

Conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, for the next 250 years there will be track work on weekends. Don't say that no one told you.
-- R Train

Conductor: If you don't fit on this train kindly wait for the next B. (doors close) That was excellent, ladies and gentlemen, if you keep this up, we'll all be home really soon.
-- B Train

Conductor, looking forward to the end of his shift: All right folks, this is your 6:07 train to New Haven stopping at 125th, then express to Stamford. We're off...(makes clippy-clop noises) Neeiiigghh!
-- Metro-North Train

Conductor: This is 125th Street, may the force be with you, next stop 86th Street.
-- 4 Train

Conductor, after train goes through stop: Whoops! My bad. My bad.
-- G Train

Conductor, after train stops: Ladies and gentlemen, there is train traffic up ahead. We'll start moving as soon... (train starts moving) Oh, well, I guess that's cleared up. Weee!
-- Downtown A Train

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