So...this is what the people at Cosmo have had to say for my horoscope for the past few days:
04.13.08, Sunday, Libra – Single? A well-balanced guy might inspire your romantic side with his stellar seduction skills. Attached? Your sack-time stamina could keep him spellbound under the frisky Moon tonight.
04.14.08, Monday, Libra – Positive communication always helps you to feel better. Venus encourages you to spend time with the people you love. Today, that's the most important thing you can do.
04.15.08, today, Libra – Beauty queen Venus knows how you love to primp and suggests that you consider going all out today and getting a spa facial and makeup lesson. You'll feel as gorgeous as you'll look.
04.14.08, Monday, Libra – Positive communication always helps you to feel better. Venus encourages you to spend time with the people you love. Today, that's the most important thing you can do.
04.15.08, today, Libra – Beauty queen Venus knows how you love to primp and suggests that you consider going all out today and getting a spa facial and makeup lesson. You'll feel as gorgeous as you'll look.
Interesting...that's really all I have to say...seeing how y'know, he's broken...there is no sack-time to worry about, right?
Also, this Cosmo confession amused a bunch...poor girl...poor guy...I don't know who would have been more traumatized in that situation...probably her...
some Overheard in New York amusement...
Don't Hate the Yoplait, Hate the Yoplaya
College chick #1: He told me afterwards that he hadn't masturbated all week but seriously, he came so much that it was oozing out of the base of the condom.
College chick #2: That's so gross.
College chick #1: Yeah but that's not the worst part, it had the consistency of yogurt.
College chick #2, awed: Man, yogurts...
College chick #1: Yeah it was kinda inspiring. Only also kinda horrible.
College chick #2: Wait, if the c*m was coming out of the condom, doesn't that mean you might get pregnant?
College chick #1: Yeah I guess, but I feel like that sperm kinda earned it, you know? I dunno if I could complain with sperm that um, fortitudinous.
College chick #2: Good word.
-- 1 Train
Which Speaker You Find More Annoying Says a Lot About You as a Person
Environmentalist with clipboard: Excuse me, do you have a minute to help save the environment?
Woman in suit: I'm sorry, I already saved the children this morning and then told the Democratic Party to go f*** themselves three blocks ago, so no, I don't have time to save the environment today. Maybe tomorrow, hippie.
-- Broadway & Bond
New Yorkers Are Ultra-Sensitive About Color
Guy at bar: And so I keep trying to tell my wife that sienna is not a color.
Girl passing by: Yes it is! Burnt sienna is a crayon you slanderous prick!
-- Restaurant, Bleecker Street
Who Knew Getting to Grandmother's House Would Be This Hard?
Chick, a little buzzed: Fleetwood, crestwood, woodlawn...There's so much wood on this train I can't concentrate.
Boyfriend: [stares at her wide-eyed].
Chick: Oh my god, did I just say that?
Boyfriend: Yes, and at least five guys heard it.
Random guy: I'm one.
-- Metro North
Besides, If You Go Far Enough Left, You're Right.
Little girl, adorably: So, this hand is right and this one is left?
Mom: No, it's the other way around.
Little girl: But you said before! You said this was the right and this was the left!
Mom: Well, if I'm facing you -
Little girl, exasperated: Mother, I really don't want to talk to you about this anymore.
-- LIRR
***Spoiler Alert***
Victoria in Goldsboro, N.C.: I love Dancing with the Stars and was wondering if you ever hear any backstage gossip about the dancers? I really want to know if Mark and Sabrina from last season are still together?
My understanding is yes, they are still together. Sabrina has been backstage watching during at least two shows, and I hear they still appear to be very close! Also, Julianne Hough is not romantically involved with any of her former partners, contrary to popular belief. Korbi just recently spotted her out in West Hollywood, holding hands with longtime on again, off again love, Zack. You may remember him as a finalist on Dance War: Bruno Vs. Carrie Ann.
Rebecca in Sun Valley, Idaho: Any word on Blair and Nate on Gossip Girl? I want them together!
There's a big twist ahead with Nate heading toward another girl! Any guesses? (And no, it's not Serena, but it is someone we have already met on the show! Post your guesses in the comments section...)
spoilers courtesy of E! online's Watch With Kristin
Also, this Cosmo confession amused a bunch...poor girl...poor guy...I don't know who would have been more traumatized in that situation...probably her...
some Overheard in New York amusement...
Don't Hate the Yoplait, Hate the Yoplaya
College chick #1: He told me afterwards that he hadn't masturbated all week but seriously, he came so much that it was oozing out of the base of the condom.
College chick #2: That's so gross.
College chick #1: Yeah but that's not the worst part, it had the consistency of yogurt.
College chick #2, awed: Man, yogurts...
College chick #1: Yeah it was kinda inspiring. Only also kinda horrible.
College chick #2: Wait, if the c*m was coming out of the condom, doesn't that mean you might get pregnant?
College chick #1: Yeah I guess, but I feel like that sperm kinda earned it, you know? I dunno if I could complain with sperm that um, fortitudinous.
College chick #2: Good word.
-- 1 Train
Which Speaker You Find More Annoying Says a Lot About You as a Person
Environmentalist with clipboard: Excuse me, do you have a minute to help save the environment?
Woman in suit: I'm sorry, I already saved the children this morning and then told the Democratic Party to go f*** themselves three blocks ago, so no, I don't have time to save the environment today. Maybe tomorrow, hippie.
-- Broadway & Bond
New Yorkers Are Ultra-Sensitive About Color
Guy at bar: And so I keep trying to tell my wife that sienna is not a color.
Girl passing by: Yes it is! Burnt sienna is a crayon you slanderous prick!
-- Restaurant, Bleecker Street
Who Knew Getting to Grandmother's House Would Be This Hard?
Chick, a little buzzed: Fleetwood, crestwood, woodlawn...There's so much wood on this train I can't concentrate.
Boyfriend: [stares at her wide-eyed].
Chick: Oh my god, did I just say that?
Boyfriend: Yes, and at least five guys heard it.
Random guy: I'm one.
-- Metro North
Besides, If You Go Far Enough Left, You're Right.
Little girl, adorably: So, this hand is right and this one is left?
Mom: No, it's the other way around.
Little girl: But you said before! You said this was the right and this was the left!
Mom: Well, if I'm facing you -
Little girl, exasperated: Mother, I really don't want to talk to you about this anymore.
-- LIRR
***Spoiler Alert***
Victoria in Goldsboro, N.C.: I love Dancing with the Stars and was wondering if you ever hear any backstage gossip about the dancers? I really want to know if Mark and Sabrina from last season are still together?
My understanding is yes, they are still together. Sabrina has been backstage watching during at least two shows, and I hear they still appear to be very close! Also, Julianne Hough is not romantically involved with any of her former partners, contrary to popular belief. Korbi just recently spotted her out in West Hollywood, holding hands with longtime on again, off again love, Zack. You may remember him as a finalist on Dance War: Bruno Vs. Carrie Ann.
Rebecca in Sun Valley, Idaho: Any word on Blair and Nate on Gossip Girl? I want them together!
There's a big twist ahead with Nate heading toward another girl! Any guesses? (And no, it's not Serena, but it is someone we have already met on the show! Post your guesses in the comments section...)
spoilers courtesy of E! online's Watch With Kristin
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