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As of February 23, 2012, I have a very sweet, very cute little boy. Baby PGS is my world now.

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Tuesday, August 5, 2008

oh why be perfect no it's not worth it don't be so obsessed c'mon give it a rest this is not some contest just do your best cuz nobody's perfect

This is the weekly round-up of the things that amused me over the week (okay, so technically I should have posted this sometime Friday, August 1st):
.:. 61 year old Washington state governor denied entrance to bar for forgetting her id...uhh, maybe the bouncer needs to rethink that whole card every person idea...
.:. Aww, how adorable...a golden retriever has adopted some tiger in a few months, that may need to be re-thought...
.:. In NYC, a 12 year old girl fell 14 stories down a chimney...but the soot and ash at the bottom is probably what saved her life...crazy kid...
.:. Pharmacies refusing to hand out birth control... (I was bored one day and looking at the Human Nature blog on Slate, that's why this entry from June 17th is included in this list)
I don't know why I didn't do this on Friday...oh, well...enjoy it today...

This list amused me: 19 Things You Should Never Do.
(it's a list of things that men should never do)
Numbers 1, 2...and possibly one other number are the most important. I just can't say what the other number is specifically because the boy does it (and it does kinda annoy me, but it's not something worth mentioning so I never have). Number 6 isn't on what I consider the most important, but there are times when it is a possibility.

And now, for some amusement from Overheard in New York...

Today It's a Lolly. Tomorrow It's a BMW
(waiting in line)
Four-year-old kid: Mommy, I really want a lollipop!
Mom: Uhuh, move up here honey.
Kid: Mom! Just give in, I want a lollipop, okay?
(mother ignores him)
Kid: Just give in, it's okay, I want one. It's okay to give in, mom.
Kid: Mom, this isn't going to work for me! I want a lollipop!
Random guy in line: Resist!
-- Associated Supermarkets, Bleecker & LaGuardia

Just Watch Where You're Sticking That Scepter, Missy
Distressed four-year-old: But why are you walking in front of me?
Father: Honey, I know you're the princess, but that doesn't mean I can't walk in front of you.
-- 101st & Amsterdam

Then You Probably Have No Interest in Playing Football
Little boy: Grandma, can I play football?
Grandma: I don't know about that, you have to talk to the coach.
Little boy: Grandma, can I play football if I get an F in school?
Grandma: No, you can't play if you get an F.
Little boy: But what if it's an F for "fabulous"?
-- Nostrand Ave

All I Require in Exchange Is Your First-Born
Tourist woman: I am waiting until the sign says "walk"!
10-year old: Lady, then you're going to be here for a while.
Tourist woman: I don't want to cross by myself.
10-year old: Uh. I'll cross with you.
-- Greene St

See How Easy It Is Finding Someone to Tell You What to Do?
Ditzy blonde: I know you'll think this is stupid, but I was thinking of going to a life coach. A life coach or a really good psychic.
Brunette friend: You know what? I do think it's stupid. Here, I'll be your life coach: F*** psychics, and go get a job. Oh, and don't get fired this time. You're fixed now.
-- Metro North-Harlem

Is Our Tourists Learning?
Blonde tourist (after swiping futilely a few times): How do I swipe this?
New Yorker (looks at card in tourist's hand): That's not a Metrocard, that's your room key.
-- E Train

Meet the Author of How to Make a Straight Guy Shut Up
Guy at bar: I'm sorry if I'm being an a**hole.
Gay bartender: Oh, don't worry - I deal with a**holes all the time.
-- Montien, 12th & 3rd

Good Point -- F*** Those Furry Little Bastards
Little guy to big guy wearing fur hat: You know, wearing fur is murder.
Big guy wearing fur hat: So is me pushing you off the train.
-- A Train

Except All You've Written for Your Book Report Is "Cheese Is God"
Tutor: So did you understand the story you read for homework?
Girl student: The first time I read it, I didn't understand it. But the second time, I was mad f***ing high, and I got it.
-- Oriental Boulevard, Brooklyn

"Nice Tool" Does Sound Gay by Comparison
(construction worker pulls out a new tool from the truck)
Worker #1: Where the f*** did you get that?
Worker #2: F***in' Home Depot!
Worker #3: That's f***in' fancy!
-- 33rd St & 8th Ave

For a Moment I Thought You Were One Of Our Webcam Subscribers
Frenchman: What's up, dude?
Girl: So I see your roommate is rubbing off on you!
Frenchman (horrified): What? No. No. No.
Girl (laughing): It's a figure of speech.
-- 5th Ave

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