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As of February 23, 2012, I have a very sweet, very cute little boy. Baby PGS is my world now.

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Friday, August 8, 2008

in too deep and lost in time why'd you have to go and let it die beautiful veins and bloodshot eyes why'd you have to go and let it die

Ugh...y'know what annoys me? The fact that the boy seems to think that I'm bipolar and takes every chance that he can to tell me of that thought.

Okay, I realize that the posts of this blog tend to go from end of the continuum to the other and back again like all the time. But just like in my hard copy journal (which God forbid should anybody read), I tend to put my thoughts down more when I'm upset about something than when I'm happy about something. I use it as a way to calm down, so yeah...if someone reads either and doesn't actually spend any time with me, then of course s/he is going to have a skewed view of me.

Anyway...I started thinking about this after I'd already finished the previous post today. So, yeah, I realize this is the second post with it.

There was something else that I was thinking about, too...but I don't think that I'm going to mention on here.

::sigh:: And it bugs me that he's always saying how he's such a pleasant person to be around and that I'm so horrible to be around. Okay, maybe to everyone else in his life he's that pleasant person to be around...but anymore he's not his pleasant self around me. I try to be my normal self around him (which most of the time, I am in a good mood), but sometimes when he comes over he starts right away with what's wrong with me. And because I never know how long it's going to take for him to start with the chastising of me for whatever the perceived flaw is. That's probably why he thinks that I go from one extreme to the other so often...all it is, is that I'm withdrawn and trying to anticipate what he's going to say is wrong with me next.

But...whatever...I can't change that...that's why I'm ready for a change...

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