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As of February 23, 2012, I have a very sweet, very cute little boy. Baby PGS is my world now.

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Friday, August 8, 2008

did you forget the magic? did you forget the passion, oh and did you ever miss me? ever long to kiss me?

I cannot stand it when people say things that they feel obligated to say but don't really mean. Specifically "I love you." Don't say that to someone if you don't mean it...just because someone says it to you, does not mean that you are obligated to repeat it back to them. I repeat, you are not under any obligation to repeat said statement back to the person if you don't mean the sentiment.

It's just annoying when people say things that they don't mean. The "I love you" example was just my specific example though, don't read too much into it. If I really wanted to, I could add another specific example, too. But I don't feel like it at the moment.

Last night, I asked the boy if he thought that I'd made a mistake by asking him to talk to me on Saturday...and he answered me with the answer that I had been afraid that he'd give me ("yes" in case you're too stupid to figure that out on your own...sorry, that was a bit harsh). He tried to get me to answer my own question first, but I just told him that I already knew what I thought and wanted his answer. After he answered, I told him what I thought (which was that I don't know if I made a mistake or not).

I know this is going to sound like I'm complaining or that I'm an attention-whore, but whatever that's not what it is...not really anyway. It just appears like the only days that the boy had any time for me this week were also the days that he had the least amount of free time to spare. ::sigh:: It just kinda feels like that's how it's been for the last few weeks, too. And like he can't stand to be around me, too. And then when I say anything to him, he twists my words into me wanting all his free time and all his attention. And that's not what I'm trying to say to him at all...what I'm really trying to say is that, if we only have a limited amount of time that we can spend together, then can we please try to make the most of it by making the quality of the time better? But instead, he just gets defensive and territorial of his free time. And then eventually, I end up thinking he hates me and wants nothing to do with me. Crap!, this ended up turning into more of a complaint than I had intended.

I don't think that things are ever going to change...and I don't think that he wants them to. I think that he's happy to let them fail. I'm starting to think he just says things that he doesn't mean to make up for an eight month lie. Specifically something said only two months after that.

[sidenote:] edited on August 11th to say two in the last sentence as opposed to the math was special that day.

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