when you see my face I hope it gives you hell I hope it gives you hell when you walk my way I hope it gives you hell I hope it gives you hell

My daddy is coming home today!!!!!!!!!!!

Here is the weekly round-up of what caught my interest this week:

.:. A bank robber used Craigslist to get some decoys...
.:. This is highly amusing...public humiliation as opposed to jail time.
.:. 20 hours of listening to classical music as a sentence...only made it through 20 minutes...
.:. It's never too late to return something stolen...even 50 years later.

There wasn't as much this week, sorry. I was busy and didn't look at as many things as previous weeks.

And now for some amusement from Overheard in New York...

The Lightbulb Moment That Would Change Peter's Life Forever
20-something chick: I still think the dog toy looks like a butt plug.
20-something guy: If there is such a thing.
20-something chick, with shocked face: Are you serious? Yes, there are butt plugs.
20-something guy: For what?
20-something chick: For people.
20-something guy: For *what*?
20-something chick: Nevermind.
20-something guy: No! Tell me! For *what*?
-- Dallas BBQ, Chelsea

I Heart NY. Now More Than Ever.
(girl flips off hecklers in a car)
Guy in car: Oh yeah, sweetie? Why don't you stick that up your a**?!
Girl: Maybe if I made it into a fist you'd want to stick it up yours.
-- 30th Ave, Astoria

Like a Squirrel, I Need to Hoard Nuts
Girlfriend: The last thing on the list is pantyhose.
Boyfriend: Pantyhose? I didn't know you wore pantyhose.
Girlfriend: I don't in the summer, because summer is the time to be free and relaxed, but now it's cold and I need to keep warm.
Boyfriend: If you are so free and relaxed in the summer, why are we having sex more now?
Girlfriend: Because now it's cold and I need to keep warm.
-- Duane Reade

Word to Your Mom
Middle aged white woman on cell: Okay, mom. Go back to watching Snoop. Yeah, I know you love him. Okay, have fun watching the D-0-double g! Bye.
Random passerby: Best. Conversation. Ever.
-- Upper West Side

Don't Judge Me. Bitch
Little girl with cotton candy to lonely goth girl sitting on a curb: Look! I have cotton candy! See? (shoves it in her face)
Goth girl: Oh...good?
Mother: Ha, ha! Like you care!
-- St. Mark's Place

Maverick Wednesday One-Liners Take on the Washington Establishment
Hobo on street corner: Vote for McCain. Get nuclear rockets shot up your a** and eat moose burgers all day!
-- W 3rd & MacDougal St
...and there are five more one-liners...

Why Many Kids Get Left at the Mall Each Year
Dad: We're going over there. To the mall.
Six-year-old son: I need some s***. And who's going to buy me some s***? You.
-- 33rd & 6th