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As of February 23, 2012, I have a very sweet, very cute little boy. Baby PGS is my world now.

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Tuesday, October 21, 2008

I keep a journal of memories I'm feeling lonely I can't breathe I fall to pieces I'm falling fell to pieces and I'm still falling

::sigh:: I made the mistake of calling him last night... Not for the reason(s) you're probably thinking...but because he's the only person I trust who I don't feel is judging me when I talk to him. The others that I trust enough to confide in like that, I feel like they judge me when I go to them when something really is wrong. But...then I saw something today...and it made me regret that I trust him and that I called him last night. I truly want to believe that he's a good guy...but...I'm so hurt and confused by so many outside things right now...that I just don't know...

Maybe I should just do what I wanted to do when I was being rash and angry yesterday...? Just cut him out of my life for good...? I wanted to get rid of everything, and I mean everything, that I have from him...just so that I have no reminders of him. Obviously, the only reminder I would keep is my Vaio...but that's because I'm not about to replace a notebook. But everything else was going to go...cds, books, pictures, cards, movies... I was probably just going to give it all back to him when I got the remainder of the money for our GoalSetter account this weekend. This way I was going to be all done with dealing with him...and I could get over him. ::sigh:: But I don't know if I'm going to sometime soon or not... I mean, I know that I will eventually... I just meant, I don't know if I'm going to get over him soon...or if it's going to take me a while.

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