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Friday, October 3, 2008

I don't care what you think as long as it's about me the best of us can find happiness in misery

Here is the weekly round-up of what caught my interest this week:
.:. This is just sad and wrong...
.:. Are you kidding me? He hugged an officer and now faces charges?
.:. Kung Fu Panda is getting a sequel!!
.:. This is pretty amusing...666 road signs are being stolen in NJ...
.:. How sad is this? A house sold at auction for $1.75...and no, that was not a typo.
.:. Right...I don't really know what this said, but this guy managed to do something amazing with baseball stuff...
.:. Ewewew!! She drank bat coffee!!
.:. cute is this? Two moms were in the same room on the maternity floor and then their babies grew up and now they're getting married!!
.:. This is pretty cool about the astronaut's diary going on display.
.:. Selling potato peelers sent his children to college...
.:. Eeep...this is just terrible, man claims that his penis was amputated without his consent.
.:. This bill supported by MI doctors just might make it so that my ancient neighbor couldn't drive...
.:. Haha...honey loving bear was stealing honey from hives...

And now for some amusement from Overheard in New York...

Where They Let the Sunshine in
(after a performance of Hair)
Woman: What was your favorite part?
Four-year-old girl: I liked all the parts.
Six-year-old girl: I liked the naked part.
-- Delacorte Theater, Central Park

Let's Just Go to Prada and Pet the Leopard Print
Five-year-old girl: Mommy! Taking the train is fun! It's like going to the zoo! (points to several rats on the tracks)
Mother: Yes darling, just remember it's not a petting zoo! (frantically pulls her daughter away from the platform).
-- Pacific St N Line

You Can Always Tell the Conductors Who Used to Teach Public School
Train conductor on "drunk train" from Penn Station: To your right, you will see a big shiny train. If you are changing to the train to Port Jeff, get off of this train, and get on that shiny train. If you are changing to the train to Montauk, walk through the big shiny train, until you see an even *bigger* shiny train. The train to Montauk will have not one, but two big shiny levels. That is the train to Montauk. So remember: Port Jeff?
Conductor and herd of drunken fools: Shiny train!
Conductor: Montauk?
Drunken fools: Bigger shiny train! Woooo!
-- LIRR, Jamaica Station

We Imagine a Young Katherine Hepburn in This Role
Hot chick: You are never gonna get a job talking like that.
Thug: Yeah, you know, I can turn dis s*** off and talk all professional and s*** if I have to. (in professional voice): I can speak in a manner which is becoming to a young professional and present myself as an upstanding member of society (now back to thug speak) nawmsayin'?
Hot chick (sarcastically, enunciating each word): Yes. I know what you are saying.
-- 6 Train

Oh, Crap--It's Spurted All Over the Bag
Woman #1, with water bottle in paper bag: I don't understand why they gave me a bag. What's the point of putting just a water bottle in a bag?
Woman #2: You should've just told them you didn't want one.
Woman #1: Yeah, but I didn't notice until he put it in.
(pause, then both women snicker)
-- Elevator, 8th Ave

How Come Math Majors Are Always the Slowest to Understand This Concept?
Nerdy guy: I don't understand what the significance of the number 69 is. Can someone explain it to me?
Girl: You go to NYU and you don't know that?
(nerdy guy shakes his head)
Girl: To put it bluntly, it's two people giving each other head.
Nerdy guy: Wait, but what does that mean?
Girl: Oh my god...I can't tell you that now. You're the most innocent guy here. It would be like killing a unicorn.
-- Kimmel Center, NYU

It's $10 Extra If You'd Prefer Dragon's Pee
Customer getting tattooed: What's in that spray bottle?
Tattooer, holding bottle that says "soap" on it: Unicorn milk.
-- 13th Street

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