dead leaves and the dirty ground when I know you're not around shiny tops and soda pops when I hear lips make a sound

Here's the weekly round-up...

.:. This is just very sad. The Oak Park police officer was being a good guy, and the kid has pretty much ruined his 16y/o life... I wonder how many people attended his funeral who didn't even know him...? I would feel weird doing that.
.:. That was a really awesome thing of Dwayne Wade to do for a family.
.:. Aww...how cute, even though they're twins, they'll each get their own special day!!
.:. Wow...don't know what I'd do if I found $10 grand in my box of cheesy crackers...
.:. Hooray for mp3 player lighting the way to safety!!
.:. I can agree with what this study found...although, being young, I'm usually not optimistic when something fails.
.:. Umm...a 5¢ tax bill and a 4¢ refund? Ridiculous... ::shakes head::
.:. My mommy works for this company...and she's sent me to this specific store to pick up stuff for inter(intra-[?])store transfers.
.:. This is a good thing to know...at least since there was the not-so-great statistic that I mentioned a few weeks ago (see: .:. Well, that's comforting.).
.:. Wow...just insane. Talk about needing some anger management. Shooting someone over talking in a movie theatre?
.:. Lol...plane hits cow on landing.
.:. Umm, yeah...not the brightest thief in the world, now is he?
.:. Okay, now...if I had a bullet in my head, there is no way that I'd go back to work!!
.:. Just plain weird...why live in an airport terminal?
.:. That's pretty cool...won the lottery from a ticket thrown in the trash.
.:. I'm sure winning the $10 million was bittersweet.
.:. Lol, this just amused me (it's not recent, but it's from a blog that was suggested for me on my Google Reader)...
.:. Again, just something that amused me, but not recent.

Since it's the new year...wanna know what your horoscope is predicting for the new year? Mine was kind of a joke...at least, that's what I thought. But it's still amusing to look.

And now for some amusement from Overheard in New York...

You Go, Roscoe!
Lady: Excuse me, do you know where the bathrooms are?
Father with toddler: Nope, sorry.
Lady: I thought people with kids always knew where the bathrooms were.
Father with toddler: Nah, I just let him pee in the grass.
-- Central Park

Should We Stop for Some Cocktails and Wait It Out?
Mom: S***, it's raining!
Four-year-old: F***!
-- Times Square

...You'll Be Proud to Throw Them Over Your Shoulder Like a Continental Soldier
Little girl to mother: Do your boobs hang low? Do they wobble to and fro? Can you tie them in a knot? Can you tie them in a bow?
Mother (under breath): You're laughing now, but one day...
-- 86th & York

How You Know Your Little Boy is Straight
Employee: I like your pink shirt.
Coworker's 9-year-old nephew: It's not pink; it's white with pink and green stripes.
Employee: So you like to wear pink?
Coworker's 9-year-old nephew: My shirt *isn't* pink! (now shouting) It's white with pink and green stripes and it takes a real man to wear pink!
-- Atlanta, Georgia

They'd Rule the World -- Oh, Wait
Teen boy #1: It's like a totally different part of the body.
Teen boy #2: Can you imagine if vaginas had brains?
-- Bedford Avenue, Brooklyn

Your Perspicaciousness Is Prodigious, You Desiccated Harridan
Teenage girl: Mom! You're being obsequious.
Hip mom: Oh. "Obsequious." Big word. Either you've started studying for the SATs or you're just pandering to your intellectual higher-ups. My guess is the latter.
-- 78th St & Broadway

In That Case, We Need to Talk About Pants
Embarrassed teenage son: Mom, cross your legs.
Obese mother: They are crossed.
Embarrassed teenage son: No, they're not. Cross them more.
Obese mother: If I cross my legs any more I'll get a blood clot.
-- G Train

Yeah, Accommodating Your Capricious Food Cravings Was Really Fun
Middle aged woman: And I smoked weed, like, ever day last summer.
Daughter: I'm shocked, mom.
Middle aged woman: Oh, so you thought I was fun naturally?
-- Central Park

This Just In: 4 Out Of 5 Dentists Recommend New Yorkers! (Click Here For More)
(Woman #1 is trying to exit Starbucks while pushing a stroller. Woman #2 comes to her rescue and keeps the door open)
Woman #1: You aren't from New York, are you?
Woman #2: No.
Woman #1: Because you're too sweet.
-- Starbucks, 114th St & Broadway

You Know the Deal. You Finish Last.
Woman blocking sidewalk for filming: Please wait two minutes. Just two minutes.
Woman barging through crowd: I didn't know this was a congregation area! (curses at woman blocking crowd)
Polite girl: Since the a**hole got through, can the nice people go through?
-- Bleecker St

From Complaining About the Discharge?
Patient: I think my boyfriend and I have contracted either gonorrhea or chlamydia.
Doctor: What makes you say that?
Patient: Well, he's having kind of a pussy discharge from his penis and a burning sensation when he urinates.
Doctor: And what symptoms have you been having?
Patient: Well, I've had a sore throat...
-- NYU Medical Center

The Day Monique Got Run Over
Elegantly dressed French lady, speaking to New York Bus Service representative: Excuse me, when does the bus arrive?
Overweight representative, screaming: The port authoritah bus come 'erry ha'f hour!
Elegantly dressed French lady (pausing and turning to French friend): Wow. And I thought my English sucked.
-- Terminal One, JFK

And Be Eaten by Hippies from Minnesota
Fire truck loudspeaker to tourists blocking entrance: Please clear the area unless you want to end up as roadkill.
-- WTC Site, Liberty Street