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As of February 23, 2012, I have a very sweet, very cute little boy. Baby PGS is my world now.

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Saturday, September 13, 2008

something's missing and I don't know how to fix it something's missing and I don't know what it is no I don't know what it is at all

Today's Cosmo horoscope says...
Libra - You're smokin' hot with both Mars and Venus rolling through your sign. Single? This sexy boost might attract a manslide of cuties to choose among. Attached? This is a good day to wrangle any favor your heart desires.
Hahahahaha!!!!!!! When I first saw this, this morning, I had very little faith in anything coming of it, mostly due to the lack of time to see the boy today. And...nothing came of it...

Ugh...things went horribly with the boy this afternoon. It pisses me off that he'll get mad at me (or more realistically, the situation) for saying what's bothering me, but doesn't let me fully explain myself and then things just get worse than they really are. Like, right now, he thinks that I'm jealous and insecure that he's out tonight at a bachelor party and he's going to see a bunch of pretty girls. Some of the places that the guys are going to tonight, have a dress code, so he needed to get some new dress pants and needed a new dress shirt for the wedding in a few weeks (which apparently, he R.S.V.P.'d that the two of us would go to)...and when he asked me if I was going to go shopping with him for the new clothes to help him pick the stuff out, I told him that I didn't want to go because I didn't want to help him "look pretty for a bunch of skanky girls." (my words, not his) But it was pretty obvious from my tone of voice and my body language when I said it, that I didn't really think that I had to worry about him (doing anything to cause me to worry, or responding to the behavior of other girls) or about the behavior of the so-called skanky girls.

But now, like I already said, he's mad at me for saying that a few days ago and then for even telling him to have fun tonight, after he told me that he finds me to be increasingly jealous and insecure. I really do want him to have fun with his friends tonight...even if it does make me a little uncomfortable that he's going to be at a few different strip clubs, looking at (possibly more, too) pretty girls wearing next to nothing.

Oh, yeah...I was going to mention a little more about the wedding that he R.S.V.P.'d to saying that the both of us would go to. It's one of his really good friend's wedding...and last weekend, when the boy had said that he'd R.S.V.P.'d, I'd just assumed that he'd said that he was going alone (the off-the-cuff way that he mentioned it, the way that things have been going between the two of us and the fact that he didn't even ask me if I was able to go were my reasons for assuming that). But then Thursday, he told me that he had already said that the both of us were going and then, almost a week later, asked me if I was able to go. It's a good thing that the girls' parents can be flexible, and if I need to get out of there earlier for some reason, they understand and go with it because the wedding is on a Friday evening.

I don't like knowing that he thinks I'm a b****...or that he thinks I should just go find some other guy because he's given up trying to make me happy since he doesn't think that he can do it anymore...or that he lies to me more often than I can prove. But as long as he keeps doing something that makes me happy or giving me hope that he still loves me...then I'm going to continue being stupid and stay with him.

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