if someone said three years from now you'd be long gone I'd stand up and punch them out cos they're all wrong I know better cos you said "forever"

So...hooray for making it through the day without a hitch... And...that's not at all cryptic. :P



Anyway, if three years ago someone had said I wasn't going to get married today, I'd have thought they were crazy. Of course, I'd also have thought, maybe, just maybe they're right. Yeah, today was supposed to be my wedding...but that guy is now married to some other chick (if that seriously intrigues you, then look at the end of 2008 stuff) and I'm engaged to someone else. Someone who treats me better, actually follows through on promises (most of the time anyway, he's human so occasional mistakes are forgivable :)) and loves me for me. In a super cheesy line of thought, "Teenage Dream" is a pretty good representation of my thoughts.

Now if only we could actually agree on a plan for our wedding...

I pray your brakes go out running down a hill I pray a flowerpot falls from a window sill and knocks you in the head like I'd like to

[insert extremely frustrated scream]

::sigh:: Okay...so the other day when I mentioned something about being frustrated but not wanting to expand upon that, here's the explanation (the abridged version anyway ;)):

My dad is selling his house. No big deal because I understand his reasons for wanting to do so, it makes the most sense. Slight problem with him selling his house, I live in it. Until seeing something about banks temporarily halting foreclosures (just used the first news link I found in a Google search), my fiance and I were in the process of looking for a house. This is why I wasn't too worried about my dad choosing to sell his house. Well, after hearing the 'stop looking for a house' command, I got a little stressed in the "where am I going to live?" line of thinking. I was thinking, 'if I'm stressed to a manageable level with school (I need at least a 3.8 this semester in order to raise my g.p.a. to a breathable level for grad school applications), what happens when I go past that level stressing about unknown living arrangements?'

Umm...yeah...about that... My dad is never going to sell this house. Not if the way the previous three or four house showings have gone. Today just cemented my thought that stressing over living situations was irrational. Honestly, who wants to look at a house when the inhabitants/owners are home? And to top that off, a kitten is running around afraid of the strangers, a hyper puppy is jumping on you and it's a little hard to even look at one of the bedrooms because a teenager is sleeping in the bed and you can't see the floor in her room anyway. Yeah...what am I worried about?

Note: I wasn't actually home during the house showing because like a good girl, I didn't come straight home, so my scenario could be a lot off from the way actual events happened. But I do know that nobody who was expected to be home before 1:00pm this afternoon left the house.

can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars I could really use a wish right now (wish right now, wish right now)

*** SPOILER ALERT ***







Okay...that should be enough space and warning to anyone who has never seen the movie "Pay It Forward" and still wants to.

Anyway, tonight in my social work class we had to watch the movie "Pay It Forward" and my only opinion of the movie is that it's crap. Don't get me wrong, the idea behind the "pay it forward movement" is a great one. A little idealistic, but still a good idea. But the ending of the movie is so freaking unbelievable that any possibility I had of liking it went right out the window in the last 10 minutes of it. Seriously, a knife wound in someone's abdomen would not kill the person in a densely populated area such as Las Vegas. At least, not someone who is in relatively good health otherwise. Meaning, a 7^th grade boy would not die of a stab wound. He might have had a punctured lung or something else a little more serious than a scrape, but the lung is really the only vital organ in the area of the wound. Of course there is always the risk of death when general anesthesia is used, but that really didn't appear to be the cause of death in the movie.

::sigh:: I'm done ranting. Back to your regularly scheduled evening.

hearts break hearts mend love still hurts visions clash planes crash still there's talk of saving souls still the cold's closing in on us

Ugh...I have no idea what to write or how to write it!!! I'm super frustrated and really only see one option for fixing it. Unfortunately, it's an option I don't want. I don't know... Anyway...I should be working on my homework right now, but instead I'm online doing stupid things (e.g., facebook and blogging).

Basically, my problem comes down to I'm stressed out over things I have little control over and somehow with all this added stress, I'm supposed to get a 4.0 this semester and raise my g.p.a. so that I can actually apply for grad school without any worries. Yeah...so far, that ain't happening.

Hey, at least my volunteer activity is going well. I'm on track to start on the proposed start date of the program, so woo woo! Go me! :) And here comes my little spiel on getting you, the reader, involved, too:

If you are a male over the age of 21 (I think this is the cutoff age) and can pass a DHS background check [for working with children], then I highly suggest you look into a mentoring program near you. Many groups will only match a male youth with a male adult, and if there aren't enough adults, then all the eligible children don't get a mentor. :(

Okay, I'm done lecturing, or whatever it's called when someone does what I just did. Eventually maybe I'll be a little less cryptic as to what my frustration is, but for now I just don't want to overshare...