I couldn't turn on the TV without something there to remind me was it all that easy to just put aside your feelings

Day 25: A Song That Changed Your Opinion Of It's Artist
I didn't really like her with her first single. But then this song came out and I decided she was decent. After a while, the first song grew on me and I can tolerate it now.

I'll be lounging on the couch just chilling in my Snuggie click to MTV so they can teach me how to dougie 'cause in my castle I'm the freaking man

Day 24: The Best Song To Play While Working
I don't have a job. Yet. So I'm going to choose a song I like to have on while working on homework. That's work, too...

everytime I see your face my heart takes off on a high speed chase now don't be scared it's only love baby that we're falling in

Ahhh!! It's really happening. Monday, my fiancé picks up the moving truck and then on Tuesday, we move. I will no longer be living where I've grown up. Not the house, just the area. It's a state away and a big change. :)

Don't get me wrong, I'm looking forward to this change. It's exciting and scary all at the same time. As a last chance to see the people we wanted to before moving, we're meeting a bunch of our friends at a local bowling alley for fun today. Yesterday, my grandma and uncle went out to eat with us. It was nice (maybe because it's hard to go wrong at that restaurant). A little over a week ago, we saw his grandparents. Now I still have to call my other grandma and set something up with her. Way to go, procrastination.

I finally got around to setting up an appointment with a friend who does an amazing job on nails (only took about a year). Seriously, see the picture. :)

sendin' out the message to all of my friends we'll be looking flashy in my Mercedes Benz I got lot of style check my gold diamond rings I can go for miles if you know what I mean

Day 23: The Best Song To Get The Party Started
I'm going with the cop out. ;)

he didn't have much a pair of hard working hands everything that I needed I got it from the old man

Day 22: A Song You Hated At First That You Grew To Like
Originally I was going to go with Adele's "Rolling in the Deep." But that song is sooo overplayed in the Detroit area that I went from somewhat neutral towards it, to liking it, to hating it in a few short months. If I don't love a song to begin with and it's overplayed, I tend to dislike it after a while. And also, if I hate a song to begin with, I rarely, if ever, like the song at a later date. So now I'm going to go with...

invitation only grand farewells crash the best one of the best ones clear liquor and cloudy eyed too early to say goodnight

Day 21: A Song You Love But Reminds You Of Bad Times
This is easy. Just because as much as I love it, I can't listen to it anymore. Reminds me of what an idiot I was...

feels so good being bad there’s no way I’m turning back now the pain is my pleasure 'cause nothing could measure

Day 20: A Song You're Always Singing
I guess this is the same thing as what's stuck in my head, lol. So I am going to go with...

when he comes to me I am ready I'll wash his feet with my hair if he needs forgive him when his tongue lies through his brain even after three times he betrays me

Day 19: A Song That Is Overrated
Umm...anything by Lady Gaga. Don't get me wrong, I like a lot of her songs. But I think people hype them up waaaay too much.

how cruel is the golden rule when the lives we lived are only golden-plated and I knew that the lights of the city were too heavy for me though I carried karats for everyone to see

I'm going to try and experiment. I created a facebook account to go with this blog. It's my attempt to connect with any followers, fans, etc. that stumble upon this and want to be my friend. I will probably only update a couple of times a week, but, yeah... If you want to, let's be facebook friends!

got a brother down 'cause he's nothing to me yeah he's nothing to me everyone saying that it's wrong to cheat

Day 18: A Song That Is Underrated
Huh...this requires me to be more of an aficionado than I am, lol.

that I can change the world I would be the sunlight in your universe you will think my love was really something good baby if I could change the world

Hopefully this picture is easy to read (If not, right-click and view the image in a new tab. This will show the image at full size.). I started keeping track of my walking and biking on May 07, 2011 and 41 days later I have already logged 92.84 miles. While it doesn't seem like much, it's a lot for someone who's used to being a lazy bum, lol. I'm not obese, not even overweight yet (based on the BMI scale of 25 being overweight), but I don't want to get there. Based on family history, I don't need to put myself at an increased risk for high blood pressure, diabetes, etc. That's why I'm trying to better my eating habits, increase my level of activity and have fun with it. Because honestly, what [lazy] person likes exercise? Tricking yourself into exercise is a much better way. And that is just my untrained opinion.

yeah I'm sorry I can't afford a Ferrari but that don't mean I can't get you there I guess he's an Xbox and I'm more Atari but the way you play your game ain't fair

Day 17: A Song That Annoys You
Well...since I'm attempting to avoid using any repeats, I don't know what song to use for this challenge. But I think that this is a good choice...

I'm not a fan of this song when it's sung by Cee-lo Green and unedited. But when I heard this on Glee this past season, I was even less of a fan. I think the edited "Forget You" is ridiculous and annoying, so hearing it covered on a TV show I can't stand...

baby baby try to find a little time and I'll make you happy I'll be home I'll be waiting beside the phone waiting for you

Day 16: A Song That Reminds You Of Your School Days
I don't know if the original intention was to choose a song from elementary/grade school or not, but I'm going to pick a song that reminds me of high school. ¡¡Nerd Alert!! Every bus ride for the band competitions, we would listen to this...

(It's supposed to be a black screen.)

oh girl lets take it slow so as for you well you know where to go I want to take my love and hate you til the end

Day 15: A Song That Makes You Feel Embarrassed
There aren't any songs that make me feel nervous. It's more that I get nervous if there is someone around. Like, for example, no listening to "F*** You" Cee-lo Green, if my grandparents are around. That would upset them.

The Nutcracker ballet, Waltz of the Flowers

Day 14: Your Favourite Piece Of Classical Music
I like The Nutcracker, so I think a song from that suite is a good choice.

nants ingonyama bagithi baba sithi uhm ingonyama nants ingonyama bagithi baba sithi uhhmm ingonyama ingonyama

Day 13: A Song That Inspires You
Hmm...this is a tough one. I don't really think of any songs as inspiring. So I'm going to take the easy way out and Google inspiring songs and then pick the one I like the best. :)

so we planned it all out for the middle of June from the wedding cake to the honeymoon and your momma cried when you walked down the aisle when the preacher man said "say 'I do'" I did and you did too then I lifted that veil and saw your pretty smile and I said…

Day 12: The Perfect Song For Background Music
Ahahahahaha!! I'm just going to use the song that's playing right now, since I use any music for background noise. It ceases to be background when I turn up the volume. :)

there you go making my heart beat again heart beat again heart beat again there you go making me feel like a kid won't you do it and do it one time?

Day 11: The Song With The Best Music Video
Hmm...this is hard, because how do you define the criteria that constitutes "best"? While I do like the song, I wouldn't consider it one of my favorite songs. I just like the video a lot.

so baby come to me show me who you are sweet to me like sugar to my heart I'm cravin' for you I'm missin' you like candy

Day 10: The First Single You Ever Owned/Downloaded
Umm...I have no idea what this would be. I'm going to guess that this is the closest to the first I will think of.

I wanna hold you and love you In my arms and then I wanna need you 'cause I need to be with you till the end then I hear myself reply "she'll never let you in" this time tonight

Day 9: Your Favourite Song By A Boy Band/Group
Since an all male group is super easy to find, and I have plenty of favorites to choose from...I'm going to go with one I've liked since I was in middle school. :)

I’m through with doubt there’s nothing left for me to figure out I’ve paid a price and I’ll keep paying

Day 8: Your Favourite Song By A Girl Group/Band
Well...since The Donnas and the Dixie Chicks are the only all girl groups I can think of that I even like, I will choose...

ma chere mademoiselle, it is with deepest pride and greatest pleasure that we welcome you tonight and now we invite you to relax, let us pull up a chair as the dining room proudly presents - your dinner!

Day 7: Your Favourite Song From A Disney Soundtrack
D***! Too bad I used a Hercules song for the soundtrack day, lol. Guess I will just have to pick something else. How about this one...

you're so consumed with how much you get you waste your time with hate and regret you're broken when your heart's not open

Day 6: Your Favourite Song From The 1990's
I heart this song. And since I don't hear it that often, I thought it was a good choice.

'cause baby we'll be at the drive-in in the old man's Ford behind the bushes until I'm screamin' for more down the basement lock the cellar door and baby talk dirty to me

Day 5: Your Favourite Song From The 1980's
I'll go with the following song because it was on recently and my mom mentioned toddler me singing it. I can only imagine a toddler singing this song, lol.

hey hey mama said the way you move gonna make you sweat gonna make you groove ah ah child way you shake that thing gonna make you burn gonna make you sting

Day 4: Your Favourite Song From The 1970's
Umm...I have favorite songs from a lot of decades, but I don't always know what year a song came out. This one took a little research...just to make sure it was released in the time frame, lol.

off to college since you went away straight from high school you up and left me we were close friends also lovers did everything for one another

Day 3: Your Favourite Song By An Artist Who Is Now Dead
Well...this is easy but hard. If I'm in a rock mood, it's a Jimi song...if I'm in a poppy mood, it's an Aaliyah song. Since I don't think a band with a deceased member, but still living members should count. Yeah, the band is "dead" and a person from the band is dead, but there are still plenty of living people in the group. Besides, choosing from them as well would make this so much harder, lol.

can't you see I'm easily bothered by persistence one step from lashing out at you...you want in to get under my skin and call yourself a friend I've got more friends like you what do I do

Day 2: Your Favourite Cover
Hmm...I think I will go with...

if there's a prize for rotten judgement I guess I've already won that no man is worth the aggravation that's ancient history been there done that

Back in April I posted daily with posts dedicated to the 30 Day Song Challenge, well...it's back! This is part two, and again, for the next 30 days I will post with the songs I've chosen for each day. If I'm lucky, there will be no reposts of songs I used on the first challenge. There are actually two different set of challenges billed as part two on facebook, I chose to consider them parts two and three based on creation date. Where it's going to get tricky, is when I attempt to complete part three. Okay, let's get started...

Day 1: Your Favourite Song From A Movie Soundtrack
I always have a hard time choosing my favorite anything because it's hard to give one thing top billing. But this is relatively easy because I'm a huge fan of Disney and their animated films are practically musicals. So all I have to do is pick my favorite (at the moment) Disney song, lol. I will go with...

oh written in the stars a million miles away a message to the main ooooh seasons come and go but I will never change and I’m on my way

Since I don't really blog about my everyday life so much anymore, I thought that it'd be fun to do a different 30 Day Challenge each month that is 30 days long (April, June, etc.). Which means some research for me: gotta find more challenges to do. I've got one bookmarked to look at for September. But what about November? Maybe I will try the 30 Day Photo Challenge...but since I haven't really looked at it, I don't know if I want to do it on here. (Sorry, readers.)

I still plan on blogging about everyday stuff, too. Just maybe not as often. It's still just a for fun thing for me. :)

I wasted about an hour (while doing other things, like laundry as well) on facebook looking up the random 30 Day Challenges and now have enough for next year or so, lol. Who knows? Maybe now I'll do a different challenge each month, omitting February since it's two days short (and one day next year).

[Edited in blue at 6:15 pm]

and now I know how far you'd go to be the next freak show American psycho cover of the magazines patron saint to troubled teens wish I never heard your name

I don't know if anyone has noticed, but I recently added a new widget to the sidebar. It's from dailymile. My fiancé and I have decided to try and get healthier. The new widget is a tracker for my miles logged. They can be from any activity: walking, running, jogging, biking, etc. My miles are just from walking and biking. Who knows, maybe eventually I will add some other workouts.

For Christmas, my fiancé bought a Xbox 360 and the Kinect. So I bought Your Shape for the Kinect. Man!, that game can kick my butt (when I use it anyway). Both of us were doing a good job and using the Kinect on Monday, Wednesday and Friday and then the Wii on Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday. Sunday was supposed to be the rest and recover day. But then we started either biking or walking almost every where and I started to slack off in the daily exercise routine. I need to get back into the groove of things. At first, I was okay with missing a day if we rode our bikes somewhere, because I'm out of shape enough that it was pushing it past my limit to get both done efficiently. But I think that I could do all right if I started doing both. Especially when it's the yoga in Wii Fit Plus.

Now, I need to look into getting some lights for my bike. Safety precaution should we not be on our way home before it's getting dark. I should look into getting a bike helmet, but...yeah, I don't know.

baby I like it the way you move on the floor baby I like it come on and give me some more oh yes I like it screaming like never before baby I like it I, I, I like it

Within the last few months, I bought the Wireless Mobile Mouse 3500 from Microsoft.  But since I have no idea what I did with the warranty information, I think I'm just gonna give the darn thing away on craigslist or take it to the Salvation Army.  The stupid thing stopped working. I've only had it for a few months, and while, yes, it has a three year warranty, it does me no good if I don't know where the warranty info is.  And besides, I got it on sale at Best Buy for $14.99 and had a $15 off coupon. So basically, I got it for free. Hence my less than enthusiastic hunt for the warranty info. If I'd paid full price, or even the sale price, then I'd be more willing to look for the stuff.

I looked online (basically a google search) for why it's not working and everything I found said to call Microsoft and talk to them, go to the Microsoft site and reinstall the driver or I'm an idiot who can't change a battery.  Well, I just put a new battery in and reinstalling from the Microsoft site didn't work because when I plugged the receiver into my USB slot, it installed the latest software (which isn't the download available on Microsoft), so it couldn't install because a later version was already installed on my machine. ::sigh:: I hate Microsoft at times.

dirt road in his old truck lined with honeysuckles down that old beach bend saw the water through the trees and the way he looked at me with that sly southern grin and he said, "I hope you know how to swim"

Day 30: Your favorite song at this time last year
My favorite song at this time last year was...

but it's gonna take money a whole lotta spending money it's gonna take plenty of money to do it right child it's gonna take time a whole lotta precious time

Day 29: A song from your childhood
I think it's okay to pick a song that I would sing along to...and even sing on my own without the radio on.

said it's not fair how you take advantage of the fact that I...love you beyond the reason why and it just ain't right

Day 28: A song that makes you feel guilty
When I hear this song now, I don't feel guilty. A few years ago, when it came out...

somewhere over the rainbow skies are blue and the dreams that you dare to dream really do come true

Day 27: A song that you wish you could play
There isn't anything really, because even though I like music and can't imagine life without it...I don't like playing music. It's just doesn't appeal to me. And I think after six years of playing an instrument on an almost daily basis, I would know if I like playing music or not. So instead, I will just pick the song that I liked to play the best. :)

oh say can you see by the dawn's early light what so proudly we hailed at the twilight's last gleaming whose broad stripes and bright stars thru the perilous fight o'er the ramparts we watched were so gallantly streaming

Day 26: A song that you can play on an instrument
Well, this is easy, cuz there really aren't many songs that I can play. Basically just because I haven't picked up my flute and played something in ages. Therefore, I have to go with...

I'm a gummy bear yes I'm a gummy bear

Day 25: A song that makes you laugh
This is easy.

so much pain and so much darkness in this world we stumble through all these questions I can't answer so much work to do

Day 24: A song that you want to play at your funeral
Ugh, really? How the hell should I know? Just to be funny, I could say Queen "Another One Bites the Dust." But that's just cliché. Instead, I will pick... (just don't hold it to me and expect that in 30+ years I still want this song)

make me feel better when I’m feeling sad tell me I’m special even though I know I’m not make me feel good when I hurt so bad

Day 23: A song that you want to play at your wedding
This is easy, a song I want to hear when I marry my awesome, amazing, wonderful, caring and boatload of other positive things fiancé is...

come to bed don't make me sleep alone couldn't hide the emptiness you let it show never wanted it to be so cold just didn't drink enough to say you love me

Day 22: A song that you listen to when you’re sad
Just like yesterday...picking something relatively random.

I look up to the sky and now the world is mine I've known it all my life I made it I made it I used to dream about the life I'm living now I know that theres no doubt I made it I made it

I noticed that recently the videos aren't posting for whatever reason. When I compose the post, there isn't a problem and that's why I go ahead and post it. Some time soon I will go through and update any videos that say something about being unable to play from here.

Side note: I noticed that I have one less follower today than I had a couple of days ago. :( Maybe my musical tastes have turned that person off, lol.

I'm thinking about adding the Reactions feature to my blog, but I'm not sure yet. It's basically a "Like" button for Blogger. If anyone is willing to comment with his/her opinion, that would be cool.

I said the tragedy is how you're going to spend the rest of your nights with the light on so shine the light on all of your friends when it all amounts to nothing in the end

Day 21: A song that you listen to when you’re happy
Well...this is easy, yet hard because I don't choose music based on my mood. Volume of the music is what gets chosen based on my mood, lol. I think I'll go with...

before the story begins is it such a sin for me to take what's mine until the end of time we were more than friends before the story ends and I will take what's mine create what God would never design

Day 20: A song that you listen to when you’re angry
This is easy, just pick a song I like and turn it up really loud. That's really all I do when angry: try and drown out the world. So...let me hit random and choose...

so why do we choose the boys that are naughty I don't fit in so why do you want me and I know I can't tame you...but I just keep trying

Day 19: A song from your favorite album
Hmmm...this is a lot like favorite song or favorite artist. How do I choose just one? I think I will have to choose...

I wanna live before I die so don't say I have to cry on one more freezing floor I ask you to open the door and see how things could have gone

Day 18: A song that you wish you heard on the radio
Hmm...I guess anything by Katy Rose. She's really the only artist that I like to listen to that doesn't seem to have any singles on the radio. Most of the music I listen to is on the radio, maybe not as often as I'd like, but at some point in the day, I should hear at least one song by the artist.

and I guess we're really over so come over I'm not over it late night you make me feel like I'm desperate I'm not desperate oh a little bit possessive little miss obsessive can't get over it

So...I should be working on my APA proposal right now, seeing how I need to have it done by the end of tomorrow if I want my teacher to be able to check it for plagiarism before I turn it in and risk academic ruin. But instead, I'm wasting time with music. Oh, well...I ♥ music. It makes me happy. Also, I ♥ my boyfriend lots and lots because he got music for me. Now I can listen to Ashlee Simpson, Bruno Mars and Britney Spears whenever I want to.

Okay, now to work on my homework some more...

I'm about to lose my mind you've been gone for so long I'm running out of time I need a doctor call me a doctor I need a doctor doctor to bring me back to life

Day 17: A song that you hear often on the radio
This is easy. As much as I like Eminem and like the song, it's on a lot.

I promise I might not walk on by maybe next time but not this time

Day 16: A song that you used to love but now hate
Hmmm, this seemed easier when I first saw this challenge. Now that I have to pick a song, it's not as easy as I thought it would be. So...I think it's going to be...

I am beautiful no matter what they say words can't bring me down I am beautiful in every single way yes words can't bring me down so don't you bring me down today

Day 15: A song that describes you
This is hard... I have no clue what song to pick. I guess I will go with this...

it's in your head all the voices mistaken shake it off shake it off we're all dying in the end

Day 14: A song that no one would expect you to love
Umm...people who actually know me wouldn't be surprised by any song that I like. My musical tastes are all over the place. But based on my last few posts, I think anything that's not Britney Spears might surprise people, lol. I will have to go with...

my tummys turnin' and I'm feelin' kinda home sick too much pressure and I'm nervous that's when the D.J. dropped my favorite tune and a Britney song was on and the Britney song was on and the Britney song was on

Day 13: A song that is a guilty pleasure
Hmm...this is hard because I don't know which one to pick, lol. So, I think this is the best choice...

such a lonely day and it's mine the most loneliest day of my life

Day 12: A song from a band you hate
This one is too easy. The only hard part is listening to a song long enough to copy the code to embed it, lol. I will most definitely have to go with...



And of course the song that is first on their youtube page is probably the one that bothers me the most, lol.

be be the one I need be the one I trust most don't stop inspiring me sometimes it's hard to keep on running

Day 11: A song from your favorite band
Oh em gee...so hard!! Lol, just like my favorite song, I have to say it's extremely hard to pick my favorite band and then pick a song from them. It changes with my mood...since I think this might be my top favorite...

hush little baby don't say a word momma's gonna buy you a mockingbird

Day 10: A song that makes you fall asleep
Wow, umm...yeah...I don't know. I can't say that any song makes me fall asleep...but then again, I fall asleep with the radio on almost every night so it's possible to say that any song makes me fall asleep. So...I will have to choose...

I can't take it take it take no more never felt like felt like this before come on get me get me on the floor DJ what you what you waiting for?

Day 9: A song that you can dance to
Umm, I'm not much of a dancer. Y'know, that whole I'm ridiculously uncoordinated and too self-conscious, lol. But...I'm going to have to go with...

my loneliness is killing me I must confess I still believe when I'm not with you I lose my mind give me a sign hit me baby one more time

Day 8: A song that you know all the words to
This one is super easy. I have to go with...

I look just like Buddy Holly oh-oh and you're Mary Tyler Moore I don't care what they say about us anyway I don't care 'bout that

Day 7: A song that reminds you of a certain event
Eww, that's easy once I think about it. Also, the reason I don't like Weezer anymore...

sometimes I feel the fear of incertainty sting clear and I can't help but ask myself how much I let the fear take the wheel and steer

Day 6: A song that reminds you of somewhere
This is hard...I don't associate songs with places. Hmm, I guess I can pick a song that makes me think of lunch in high school...

I don't believe Adam and Eve Spent every godd*** day together If you give me some room there will be room enough for two

Day 5: A song that reminds you of someone
This is super easy, a song that reminds me of someone is...

cowgirls don't cry ride baby ride lessons of life are going to show you in time soon enough you're gonna know why it's gonna hurt every now and then

Day 4: A song that makes you sad
Umm...yeah, this is all too easy as well. I'm going to go with...

is it the look in your eyes or is it this dancing juice? who cares baby I think I wanna marry you

Day 3: A song that makes you happy
This is pretty easy since it's my ringtone for texts because I like the song. :)

it's Friday Friday gotta get down on Friday everybody's lookin' forward to the weekend weekend

Day 2: Your least favorite song
This, too, is a hard one for me, but only because there are a couple artists that I absolutely can not stand whatsoever and choosing a least fave is hard. So...my least favorite song is...

pretty pretty please don't you ever ever feel like you're less than f***in' perfect

On facebook, people keep posting songs for the 30 Day Song Challenge. So...I figured, I would do it here since it makes more sense to me to do that. Plus, it means more posts for you to enjoy. :)

Day 1: Your favorite song
This is a hard one for me because my favorite song changes with my mood. Today, I think it's okay to say my favorite song is...

I'm just a step away I'm just a breath away losin' my faith today fallin' off the edge today

Maybe if I had been born an only child or the youngest, I wouldn't feel such a need to take care of people...or get so pissed off at 'em either.

Ugh...I should be studying for a midterm right now, so maybe it's a good thing I can't figure out how to word my thoughts. Not having anything intelligible to write means less time spent doing something other than schoolwork...

if someone said three years from now you'd be long gone I'd stand up and punch them out cos they're all wrong I know better cos you said "forever"

So...hooray for making it through the day without a hitch... And...that's not at all cryptic. :P



Anyway, if three years ago someone had said I wasn't going to get married today, I'd have thought they were crazy. Of course, I'd also have thought, maybe, just maybe they're right. Yeah, today was supposed to be my wedding...but that guy is now married to some other chick (if that seriously intrigues you, then look at the end of 2008 stuff) and I'm engaged to someone else. Someone who treats me better, actually follows through on promises (most of the time anyway, he's human so occasional mistakes are forgivable :)) and loves me for me. In a super cheesy line of thought, "Teenage Dream" is a pretty good representation of my thoughts.

Now if only we could actually agree on a plan for our wedding...

I pray your brakes go out running down a hill I pray a flowerpot falls from a window sill and knocks you in the head like I'd like to

[insert extremely frustrated scream]

::sigh:: Okay...so the other day when I mentioned something about being frustrated but not wanting to expand upon that, here's the explanation (the abridged version anyway ;)):

My dad is selling his house. No big deal because I understand his reasons for wanting to do so, it makes the most sense. Slight problem with him selling his house, I live in it. Until seeing something about banks temporarily halting foreclosures (just used the first news link I found in a Google search), my fiance and I were in the process of looking for a house. This is why I wasn't too worried about my dad choosing to sell his house. Well, after hearing the 'stop looking for a house' command, I got a little stressed in the "where am I going to live?" line of thinking. I was thinking, 'if I'm stressed to a manageable level with school (I need at least a 3.8 this semester in order to raise my g.p.a. to a breathable level for grad school applications), what happens when I go past that level stressing about unknown living arrangements?'

Umm...yeah...about that... My dad is never going to sell this house. Not if the way the previous three or four house showings have gone. Today just cemented my thought that stressing over living situations was irrational. Honestly, who wants to look at a house when the inhabitants/owners are home? And to top that off, a kitten is running around afraid of the strangers, a hyper puppy is jumping on you and it's a little hard to even look at one of the bedrooms because a teenager is sleeping in the bed and you can't see the floor in her room anyway. Yeah...what am I worried about?

Note: I wasn't actually home during the house showing because like a good girl, I didn't come straight home, so my scenario could be a lot off from the way actual events happened. But I do know that nobody who was expected to be home before 1:00pm this afternoon left the house.

can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars I could really use a wish right now (wish right now, wish right now)

*** SPOILER ALERT ***







Okay...that should be enough space and warning to anyone who has never seen the movie "Pay It Forward" and still wants to.

Anyway, tonight in my social work class we had to watch the movie "Pay It Forward" and my only opinion of the movie is that it's crap. Don't get me wrong, the idea behind the "pay it forward movement" is a great one. A little idealistic, but still a good idea. But the ending of the movie is so freaking unbelievable that any possibility I had of liking it went right out the window in the last 10 minutes of it. Seriously, a knife wound in someone's abdomen would not kill the person in a densely populated area such as Las Vegas. At least, not someone who is in relatively good health otherwise. Meaning, a 7^th grade boy would not die of a stab wound. He might have had a punctured lung or something else a little more serious than a scrape, but the lung is really the only vital organ in the area of the wound. Of course there is always the risk of death when general anesthesia is used, but that really didn't appear to be the cause of death in the movie.

::sigh:: I'm done ranting. Back to your regularly scheduled evening.

hearts break hearts mend love still hurts visions clash planes crash still there's talk of saving souls still the cold's closing in on us

Ugh...I have no idea what to write or how to write it!!! I'm super frustrated and really only see one option for fixing it. Unfortunately, it's an option I don't want. I don't know... Anyway...I should be working on my homework right now, but instead I'm online doing stupid things (e.g., facebook and blogging).

Basically, my problem comes down to I'm stressed out over things I have little control over and somehow with all this added stress, I'm supposed to get a 4.0 this semester and raise my g.p.a. so that I can actually apply for grad school without any worries. Yeah...so far, that ain't happening.

Hey, at least my volunteer activity is going well. I'm on track to start on the proposed start date of the program, so woo woo! Go me! :) And here comes my little spiel on getting you, the reader, involved, too:

If you are a male over the age of 21 (I think this is the cutoff age) and can pass a DHS background check [for working with children], then I highly suggest you look into a mentoring program near you. Many groups will only match a male youth with a male adult, and if there aren't enough adults, then all the eligible children don't get a mentor. :(

Okay, I'm done lecturing, or whatever it's called when someone does what I just did. Eventually maybe I'll be a little less cryptic as to what my frustration is, but for now I just don't want to overshare...

you made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter you are the best thing that's ever been mine

So...the other day I received an email from a reader of this blog (hopefully she doesn't mind me using her real name) asking why I don't blog as often anymore. Well, Claudia, I appreciate you taking the time to email me. The biggest reason that I don't blog as often anymore is that my migraines have been getting more frequent and a big trigger of them is too much time in front of a computer screen. Basically, I try to limit my use as much as possible.

And since I'm not too sure how caught up on the posts you are, I can say for sure that my romantic relationship is going really well. But hey, that comment could've just jinxed it, lol. Anyway, we're engaged...tentatively planning on a July 2011 wedding. My family relationships...eh, they are what they are. Good days and bad days, but who doesn't have a less-than-perfect relationship? Anyone who claims not to, has got to be lying.

let's waste time chasing cars around our heads I need your grace to remind me to find my own

Of the three cars that have been bought for me since I started driving, I never asked for any of them. The first one I was offered as a gift...and my then stepsister took control of it and promptly wrecked it. The second one, become available and I was asked if I wanted it. Why say "no" to a free car? I had it for a while, till I screwed it up and it needed to be replaced. The third one, obviously, was a replacement for the second car. I almost wish I'd never been given it. I always joke around and say that my car is going to kill me. Or that I wish that it would blow up without me in it. And now...I'm dead serious when I say that my car is a ticking time bomb and is going to kill me. The stupid thing leaks oil from God knows where, mysteriously loses trans fluid over time and recently started leaking gasoline. And of course, being an older vehicle, it does have a few (very minor) cosmetic flaws, that even though I find them embarrassing reminders of my car's age, I can live with and have been living with them.

Anyway, the whole point of this rant/history, is that I need a new car and for the first time in the history of me driving, I asked for help buying a new car. Now, no one will listen to me and just wants to do what s/he thinks is best for me. Never mind the fact that I've done the work myself, found a decent vehicle (it has a Carfax report available!) and under $2k. But everyone is so worried about what's "best" for me, that no one has bothered to listen to what I have to say. And y'know what is the best part of the scenario: I didn't ask if my uncle would buy the car for me, I asked if he would be willing to help me buy a new car. Meaning that I didn't expect him to pay for it for me, that I expected to pay him back for whatever he paid for. ::shrug:: If anyone had bothered to listen to me, ask my thoughts, they would have realized that.

I would've been better off applying for a car loan, getting denied and taking the bus.

well, who are you? I really wanna know tell me, who are you? 'cause I really wanna know

Hey, followers! Wanna be awesome and leave a comment telling me who you are? It's just that most of you don't have a picture, so I have no clue who you are. And it would be nice to know just who thinks my rambling is even worth listening to. :P

noddin' my head like yeah movin' my hips like yeah and I got my hands up they're playin my song I know I'm gonna be ok yeah it's a party in the USA

Woo woo!! I am feeling pretty awesome at the moment! :D Mostly cuz I logged and noticed that I have eight - Eight!! - followers to my blog now. How cool is that?

Yeah, okay, eight is not a lot by any means...but when you're a "nobody" and strangers think you're interesting enough to read the ramblings of yours, then yeah, it's a big deal.

Anyway...that was all. Carry on now...

it's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now said I wouldn't call but I lost all control

::sigh:: Maybe my boyfriend is just as awesome as I think he is. I know that I suck at showing him that I appreciate him and all that he does for me, but I'm trying. And luckily for me, he knows that. I really don't want to go into any detail about what I was talking to him about last night that has me on this 'praise the boyfriend' train of thought...but I love him. :)

Anyway...my real reason for wanting to start this post was that I totally wish that I was living on my own. Too bad, any job interviews I have go nowhere. It's frustrating. Hell, I even decided to look outside of my comfort zone (taking care of kids) to other types of work. I'd be more specific, but I honestly forgot where I've applied and where I've only thought about applying. ::sigh:: After the past few days, I have really been wishing that I was able to live on my own...but of course, now that I need to put gas in my car, I'm broke and need to ask my dad to pay for it. :/ At least I have a car that is relatively good on gas, so one tank takes me pretty far. See? This is why I can't live on my own.

Currently, I'm sitting in class...and as much as I like the topic (Drugs, Behavior and Society...it's a psych course), I'm starting to dislike my teacher. Don't get me wrong, he still seems like a nice guy and a pretty good teacher, I'm just not liking some of his opinions. Oh, well...as long as he continues to make the tests fact-based, I can deal with differing opinions.

Meh...I'm done with this post. Maybe the annoying, know-it-all commenter from the last post will find this one and give me another armchair psychoanalysis.

I've been to the year 3000 not much has changed but they lived underwater and your great-great-great grandaughter Is doing fine (doing fine)

I so very wish that I could see the future. Not all of it either, just a tiny glimpse so that I could know if I'm happy and healthy...and all that good stuff. More realistically, I just want to see how old I live to be. I don't have high expectations for life to be kind to me and let me live a long, eventful life. I expect fate to be cruel and get rid of me in the "prime of my life." I'm just moody and resentful lately. And extremely pissed off at the world. I know how to fix it...it's just that it takes time, and I'm very impatient. Oh, well...

Anyway... In a completely unrelated note, I'm pretty sure that I'm going to drop my bio class. I can't stand the teacher (she's probably a very nice woman, but the view I get of her is condescending and hates her job as a professor) and I don't have the desire/motivation to pass the class with the highest possible grade that I can earn.

Also...completely random, but I noticed today that I have four followers. That's two more than I previously knew about! :) Which means, a couple of random strangers like me!! Yay!!

this is my temporary home it's not where I belong windows and rooms that I'm passin' through

::sigh:: I honestly don't know how much longer I can do this. My family used to be so close...and now, I have no clue what the hell any of them are doing. I wish that I could just say that it's because the kids are older and on their own...but that's not true. Not even close. Aside from one of my younger siblings, all are still minors (under 18 years old). It's just so f***ing amazing how my mom and stepdad are so readily able to cut off contact with a family member. I mean, I've known that since I was about 14y/o...but honestly, I never thought that I'd be the next family member that they cut off all contact with. And I'm sorry, but stupid little apps on facebook do not count as contact (sorry, Mom). Only my dad seems to have voluntary contact with me. My grandparents have never been the ones to call me, so I don't count them in my family hatred. The sad thing is...I don't even hate any of my family. I'm just super hurt, upset and confused. And I wish that with every new revelation in my family relationships, it didn't hurt me and stress me out so much. That's the part that I can't keep doing. But...it's partly my fault since I'm mega-hesitant to completely cut my ties to them. I'm just afraid that if I do what they've been doing for almost six months now, that it'll be completely over and never repaired.

I just want to quit everything and disappear. It's not like anyone is going to miss me. Okay, that's a lie...but I know that the few who would miss me, would get over it and in a relatively short period of time, too. ::shrug:: I'm replaceable...it's okay.

and though there are times when I hate you 'cause I can't erase the times that you hurt me and put tears on my face

How do you learn to trust people when the people you do trust keep hurting you? I don't get it...what is it about me that says, 'hurt me!'? Because there must be something that just screams that. What else is it? My stellar ability to judge people? Ha, that's probably it more than anything else. I keep trusting the wrong people and it just keeps making my majorly huge trust issues worse. And if things continue the way that they have been...I'm not gonna trust anyone at all. I don't want that. I don't want to be broken. I hate crying. I don't care what anyone says, it is a sign of weakness. I'm just a mess of a person...no wonder people can't stand me.

I don't even know what to say because I don't want to make things worse than they already are. But I so need to vent and get things off my chest so that I'm not holding it all in.

Ugh...I need to do my physics homework...but all I want to do is cry. It sucks.

she wants to go home but nobody's home that's where she lies broken inside has no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes broken inside

I think it's pretty s***ty that I had to find out about a family (and I use the term "family" pretty loosely since I don't seem to count anymore) thing on facebook. Yet, when my 21y/o brother didn't live in the house, my mom would always call him to make sure that he knew about stuff and was going to make it. But nobody bothered to tell me about a family dinner for my grandpa's birthday...I had to find out about it by reading about it hours after the fact on facebook by seeing my mom's status update. Awesome, huh?

And then earlier tonight, I had to go over my mom's house for something...and the only person remotely happy to see me was Chance, not even a person. The f***ing puppy was the only one who even cared to see me. My mom only wanted to see me so that she got her f***ing money (there goes my tuition money, hope she's happy about that)...and my 12y/o brother didn't even say two words to me. I think he talked in my direction, but it was more to the dog than it was to me.

I really just want to know when, if ever, I'm going to get over this need for love and acceptance from my family... Because this seeming unwant and unlove from them is killing me. I can't handle it. The toxic relationships I have with my family members... I just don't know what to do anymore...

because of you I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt because of you I find it hard to trust not only me but everyone around me

I just don't get it. I honestly don't. Why does he wait until my mom is out doing something to tell me something stressful? Every time, too. Is it because my mom doesn't know that he's planning on telling me whatever it is? Or is it because she's too much of a coward to be present when he tells me?

I'm starting to think that I might just honestly and truly hate my mom. She just stands by and says nothing while her husband is an a**hole towards me [and her other three kids, too]. It's one thing if she doesn't know in advance that he's planning on saying something, but to just stare at me like I'm a f***ing idiot and making s*** up when I tell her about it...? I just can't stand her anymore. It's as though she doesn't care about her children, anything so long as she doesn't upset her husband. I hate it.

As long as I'm going to school, I don't have to pay rent...or at least, that had always been the deal my mom and stepdad had for me. Yesterday afternoon, my a**hole stepfather asked me if I had a job and then asked if I was going to school. Umm...summer classes already started everywhere and I only get financial aid for two semesters per school year: fall and winter semesters. So he told me to get a job...and pretty much made it sound like it doesn't matter if I'm going to school or not, I'm going to have to pay rent. I am trying to find a job...but it's really not going well. And he waited until after my mom had left to go grocery shopping to bring this up.

I just don't understand what is so godd*** unlikable about me. I mean, I was only four years old when I met either of my stepparents...yet, the entire time either one was/has been a part of my life, all s/he's wanted to do is get me out of his/her life. I'm a good person...right? I mean, yeah, I know I have my flaws just like any other person does...but that doesn't make me a bad person. Does it?

whenever you remember times gone by remember how we held our heads so high when all this world was there for us

I decided that I would reflect on this since it's now been up for two years exactly. Yeah, yeah...I know, if one looks over at the archives list on the right in the sidebar, it shows that it goes back as far as 2005 which would make my math of 2y off. Except that all of the posts that are dated before 02.08.07 are originally from my MySpace blog...so the very first time that I posted anything on here was on 02.08.07.

Anyway...for each year, there are more posts than the last (omitting this year because it's only the second week of the second month). Last year, there are nearly 250 posts! I doubt that I'm going to top that this year, though. I've kinda been lax on posting anything. I just haven't felt like it. I don't know why.

I got my feet on the ground and I don't go to sleep to dream you got your head in the clouds and you're not at all what you seem

My horoscope from Cosmo for today says...

Libra - Single? Going through the men's department in a pricey store (pretend you're shopping for your dad) might turn up a cuddle-worthy guy. Attached? Whether it's you or him on top, full-body contact sparks a passionate hookup under the sensual Moon.

Well...technically, I do have to shop for my daddy, since his birthday is tomorrow. But...I highly doubt anything would come of this horoscope.

And yay for sleep!! I didn't get up until 12:50p today...well, actually I woke up a little startled and confused at about 8:15a thinking that I had school today, but then I realized that it was Saturday and quickly turned my alarm off when it went off about a minute after I got up and went back to sleep. I haven't been sleeping well lately.

you spin my head right 'round right 'round when you go down when you go down down...you spin my head right 'round right 'round when you go down down..

I don't remember what I was going to write about. It probably wasn't important. Oh, well...maybe the longer I leave the 'create' window open, I might remember what it was...

All right...well...I left it open for over an open and couldn't remember what my original intent was. So...I'm just gonna head to bed, since it's just after midnight and I have to get up at 6:15a.

G'night!!

[2:01p 01.28.09 - edited to add:] I think I remember what I wanted to write about. My bio prof wasn't as boring this morning. She actually had some emotion in her voice on occasion. It was a miracle!! Class was still boring as hell though. Oh, well...I'm still hoping that it's going to pick up and get more interesting when we get to something that hasn't already been covered in more detail in one of my other bio courses.

Happy birthday, T*** B****!

Can he really get mad at me for that?

love me hate me say what you want about me but all of the boys and all of the girls are begging to if you seek Amy

So...I'm either paranoid or just pessimistic. Not sure which one. But either way, I'm under the impression that I don't really have friends anymore. It kinda sucks. But I guess it's a good thing that I'm making new friends in class. (Which by the way, is going pretty crappily - the classes I mean.) But anyway, I'm currently under the impression that either my friends have either done a mass abandonment of me or I've done something to alienate all of them. And I'm more likely to believe it's the latter of the two than the former, because why would the first be likely? That just makes me insanely paranoid.

Anyway...I like my organic chem I 1240 prof. She's really upbeat and seems like she genuinely cares about us getting the material. Such a change from last semester. I have a feeling that I may get a B in the class this semester. I'm not going to sound overconfident and say something like an A and then be disappointed when I don't get that. In 1250, the prof. is sick and hasn't been in lecture yet, but she's supposed to be back in class next week...but I already know that I mostly like her. I just don't care for her on test days. I do not like my lab TA, he's so annoying. I wish I had the same TA as last semester. He was pretty cool. Oh, well... I haven't met my TA for quiz class yet, so I don't know anything about him.

My bio prof. is boring and dry. She gives off the impression that she hates teaching and is only doing it because she has to. She kinda gave off the vibe that we should not email her, call her or go to her office hours ever. It was like, ohhhh-kaaaay...and you're teaching, why? Yeah, I got the impression she knows her stuff, but seriously, if you don't want to teach, then please don't.

I don't feel like I'm going to do well in my calc II class...but so far I like my prof. He seems like a really cool guy. He tried to make his office hours as accomodating as possible to as many of the students in the class as he could. He seems to be enthusiastic about the subject as well. And that's a feat in itself at 8:30 in the morning. I don't know how to do any of my calc II homework...and there's a quiz in the morning. Yeah, we get to drop a few quizzes, but what good is that going to do me if I don't know how to do the calc I stuff? Doesn't calc II build on calc I? ::sigh:: I don't remember the calc I, so I think that I may be dropping down to the calc I class...

vindicated I am selfish I am wrong I am right I swear I'm right swear I knew it all along and I am flawed but I am cleaning up so well

Here's the weekly round-up for the week...

.:. So sad...poor baby...

Okay...there was going to be more, but I just didn't feel like going through the stuff I looked at this week. Sorry. It was the first week back to school. I was busy.

And last but not least, here's some amusement from Overheard in New York...

Now I Have Twenty Cats, but Nothing's Changed
Lonely cat lady: Remember a few years back when I had ten cats? I knitted ten of these adorable little stockings for them, and I filled each one with catnip. Well, I never did that again!
Passenger: Why? Did they all freak out over the catnip?
Lonely cat lady: No, they didn't even appreciate all the work that went into it. They just ignored them.
-- Midtown NJ Tranist

Do You Want Pre-op or Post-op?
Older worn-out assistant: Do you know how hard it is to find an on-call tranny hooker?
Suit: On-call?
-- 51st St & Park Ave

I Thought This Was a Bus
Conductor #1: We are sorry for the delay, there is a stalled e train at 7th Avenue. We will be going uptown on the...uhm...which line are we going on?
Conductor #2 (exasperated): I have no f***ing clue.
(train laughs)
-- E Train

That's Not What Papi Says
Young African American child pulling mother's hand: Ándale! Ándale!
African American mother: Cut that out! You're not Mexican!
-- 103 & Amsterdam

It's Like a Blessing from God
Woman to guy, about guys making moves on drunk girls they are friends with: So, why do you guys do something like that? It never works.
Guy: Sure, 9 times out of 10 it doesn't work, but that one time you score.
Woman: But aren't those other 9 times really awkward and damaging to your friendship?
Man: Yeah, but there's that one time where you get sex you really weren't expecting!
-- Fiddlesticks Bar

I Swear I'm Wearing This Trash Bag Ironically
Drunk man: I'm sitting between a homeless man and a hipster!
Supposed homeless man: I'm the hipster, right?
-- L Train

Closed the Deal, Though
Model-looking chick: Hey, sorry I'm late. I had to work extra hours at work today.
Not-so-model-looking chick: No problem, that sounds like it sucked, what did you have to stay after for?
Model-looking chick: Oh, I f***ed my client.
-- 13th St b/w 1st & 2nd Ave

You're Still Coming Over for Thanksgiving, Right?
Hobo (screaming): Steve! Steve!
Teen guy to girl: Hold on one second. (walks back to homeless man) Hey, man! How are you?
Hobo: I'm good. How's your dad doing?
Teen guy: He's good, I'll say hi to him for you.
-- 90th & Madison

But She Did This, Instead
Female hipster #1: Oh my god, I love your haircut!
Female hipster #2: Thanks...I asked for a mix of Suri Cruise, Anna Wintour and Nicole Richie circa 2005.
-- 27th St & 7th St

You Tell Me Your Dreams and I'll Tell You Mine
Math professor to sleeping student: Hey, are you okay?
Student: Nuh?
Math professor to class: Well, I've rarely killed someone during a lecture, but I must be breaking new ground today.
-- Hunter College

Is That Why You and Mommy Have Handcuffs?
Father to child standing in shopping cart: Suzie, sit down in the cart, standing isn't safe and it breaks the rules.
Suzie: No!
Father, heading towards checkout and spotting police officer fiddling with handcuffs: You see that policeman? If you don't sit down he's going to take you to jail. Oh look, he's taking out his handcuffs and he's going to arrest you now. (Suzie sits immediately)
-- Kmart, Astor Place

In a Big Red Suit?
Upset three-year-old: I wanna see the balloons go up in the sky!
Father: We'll see it all on tv in the morning and guess who will be at the end of the parade. He's a very very special guest.
Upset three-year-old (now sobbing): Barack Obama.
-- 81st & Columbus (Macy's Balloon Inflation Site)

Just a Vestige, Like Your Tail
Mother to daughter wearing a Pink Princess backpack: Hold up, honey, mommy needs to get something out of your bag.
(mother removes pack of cigarettes and lighter from bag)
Husband to wife: You have no shame.
-- Central Park

The Five-Second Rule Does Not Apply to Buses
Disgusted mother to little girl who picked up a Swedish fish she dropped on the bus floor: Don't eat that.
Little girl, dusting it off: It's okay, I'll kiss it up to god.
Mother: Don't you dare put that in your mouth. You have no idea what was on the floor.
Little girl, putting it in her mouth and chewing it: It's okay! I kissed it up to god! (swallows it) What are you going to do about it?
Mother, angrily: I'm not going to do anything. You're just going to die.
-- Q18 Bus

Awww, Wednesday One-liners
Boy with ice cream: Does the five-second rule apply to sidewalks?
-- 92nd & Madison
...and there are two more one liners...

Wednesdays You Don't Need, at One-Liners You Can't Afford
Girl: I was so depressed. I actually almost bought that leather jacket from Express. Whose bright idea was it to have the MCAT testing center in a shopping district?
-- 1 Train
...and there are five more one liners...

Boomsday One-Liners
20-something girl to friend, after large explosion is heard: Well, I'm from Detroit, so when I hear things like that it doesn't even bother me.
-- Union Square Holiday Market
...and there are five more one liners...

Jurassic Wednesday One-Liners
College guy: These are the best dinosaurs I've eaten all day!
-- Fordham University, Lincoln Center Campus

Ecstatic five-year-old girl: The dinosaurs! I can't wait to see the dinosaurs!
-- Metropolitan Museum of Art

Hippie girl: Yeah, I don't know about the eyeballs, but the dinosaurs are great!
-- 39th St & 8th Ave

Girl on stoop: Yo, man, I wish our dinosaurs could talk.
-- St. Mark's & 3rd

Girl on cell: Because--you know what? Because I don't etch on my DVDs with pterodactyls!
-- Court Street, Brooklyn Heights

Guy rooting through trash: If you were a dinosaur I'd be a dinosaur right beside you.
-- W 80th & Amsterdam

come on get on get on take it 'til life runs out no one can find us now living with our heads underground

Ugh...school starts up again tomorrow. I'm dreading it. But at least, next Monday is a holiday and there's no school. Hooray for celebrating Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.'s life!!

Anyway...lately I've had some stuff on my mind. And I'm not sure what to do about it. I'm currently just ignoring it...mostly because I think that I'm making something out of nothing.

I think it was on Tuesday that my camera finally got here. I still have to go out and buy at least one SD card for it though, since any pictures that I take are currently saved to the internal memory. That'll fill up soon.

I'm so not looking forward to getting up at 6:00-6:30a tomorrow morning, and every weekday morning after that for the next 15 weeks. Oh, well...

see all those guys wanna come treat you right cuz ya sweeter than apple pie everything that you want you got girl you know that you need to stop

Here's the weekly round-up for the first full week of 2009...

.:. ::sigh:: Is this all over yet? Because just the other day, this made the top of the MSN homepage...
.:. Not a good thing to be saying: "it's like bumper cars out there"
.:. A six-year-old drove himself to school - well, almost anyway - because he didn't want to miss school. He's lucky he didn't get hurt more seriously.
.:. Umm, okay...so this thing on crash-detecting sensors in BMWs was interesting, but also way too hard for me to get through. So...if anyone gets through it and can sum it up in 1-2 sentences for me, that'd be great, thanks!!
.:. I don't think I'd (at least, I hope I don't) ever get to the point of needing to visit the home dentist.
.:. Eep!! This kid has way more courage than I ever would in that situation (think 9y/o versus attacking pit bull).
.:. ::shudder:: Just gross...and disturbing. So glad that my job is not to swipe blow-up dolls for forensic evidence...
.:. This is pretty cool...a doctor from Novi, MI may become the U.S. Surgeon General.
.:. Interesting...an $80 million movie complex in metro Detroit...at least it would stimulate the economy...
.:. Just weird...thousands of shoes make the morning commute worse.
.:. Well...I guess that would be cool to find in the estate of a loved one...even if you're not a car person (which I'm not).
.:. Some sketches accidentally found...pretty cool, check it out.
.:. Aww, a flirting class for the nerds!! How cute!!
.:. A museum of failed romances...do you think it's going to be as popular as PostSecret?
.:. I would be frantic if I lost my diamond in a museum!!
.:. What a strange little creature...caught on film, too.
.:. Somebody didn't think this one all the way through. ::shakes head::
.:. What a good mule!!
.:. Please tell me, just what made these parents think that the moniker they bestowed upon their child wouldn't cause problems [for the kid]?
.:. Tragic...what possessed him to go to that extreme? Poor kid...
.:. Poor baby...poor kids...why? Just why? I'm sure there were other options...

And last but not least, some amusement from Overheard in New York...

Wednesday One-Liners Win the Door Prize
Conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, please stand clear of the closing doors. If I catch you holding the doors open, I will push you off the train and if you don't die, then you'll have to catch the next one.
-- NJ Transit
...and there are four more one liners...

Wait-- Didn't You Give Your Mom Hoop Earrings for Christmas?
Girl, telling joke: A seven-year-old daughter said to her mother: "Today in school I learned where babies come from."
Mother: "Oh, really?"
Daughter: "Yeah, a mommy and daddy take off all their clothes, the mommy makes the dad happy and his thingy stands up a little. Then the mommy puts the thingy in her mouth and the thingy stands up all the way and explodes, and that's where babies come from."
Mother: "No, honey, that's where jewelry comes from."
(laughs)
Guy listening, with horrified face: Wait a second, my mom has a s***load of jewelry. Oh, godd*** it, eewwwwwwwwwwwww!
Girl: I'm never going to look at your mom the same way ever again.
-- Arthur Avenue

Or We Can See Some Nudity
Poetry slam emcee: Hi, everyone! Wow, what a great turnout...I think you're all Emma's friends. She's first, but we have a great line-up, so please don't leave. Stay!
Emma's friend, sotto voce: Dude, it's a poetry reading, even Emma is leaving unless you give everyone another drink ticket.
-- Grand Street & Driggs, Brooklyn

Which Is Full Of Men I'd F***
Supposedly straight guy from Boston: Tom Brady is the best quarterback in the NFL.
Skinny Asian guy: I don't think he's the best, but he's pretty good.
Attractive, tall guy: He's no Joe Montana.
Supposedly straight guy from Boston: That's bulls***, he's the best ever, and you can't really argue that point. Just look at how many touchdowns he has.
Skinny Asian guy: Man, you are in love with him, it's a little scary.
Supposedly straight guy from Boston (completely serious): I am, I would totally let him f*** me if he would let me hang out with him...I would be the man.
Skinny Asian guy: I thought you were straight?
Supposedly straight guy from Boston: F*** you! I am straight but that doesn't mean I can't bang Tom Brady. I wouldn't give him oral though, I don't think.
Overweight Hispanic guy drinking appletini: Football sucks compared to soccer.
-- 45th & Madison

Sure Hope Carlos Likes Kool-Aid
Black guy: D***! You got a pretty face!
(pretty Latina turns around and ignores him)
Black guy (taking seat halfway down train): Dang! How you going to turn around on me like that?
(pretty Latina ignores him)
Black guy (very loudly): How are you going to turn around like that?
(pretty Latina now looks embarrassed)
Black guy (pulling out guitar from case): This song goes out to the girl with the pretty face! She's over there! With the long hair and the boots!
(people turn and look, pretty Latina looks very embarrassed now)
Black guy (singing to tune of "My Girl"): Come on everyone! Even the white people--join in! (sings) I've got sunshine, on a cloudy day. When it's cold outside, I've got the month of may.
(people start to join in, pretty Latina's friends are cheering and singing)
Black guy (singing): My girl! She's got black boots! The one with the long hair! C'mon girl! If you let me take you home...I'll...I'll...make you some Kool-Aid!
(pretty Latina gets off train)
Black guy: Ah, hell no! (pause). Alright, this one's for the guy with the ball! (pointing to guy with soccer ball under arm) His name's Carlos! He's from Puerto Rico!
-- 2 Train

Wouldn't That Be Statuary Rape?
Guy, looking at Greek marble sculptures: Hey, did you ever notice that a lot of these guys are missing their penises?
Girl: I think that has to do with early Christian sanctions on pagan idols.
Guy: Oh. (pauses) I thought someone out there just had a really big dildo collection.
-- The Met

And Then I Was Like, "Now What?"
Construction worker with Long Island accent: Man, I finally found Waldo the other day.
Construction worker #2: Yeah?
Construction worker with Long Island accent: Tall, striped shirt, weird shoes. And I was like, "there's Waldo!"
-- 2 Train

Wednesday One-Liners Will Swallow for Diamonds
Girl on cell: No, you remember, I'm going to be a gold-digger! It's like a hooker, but smarter.
-- NYU Classroom
...and there are four more one liners...

fell in love with a boy I fell in love once and almost completely he's in love with the world and sometimes these feelings can be so misleading

So...I was bored and taking some quizzes online that had to do with dating...and this is what I "learned":

Are You Sabotaging Your Love Life? - Dream Date
Your social calendar should be booked solid. When it comes to dating, you know how important it is to go out, be seen and give off a positive attitude, all of which helps draw guys to you. Not to mention your confidence and take-action attitude, which not only attract men, but make you feel good too. And when you're on a date, you're careful to offer just enough information about yourself to keep him interested without spilling your life story (that can come later). Plus, you show plenty of interest in his life without acting like a love-struck groupie. But it's clear from your confident approach to dating that your life does not revolve around men. You know how important it is to spend time with friends and to pursue your own interests and hobbies. If attending a lecture by your favorite writer or taking your favorite exercise class just happens to result in your meeting a new man, all the better. No doubt, you do all this for your own happiness -- but it also makes you a better catch! How convenient.

Soo...if I'm such a "dream date," then why don't I have any dates? Apparently, I just knew the "right" answers...I don't know, I just answered whatever was the best option for me. But I kinda thought the silly quiz was a bit off in the result it gave me. ::shrugs::

And I "learned" this, too:

Who's Your Mr. Right?
.:. You scored 30%* - The Fun-Loving Fellow
Party on! Whether at a gathering with friends or in line at a movie, you pick out the most personable guy of the group, and it's easy to see why: You enjoy a good time and a good laugh and need someone who can appreciate these as much as you do. A man like this is great to have in your life because he can hold his own in any situation, and with anybody. The one downside is that he is not necessarily discerning. He may as easily chat up your three-year-old niece as his beautiful next-door neighbor. But don't let his flirting be his fatal flaw; instead, remember it's what drew you to him in the first place. But do keep in mind that his "playfulness" may make it tough for him to settle down.
.:. You scored 30%* - The Confident Chap
You definitely know what you want -- a guy who's sure of himself. It's this self-assuredness that has gotten him where he wants to be. Perhaps he's at the top of the corporate ladder, the president of his condo board or the most sought-after when his friends need advice. What you gain in a relationship with this guy is a companion who knows most of the answers and will make you feel safe and cared for. As great as this type of support can be, the reality is that your ideas and his won't always mesh. And once you tell him your take on a situation, he may argue with you and try to get you to see things his way. Don't let this get you down or make you stop thinking for yourself. As long as you don't let his strong personality overpower you or take away your independence, you and Mr. Confident can make quite a pair. After all, a difference in opinions makes any relationship more interesting.
.:. You scored 20%* - The Sensitive Guy
Isn't he sweet? You definitely go for the guy who has a serious case of feelings -- whether he wears them on his sleeve or not. Manners seem important to him, and to you. And it's a good bet your soul mate would as easily tune in to ballads on the radio as he would stage a protest against cruelty to animals. Tapping into his soft side, however, may not always be so easy. A guy who's clued in to his feelings may also be protective of them. So if you find yourself face-to-face with one of these sweeties, don't wait for him to make the first move. Let him know you want to get to know him better. Sensitive types think with their heart as well as their brain -- he'll get the hint.
.:. You scored 20%* - The Sporty Stud
In your arena, this guy is number one. You favor a man who likes football over one who brings flowers. Why? For starters, you're attracted to a competitive spirit and the drive to win. Not to mention, a guy who loves the game is probably pretty playful. Translated into a relationship, these qualities can be top-notch, although the same qualities that initially attract you may also drive you crazy. A competitive guy, for instance, may make a terrific athlete, but that same quality may also make him feel like he's in competition for your feelings -- with your friends, your family, your job and so on. Likewise, you may sometimes feel like you're in competition with his friends, athletic hobbies, etc. But remember, this type of man considers himself a team player, which means that in a relationship, you'll be able to count on him to be supportive, interested in your opinions and willing to work together to make the two of you a winning pair.
*may not add up to 100%

Umm...yeah...don't know if I'd take any of that seriously. But, whatev...

And then the other night, I was talking to my friend J and he told me that I need to find a "nice guy" because...well, honestly, I don't remember why. I kinda think it's because he wants to realize that he's there, and a nice guy, should I ever decide that I'd like to be more than friends. And even though I've tried being honest about it (that was my first approach) and tried saying that I'm just going to become a lesbian...he'll still occasionally hint at the possibility.

Seriously, though...nice guys are boring. I'm not attracted to the stereotypical nice guy and I never have been. But a nice guy who isn't boring, yeah, I could use one of those...but he's gotta be exciting, meaning have some of that "bad boy" something. That may explain why I keep dating the wrong people...I'm attracted the stereotypical bad boy. Oh, well...

And then last night, my friend C called me. I haven't talked to him in like two years, it was completely out of the blue!! (Honestly, this is the last time that I can remember hanging out with him) I missed him after he just kinda dropped off the planet, so to speak. We talked for a little bit...and I think that I might've accidentally agreed to go on a date - like an actual date, not a friend date - with him. But...yeah, I don't know. I mean, I wouldn't be all that opposed to it...but it wasn't something that I ever planned on doing either. He's just C. But he's back in MI, so I'm happy...he's done with his bachelor's (Alabama State University) and working on his master's (Eastern Michigan University).

But anyway...as far as I'm concerned, guys suck and I hate 'em all. Y'know, with the exception of the few that I'm friends with. Kinda why I'm in the frame of mind that I'm just going to give up on guys and date girls. But at the same time, I don't think my reasoning for doing that is very sound...so I would just end up hurting some girl. Just like if I date some guy, I'm just going to end up hurting him, or myself, since all I'd be doing with a guy is using him and then discarding him when I got bored. ::sigh:: I just need to figure me out (and I don't mean my sexuality, I already have that figured out)...stop being so bitter. But...actually, I think that I'm starting to get there...and it feels good - no, make that great - to be myself again. I didn't realize just how much of myself had been lost and buried...

dead leaves and the dirty ground when I know you're not around shiny tops and soda pops when I hear lips make a sound

Here's the weekly round-up...

.:. This is just very sad. The Oak Park police officer was being a good guy, and the kid has pretty much ruined his 16y/o life... I wonder how many people attended his funeral who didn't even know him...? I would feel weird doing that.
.:. That was a really awesome thing of Dwayne Wade to do for a family.
.:. Aww...how cute, even though they're twins, they'll each get their own special day!!
.:. Wow...don't know what I'd do if I found $10 grand in my box of cheesy crackers...
.:. Hooray for mp3 player lighting the way to safety!!
.:. I can agree with what this study found...although, being young, I'm usually not optimistic when something fails.
.:. Umm...a 5¢ tax bill and a 4¢ refund? Ridiculous... ::shakes head::
.:. My mommy works for this company...and she's sent me to this specific store to pick up stuff for inter(intra-[?])store transfers.
.:. This is a good thing to know...at least since there was the not-so-great statistic that I mentioned a few weeks ago (see: .:. Well, that's comforting.).
.:. Wow...just insane. Talk about needing some anger management. Shooting someone over talking in a movie theatre?
.:. Lol...plane hits cow on landing.
.:. Umm, yeah...not the brightest thief in the world, now is he?
.:. Okay, now...if I had a bullet in my head, there is no way that I'd go back to work!!
.:. Just plain weird...why live in an airport terminal?
.:. That's pretty cool...won the lottery from a ticket thrown in the trash.
.:. I'm sure winning the $10 million was bittersweet.
.:. Lol, this just amused me (it's not recent, but it's from a blog that was suggested for me on my Google Reader)...
.:. Again, just something that amused me, but not recent.

Since it's the new year...wanna know what your horoscope is predicting for the new year? Mine was kind of a joke...at least, that's what I thought. But it's still amusing to look.

And now for some amusement from Overheard in New York...

You Go, Roscoe!
Lady: Excuse me, do you know where the bathrooms are?
Father with toddler: Nope, sorry.
Lady: I thought people with kids always knew where the bathrooms were.
Father with toddler: Nah, I just let him pee in the grass.
-- Central Park

Should We Stop for Some Cocktails and Wait It Out?
Mom: S***, it's raining!
Four-year-old: F***!
-- Times Square

...You'll Be Proud to Throw Them Over Your Shoulder Like a Continental Soldier
Little girl to mother: Do your boobs hang low? Do they wobble to and fro? Can you tie them in a knot? Can you tie them in a bow?
Mother (under breath): You're laughing now, but one day...
-- 86th & York

How You Know Your Little Boy is Straight
Employee: I like your pink shirt.
Coworker's 9-year-old nephew: It's not pink; it's white with pink and green stripes.
Employee: So you like to wear pink?
Coworker's 9-year-old nephew: My shirt *isn't* pink! (now shouting) It's white with pink and green stripes and it takes a real man to wear pink!
-- Atlanta, Georgia

They'd Rule the World -- Oh, Wait
Teen boy #1: It's like a totally different part of the body.
Teen boy #2: Can you imagine if vaginas had brains?
-- Bedford Avenue, Brooklyn

Your Perspicaciousness Is Prodigious, You Desiccated Harridan
Teenage girl: Mom! You're being obsequious.
Hip mom: Oh. "Obsequious." Big word. Either you've started studying for the SATs or you're just pandering to your intellectual higher-ups. My guess is the latter.
-- 78th St & Broadway

In That Case, We Need to Talk About Pants
Embarrassed teenage son: Mom, cross your legs.
Obese mother: They are crossed.
Embarrassed teenage son: No, they're not. Cross them more.
Obese mother: If I cross my legs any more I'll get a blood clot.
-- G Train

Yeah, Accommodating Your Capricious Food Cravings Was Really Fun
Middle aged woman: And I smoked weed, like, ever day last summer.
Daughter: I'm shocked, mom.
Middle aged woman: Oh, so you thought I was fun naturally?
-- Central Park

This Just In: 4 Out Of 5 Dentists Recommend New Yorkers! (Click Here For More)
(Woman #1 is trying to exit Starbucks while pushing a stroller. Woman #2 comes to her rescue and keeps the door open)
Woman #1: You aren't from New York, are you?
Woman #2: No.
Woman #1: Because you're too sweet.
-- Starbucks, 114th St & Broadway

You Know the Deal. You Finish Last.
Woman blocking sidewalk for filming: Please wait two minutes. Just two minutes.
Woman barging through crowd: I didn't know this was a congregation area! (curses at woman blocking crowd)
Polite girl: Since the a**hole got through, can the nice people go through?
-- Bleecker St

From Complaining About the Discharge?
Patient: I think my boyfriend and I have contracted either gonorrhea or chlamydia.
Doctor: What makes you say that?
Patient: Well, he's having kind of a pussy discharge from his penis and a burning sensation when he urinates.
Doctor: And what symptoms have you been having?
Patient: Well, I've had a sore throat...
-- NYU Medical Center

The Day Monique Got Run Over
Elegantly dressed French lady, speaking to New York Bus Service representative: Excuse me, when does the bus arrive?
Overweight representative, screaming: The port authoritah bus come 'erry ha'f hour!
Elegantly dressed French lady (pausing and turning to French friend): Wow. And I thought my English sucked.
-- Terminal One, JFK

And Be Eaten by Hippies from Minnesota
Fire truck loudspeaker to tourists blocking entrance: Please clear the area unless you want to end up as roadkill.
-- WTC Site, Liberty Street

they don't know 'bout me & you so I got something new to see and you just gon' keep hatin' me and we just gon' be enemies

About three or four months ago, the ex left me a rather mean IM to say that he was just glad that I've never put his name anywhere on this blog. And then last night, he decided to leave me a pretty harsh comment that had both his first and last name on it (and also made it possible for anyone to contact him should they wish to). All I can say is, thank god for comment moderation. I originally enabled it to prevent spam comments, not because I expected to receive anything so negative I couldn't bear to have it on my blog. Before I'd started this, I had thought about posting the comment on here, but editing out his name...but I honestly don't want the negativity. It's not that I refuse to have both sides to the story viewed.

So, in an effort to be fair, I am going to give him the benefit of doubt, and say that what he put in his comment was true (at least, portions of his comment anyway). He claimed that he was alone on Monday night, his girlfriend was at home (supposedly, she's not that type of person...and I guess, that's good to know, at least he's dating a good person ::shrugs::), his friend was out with other friends and his friend's girlfriend was in Chicago. Okay, it's entirely possible that I jumped to conclusions when I saw him walking thisclose to two random girls...but what did he expect when he was walking so close to some strangers? Or when he's been so mean to me over the past few months, even when I leave him alone like he wants? But the rest of text in his comment is either just more mean-spirited words meant to berate me or half-truths/out-right lies.

He asked that I stop talking about him in my blog. So I decided to use the search option just to see how often I've mentioned him since our relationship ended...yeah, umm, the dumb search thing gave me 27 entries. Of those 27 entries, only 16 (there are two .5's since one is about a dream, and one is a repost of a 2005 post...and I don't think that actually counts, do you?) actually contained something about him. That's 16 entries out of 56 (or 28.57%) since the relationship ended. That makes him come across as a tad full of himself. I realize he was looking at this with an RSS feeder, so that means he probably only saw the most recent entries and yes, those were about how upset I got when I saw him. But that's two entries out of a total of 392 posted entries. Pretty miniscule if you ask me.

And, also, he asked that I "stop slandering [him] in [my] blog." Well...seeing how slander is technically the spoken word and everything on here is the written word (libel)...I've never slandered him. But, also, both require malicious intent...and I don't have that. In my [private, unpublished] thoughts, definitely, but in what I put on here, absolutely not. I don't want to make myself look like an idiot by stooping to a childish level. Also, since the first couple lines of the comment pretty much blamed me for his failure to remove my blog from his RSS feed, I'm no longer supposed to put anything on here about how I feel because my feelings are proof of how "crazy and paranoid" I am. Umm...okay...you're the one who keeps contacting me out of the blue to do something that you know is going to upset me...so why am I the bad guy?

::sigh:: Okay...now that I've wasted far too much time on something and someone who I should not have...I'm moving on to something much more positive...

This morning, my daddy woke me up with a phone call to see if I could pick him up from his therapy (he still has those from his accident back in September, but he's improving a lot!! I'm so proud of him!!). After picking him up, we met a few of my dad's friends for lunch. Let me just say, I heart my daddy's friends. The two single ones were asking me about if I had a man in my life (I doubt that the one who even brought it up to begin with had any ulterior motives, he's just that kind of caring guy, kinda like an older brother) and they said that since I'd been accused of cheating, I should've just gone ahead and done it. I just laughed that off. And tomorrow, I may be driving my daddy over to the married one's house for a party...which I was invited to. I've been invited to those parties before...well, kinda sorta anyway. They're just excuses to drink and watch some sporting event...but that's what the married couple says anyway, they never try to disguise it as anything more fancy/dignified than that!!