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As of February 23, 2012, I have a very sweet, very cute little boy. Baby PGS is my world now.

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Wednesday, May 30, 2007

cuz I wanna have a bit of true love don’t ever wanna have to go and give you up stay up 'til 4 in the morning and the tears are pouring

Today, an envelope from my school came for me...it was a 'Dean's List' letter. Not to be conceited, but...duh. If I managed to work my butt off to receive straight As, it just makes sense that I would make the Dean's List. Okay, my conceited moment is over.

Anyway...I'm sleepy...like majorly...I've been up since about 6:15a. I just love how I instinctively wake up at least 15 minutes before my alarm...it's such a wonderful thing. Or not.

I think I'm going to go get something to eat now...no idea what...

[originally posted on my MySpace blog]

Thursday, May 24, 2007

close my eyes just for tonight the sun still sleeps and when she wakes close my eyes just for tonight the sun still sleeps and when she wakes

You know what sucks? Getting up at 6:30a. Do you know what sucks even more? Waking up about 40 minutes before the alarm even goes off and not really being able to fall back to sleep because of fear that the alarm will be slept through, resulting in tardiness for event. So...what does all of that babbling mean? It means that I've been awake (more or less) since about 5:50a. It's seriously bedtime now. Sadly, it isn't even 8:00p yet.

Also, next Wednesday is going to be a long day. I'll have to get up at 6:30a then, too...and then watch a 10 month old baby girl for about eight hours. It's a good thing that she's adorable and pretty well-behaved.

Assuming all goes as planned...I get to go see Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End Saturday night. Pirates are fun...as long as they look like Johnny Depp or Orlando Bloom. I don't really care if that is a ridiculously girly sentiment. And then next weekend there is a birthday party to attend, according to the boy. Then the following weekend...there is a party Friday night and a party Sunday afternoon.

All right...I'm done rambling on now...

[originally posted on my MySpace blog]

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

a little something just to take off the edge a little more and I'll fall off the planet entirely

So...hooray for me! Why? Because I got a 4.0 this semester!! Woo! woo! all A's for me!

Plus, I managed to get at least a part-time job...which is way better than nothing at all. So...for the time being, I take care of a 10 month old 2-3 mornings a week...at least, she's a cute baby.

And I'm feeling pretty d*** whiny today because I have a completely stuffed up nasal cavity, a sore throat from my nasal cavity draining down the back of my throat and my jaw is in some major pain. Well...it was earlier, it's feeling like some dull, barely there pain now. But that doesn't change the fact that I'm in some fun, girly pain also. And for a boring day at home...I look pretty-ful since I have fun unbraided hair today... Okay...I'm done rambling at people... Ciao, darlin'!!

Thursday, May 3, 2007

I'm gonna make you bend and break, say a prayer, but let the good times roll, in case god doesn't show

this is what happens when I am bored...

What type of partier are you?
Your Result: The Socialite
 

You like only the best liquors, the latest trendy martini's, or the finest single-malt scotch. You are not one for the 'dive bar', you prefer classy lounges filled with model-quality people. When intoxicated, you flirt, but are coy and unattainable, you make your suitors WORK for it.

Bar Social Butterfly
 
The Lurker
 
Bar Slut
 
The rock-star party animal
 
The designated driver
 
Hardcore drunk
 
What type of partier are you?
Quiz Created on GoToQuiz


What Be Your Nerd Type?
Your Result: Science/Math Nerd
 

(Absolute Insane Laughter as you pour toxic chemicals into a foaming tub of death!)

Well, maybe you aren't this extreme, but you're in league with the crazy scientists/mathmeticians of today. Very few people have the talent of math and science is something takes a lot of brains as well. Thank whosever God you worship, or don't worship, so thank no deity whatsoever in your case, for you people! Most of us would have died off without your help.

Literature Nerd
 
Social Nerd
 
Drama Nerd
 
Gamer/Computer Nerd
 
Artistic Nerd
 
Musician
 
Anime Nerd
 
What Be Your Nerd Type?
Quiz Created on GoToQuiz


What's Your Best Quality?
Your Result: Intelligence
 

Your best quality is intelligence! People like you because you are smart and always make the right decision. Your intelligence also helps you handle tough situations.

Loving
 
Out-Going
 
Personality
 
Ambitious
 
Sense of Humor
 
What's Your Best Quality?
Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

Saturday, April 28, 2007

believe me when I say it gets better every day once you get used to the pain

It sucks that aside from a few good days that are getting increasingly farther apart, I want to give him back those stupid rings every day...ha, I should probably just press the 'backspace' key...but I don't feel like it...I want him to see that I'm still thinking that...and that yesterday was probably the only day this week that I didn't think that.

so don’t bother I won’t die of deception I promise you won’t ever see me cry don’t feel sorry and don't bother I’ll be fine

Ugh...why does someone say that they want to do something and then later call and say, 'oh, sorry, I forgot what I said to you earlier, and by the way I'm going to expect you drop everything and see me later when I call you again, okay?' Okay...so those aren't the exact words...but they're the words that can be inferred from what was actually said. It's not the cancelling of informal plans that annoys me...it's the way they act all hurt and whatever when I get mad for the call later in the night. ::sigh:: Oh well, whatever...I'm done ranting...

[originally posted on my MySpace blog]

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

you know I sure wouldn't want to ruin all your chances on your one night stand romances doing tequila shots I always loved you but it was never enough

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/18310636/?GT1=9246

I can't get the stupid link thingy to work...but copy that and check it out...it's craziness...

School is almost over...woohoo!! And...I'm awesome...cuz I got a 100% on my test this morning... Normally, I don't do well on my stupid lab exams...so it's a good thing.

Ew...it's not even 10:30p...and already I want to go to bed...

[originally posted on my MySpace blog]

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

I don't mind you telling me what's been on your mind lately I don't mind you speaking up

Today in lab, we used reproductive models... Which just means that my lab partner and I were totally immature...and referred to anatomical parts in the same way that a fourth grader does... But I also had a test this morning...and I so totally feel like I aced it...woohoo!! I had two hours to take the test...but was done in about 20, 25 minutes...so by the time I turned the test (and materials in), I was out of the room by 9:30...and had 1.5 hours until lab would start... And not one of us waiting for lab to begin did anything productive...we talked and gossiped...

My little brother is awesome...he made me lunch!! I have a bunch of homework to do for psych...but as usual I so do not feel like doing it... Oh, well...I'll get it done on time...I always do... So...umm...I'm slightly obsessed with Hilary Duff's recent single "With Love"...I like that song...it's catchy...someone should totally get it for me... Ugh...it's snowing again...and I need to go out to do something... Stupid global warming. Okay...I'm done complaining and rambling now...

Saturday, March 24, 2007

don't be scared to fly alone, find a path that is your own

Oh...em...gee...little brothers are annoying...they have a friend spending the night...and the three boys are loud, obnoxious and annoying...typical pre-adolescent boys...grr...oh, well, I can't do anything about it...other than complain... I have to start on my psych term paper soon...it's due in less than two weeks!! It won't be that hard to write, at least not once I start it anyway. Plus...this weekend, I need to study for my A&PII test on Monday...I know the material...so it's more of needing to review than needing to study. I just don't want to do it. Plus...it's not all that easy to study and whatever when there are three 10 and 11 year old boys making excessive amounts of noise... ::sigh:: They're so very strange, too... My head kind of hurts...so I think that I'm going to go lay down for a little bit...or at least get out of the living room where the tv volume is at about 60...and I think that's only out of 100. Ugh...I really don't like children... ::sigh:: I'm bored...

Thursday, March 22, 2007

I won't be held down by who I used to be she's nothing to me

I'm so ridiculously stressed out lately...and I don't really know why... The only that I know for sure is that it's seriously starting to affect my life in a bad way... I'm always moody lately....as in drastic changes in mood for no apparent reason. ::sigh:: I'm assuming the stress and mood swings are related to all of the stress I feel at home and school... Plus, last night was just annoying per usual...it just bugs me a lot that my stepdad feels the need to lock the doors and make sure all the lights are turned off when I get home. I was only in class for two hours...I left about an hour before class to eat and socialize with one of my friends, and then I was home about 10 minutes after class ended...so about 10:10p... ::sigh:: And then for some reason today he's ignoring my existence...I have no idea what I did to piss him off. I'm just so confused. It's no wonder I feel so f***ing unwanted here. Oh, yeah, I went downstairs to get some dinner...and it's all gone already...basically he made dinner for him and my two brothers and made sure that there wouldn't be any food left over... And then after the 11 y/o brother's band concert, they stopped to pick up pizza...and of course, nobody bothered to tell me there was pizza or even to say, "hey, there's some pizza in the kitchen, you're welcome to have some if you want." Gee, thanks... ::sigh:: I just need to learn to let it go and not let it bother me...at least that's what I keep getting told. ::sigh:: Too bad it all doesn't feel like it's worth it...not lately anyway...

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

I'm teachin' myself to dream I'm holding' my breath to scream I'm teachin' myself to believe in the things I don't understand

So...I've come to a conclusion about something kinda important...and I really don't care for the conclusion...it kinda sucks. And I was supposed to go over and see the boy after class...but instead I came home. It's not like seeing him yesterday went all that well...I had a headache and was being moody as usual...and since it didn't sound like he wanted me to come over when I talked him, I just went home. Figured I might as well get my psychology homework finished.

Okay...nevermind...he just called to find out if I was going to come over...so...ciao!!

[originally posted on my MySpace blog]

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

to let go of my pain to hell with my pride let it fall like rain from my eyes tonight I wanna cry

I feel like just crying and crying...and I don't really know why... Plus, I need to watch a movie for my Spanish class...but it's at the boy's house...

we share the sadness the split screen sadness we share the sadness split screen sadness

Who wants to wrap their arms around me and tell me that it's okay? Because I seriously feel terrible right now...

[originally posted on my MySpace blog]

Monday, March 19, 2007

and I wish I could free you of the hurt and the pain

Blah-di-blah-di-blah-blah...anyway...the boy is having a tonsillectomy and an adenoidectomy today...he's kind of worried about it...but there really isn't anything that he has to worry about...it's almost (almost only because medical procedures canNOT be guaranteed) guaranteed to go well...okay...well that was it...ciao!!

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

crazy..I'm crazy for feeling so lonely I'm crazy crazy for feeling so blue I knew you'd love me as long as you wanted

Blah...I so do not feel like doing my homework... But...hooray for not having to go to school tomorrow night!! We're watching Maria Full of Grace...so if we rent the movie and watch it on our own, then we don't have to go to class and it won't be counted against us.

[originally posted on my MySpace blog]

Thursday, March 8, 2007

can't you see this is the land of confusion

So...I was looking for some decent lyrics about intolerance to use as a title for the post about homophobia...and I got really confused by the relatively decent lyrics in two Dying Fetus songs that were results for a lyrics search on "intolerance." All I know about them is that they have a terrible name, they're a metal band and my fiancé likes them...so that was enough for me to never ever listen to them willingly. Well...that was it...I'm going to go back to making cookies... Ciao!!!

terror, innocent life destroyed by cowards, committing crimes, injustice

.:. I am the boy who never finished high school, because I got called a "fag" everyday.
.:. I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
.:. I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
.:. I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
.:. We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
.:. I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
.:. I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
.:. I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
.:. We are the couple who had the Realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
.:. I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
.:. I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an "unfit mother" because I now live with another woman.
.:. I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
.:. I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
.:. I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
.:. I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
.:. I am the woman who died when the EMTs stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
.:. I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didn't have to always deal with society hating me.
.:. I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
.:. I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.
.:. I am the person ashamed to tell my own friends I'm a lesbian, because they constantly make fun of them.
.:. I am the boy tied to a fence, beaten to a bloody pulp and left to die because two straight men wanted to "teach me a lesson."

---IF YOU BELIEVE THAT HOMOPHOBIA IS WRONG ... REPOST THIS
---IF YOU ARE IGNORANT... IGNORE THIS

Friday, February 23, 2007

I hate everything about you why do I love you I hate everything about you why do I love you

Well...today was the final day of my self-defense class...and I got my butt kicked. But I managed to kick the guy-in-a-padded-suit's butt, too. Hooray for next week being break. Although, I have no idea what I'm going to do next week since my schedule is w i d e open.

Something really bugs me about people...especially the people that I have to deal with on a daily basis... But the thing that's bugging me the most lately isn't something external...it's just me and the stupid, messed up stuff in my head. I don't just take things at face value...I read too much into everything lately. And it's really screwing with me. Mostly just cuz I feel really unwanted and like a burden. That's not the best way to feel.

Ugh...Camp Lazlo sounds a lot like Rocko's Modern Life...and I don't like either cartoon at all. My youngest brother has the tv on and that's what on Cartoon Network right now.

I'm hungry...but there's nothing to eat in my house...and I have no disposable money for food. I mean, there is food in the house, but it's the same things that I already ate for breakfast and lunch today. And I don't want to eat the same meal, three times in one day. Plus...I'm annoyed because I fell asleep earlier (when I didn't want to) and now that I want to just go to bed and wake up...I don't know, Monday...I can't because I'm pretty awake thanks to my unwanted nap.

[originally posted on my MySpace blog]