I'm in the business of misery let's take it from the top she's got a body like an hourglass that's tickin' like a clock

Well...it's been a week since school started...and I've been to all of my classes now... I already had my Spanish teacher before, so I knew what to expect and I like him. He's a pretty good teacher. Not so sure about my psych teacher yet...she's really kinda out there. I mean, c'mon, the first thing she had us do in class was make masks...it's a psychology class, not an art class. But...I'll give her a few more weeks before I decide if I like her or not. My anthropology teacher seems pretty cool...so far I like her. My history teacher seems pretty cool so far, too.

I figured it was time to update my "About me" section...but the old one is still pretty true and I didn't know if I should get rid of it or not...so I just copied it here:

Hmmm...what to say...I am me. Whether that's unique or not...I really don't know. I am definitely much too narcissistic for my own good, but...oh, well. Deal with it. I'm really friendly, but I tend to come across as stuck-up. It's just that I can be shy around people until I am comfortable with them. After I become comfortable around a person, I don't shut up.

My goal in life is to become an ER physician...I decided that at age nine. I'm determined to achieve my goals, sometimes that gets misconstrued as stubborn. I'm that also, and independent and intelligent. I'm also naive and jaded, cynical and optimistic...just a walking contradiction. I am a science nerd...I'm comfortable being that.

And I have one of the shortest attention spans...ADD much?

[originally posted on my MySpace blog]

don't get it twisted don't get clever this is the most craziest sh** ever

The following amuse me...

Like Tell It about My Wife and Kids
Boyfriend, looking at body pillow: Aw, man! I should totally get this!
Girlfriend: Why would you get that? We're moving in together in like a year. We'll be sharing a bed with each other.
Boyfriend: Yeah, but I can do things to this pillow that I can't do to you!
-- Target, Queens Center Mall

Wanna See?
Blood center rep: Ma'am, would you like to donate blood today and save a life?
Woman: No, I'm donating into my maxi-pad as we speak.
Blood center rep: Ewww.
-- 96th St & CPW

both are from...Overheard in New York...

Yeah...I'm busy procrastinating...I really don't feel like doing my homework...it's so much reading!! I'll probably get it done later...like after I finish eating and folding that laundry over there in the corner... I don't know...I know that I have to get it done soon. Grr... I need to come up with a personal growth project for my psych class...but I have no clue what I want to work on. I don't like my teacher too much...she's quite weird...too soft-spoken and flighty. Whatever...I'm done eating now...it's time to leave the computer... Arrivederci!

I'm in the business of misery, let's take it from the top

Grr...I had maybe five hours of sleep last night...possibly four... Do you know what time I went to bed? 1:00a...do you know how long it takes me to fall asleep on average? Approximately an hour...do you know what time I was startled awake? About 4:30a...do you know what time I fell back to sleep? Around 7:00-ish...only to be woken up again by the sounds of my mom and youngest brother getting ready for work and school, respectively, around 8:00a. I finally went back to sleep around 9:00a only to be woken up by my internal alarm clock (read: I couldn't breathe anymore cuz my allergy medicine had worn off) around a quarter to 11:00a. I'm too tired to do the math on the amount sleep I got...all I know is that it was very broken and I'm still tired.

::sigh:: I wanted to shoot my stepfather this morning. It was his stupid alarm going off that startled me awake. I woke up to my room filled with music...it was so loud that I thought it was my mom's alarm, that's why it startled me. I was worried that they (meaning my mom and my younger brother in his room) were sleeping through it and my 11 y/o brother was going to miss his bus. Yeah...it was just the alarm clock in the basement...and it was 4:29a... What pissed me off the most was that my stepdad didn't even bother to go back downstairs and turn it off before he left the house for work...I was trying to ignore the damn music filling up my room and go back to sleep, and then I heard him start up his car and leave! So I turned on my bedroom light before his car was gone...it was with the hopes that he saw my bedroom light on and thought, 'did my loud alarm wake her up?'...and then went downstairs to shut off the stupid, noisy thing. I couldn't figure out how to reset the alarm for the next day...so I just turned off his alarm completely. Ha...hopefully, I don't forget to tell him about that...otherwise he'll be late for work tomorrow. Big, fat poopyhead.

Ugh...and I have a bunch of homework to get done today, too... I still don't know what I want to present on in my psych class...I hate having to do a presentation in front of the class. Grr... I'm excessively crabby today... Oh, man...and I have a PTK meeting this evening... ::sigh:: I just want to go back to bed until Saturday...oh, wait...I have something Saturday morning at 10:30a...

who knows what could happen do what you do just keep on laughing

Grr...so...Sprint sent new phones, and so far we've had the new phones since Thursday and they're as of yet unusable... Makes a lot of sense doesn't it...??? I called the 800 number yesterday...that was a waste of time...and as far as I can tell, the call today from my mother was just as wasteful... I don't understand why they would send new phones, but make it so very hard to make them usable. It's quite frustrating. Especially since I didn't even get to pick out my new phone. I hate the color red and now I have a red phone. Oh well...it's a pretty small phone...and it does all the things a phone is required to do, such as send/receive phone calls...I shouldn't complain. Right? If only the phone was usable!! Plus...I'm not understanding how my phone line was in the process of being activated yesterday...my phone line is already activated, my number just needs to be transferred from the old phone to the new phone. The customer service guy I talked to didn't answer that for me...he avoided answering by saying, "if you have any more problems, call again tomorrow." Umm...okay...thanks for being so very helpful... ::sigh:: I'm just frustrated. Nothing feels like it's been going my way lately and I've just been highly stressed out. It's a great feeling. It really is. Try it out sometime...I'm sure the resulting myocardial infarction is worth it. Really...it is... All right...well...I have a headache...so I'm going to go lie down for a while...ciao!!

I've been to the year 3000 not much has changed but they lived underwater and your great-great-great grandaughter is doing fine (doing fine)

I don't wanna go back to school...it's boring!! I'd rather do something fun...like what, I don't know. I just know that I'd rather be doing something fun than be going to school. Sometime before 5:00p...I should probably go to Blockbuster and get Call of Duty for the Wii for the boy since I told him that I would do that for him. He wants to play that instead of doing some other productive thing while I'm in class. Oh well...can't say that I blame him... I'd rather play than be in class, too. Well...not that game, not even really video games, but still...just play in the broader sense of the word. Okay...I'm done rambling. I'm gonna go be a little bit more productive...like, get dressed and all that fun stuff. Because, y'know...getting ready for the day before 2:30 in the afternoon is soo overrated...and then I'm off to get the video game for my fiancé!! Au revoir, le chéri!!

it's time to be a big girl now and big girls don't cry

::sigh:: I stress way too easily anymore... But on the bright side...I should be getting my history textbook for 99¢ plus $4.80 S&H...that's better than the $29.95 plus tax I had to pay through the school bookstore... And I'm getting my psych book for a savings of $23.21 off the bookstore price...hoorays... Now...I'll just have to make a trip back to the stupid bookstore to return my books...can't wait for that... ::sigh:: I seriously hate our DSL thingy...the internet connection is continuously lost at inconsistent time intervals...it's the most annoying thing ever!! It makes doing things on the internet frustrating. Stress and frustration are a terrible combination. ::sigh:: I hate uncertainty. I hate it more than anything. Now...if only my job search was going a little better...as in a whole lot better!! ::sigh:: Oh well... My psych book should be here within 2-3 days...at least that's according to the USPS website...and my history book could be here in a week. Hopefully I don't need to do anything with the book that I don't have yet because I won't be able to return the history book if I remove the plastic wrap.

My younger brothers are both playing video games...they're so freakin' annoying when they play video games! The 11 y/o hops around like he's on speed and the 10 y/o rants like some crazy hobo... I hate listening to them. You'd think after years of being around them I'd be better at tuning them out...but it's hard to do when the 11 y/o causes the floor to shake with his spastic bouncing.

when you're gone the pieces of my heart are missing you

Things aren't as bad as I thought that they were...everything is going to be okay...

oh, I'm sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn't do and I've hurt myself by hurting you

::sigh:: I made a huge mistake today... Instead of thinking it through, I just hastily blurted out thoughts...in the process effectively issuing a big 'f*** you' to the person the thoughts were directed at. I really didn't mean to be so hurtful...I just wanted to be heard for once. I was heard all right...but at what expense? ::sigh:: I pretty much spent the entire day in bed, crying. I did a wonderful job of hurting myself today. Plus, I stressed myself out to the point that I can't really eat. The only reason that I ate dinner is because if I hadn't eaten, it would've caused my mom to ask me questions and then she might have forced me to eat. So I had to eat...but I gave most of the fries to my 11 y/o brother. I figure, I ate one meal today, that's good enough. Right?

I’m not fine I’m in pain it’s harder everyday maybe we’re better off this way? it’s better that we break...

Hooray for giving up!!! Yep yep yep...even though you told me that I should quit pretending and stop living my life for other people...I'm going to continue to do what's worked oh-so-well in the past for me. Trying to do the right thing isn't going to work out. It really isn't...I just don't care enough for it to. So...sorry...except that I'm not really. I mean, I am because I know you'll be upset, but I'm not sorry because it's so much easier. Giving up is the easier thing to do. Trying to control it isn't working for me anymore, I can't do it. It's too hard and too much work. It's causing me too much stress. Pretending is easier and it always will be...happier isn't necessary. Sorry, it just isn't.

P.S. sorry to anyone that wasted time trying understand this...

[originally posted on my MySpace blog]

my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard and they're like it's better than yours damn right it's better than yours

heehee...this amused me...

Your Boobies' Names Are...

Milk Shakes

Boobie Name Generator

I still don’t have the reason and you don’t have the time and it really makes me wonder if I ever gave a f*** about you

today is a bored day...
1.

You Would Pick Your Boyfriend Again!

While the initial new couple spark has faded for you two, you've built upon your attraction - and formed a deep love. And although things are never perfect, they're usually pretty great. So don't let your eye wander. You've got the best catch for you, at home.

Would You Pick Him Again?

2.

Both of You Wear the Pants

You and your guy seem to have stuck the perfect power balance. It's not that you don't disagree - it's just that you've learned how to compromise well. You're both mature enough to know that you can't always get your way... And usually, you're both adult enough to reach an agreement - even if that sometimes means giving in a little.

Who Wears the Pants... You or Your Guy?

3.

Break Up? Are You Kidding?

You're relationship is top notch, period! Why are you even taking this quiz? :-) Maybe you know you've got a good thing going. Or maybe you're a little shaky from a fight. Either way, stick with this guy!

Should You Break Up With Him?

4.

Your Relationship Will Last...A Long Time!

Your guy is ideal, as close to Mr. Perfect as he could be. If you took this quiz, you may be doubting that...don't! No guy is perfect but yours comes really close. You guys will last for many years, as long as you appreciate him!

How Long Will Your Relationship With Your Guy Last?

5.

Your Relationship is Strong

You've built the foundation of a great relationship, and it would take a lot to shake it. Through good communication and respect, you have a true love that can last a lifetime.

How Strong Is Your Relationship With Your Guy?

6.

Your Love Song Is

Your Body Is a Wonderland by John Mayer "One mile to every inch of Your skin like porcelain One pair of candy lips and Your bubblegum tongue" Why go out... when so much fun can be had indoors?

What Love Song Are You?

7.

You Are 87% Ready for Marriage

This doesn't mean you should rush out and get married... But if you did tie the knot, it would probably work out great!

Are You Ready for Marriage?

8.

Your Celebrity Boob Twin:

Scharlett Johansson

Who's Your Celebrity Boob Twin?

9.

You Are a Sleek Black Bra!

Subtle, sophisticated, and classy. You're not the first woman a man notices in the room... But you're the one he remembers a week later. You need a guy who will make a lasting impression on you too!

What Kind of Bra Are You?

Hooray for boredom!!

when you're gone the pieces of my heart are missing you when you're gone the face I came to know is missing too

::sigh:: I have no idea what to do right now...I know what I want to do...but I don't know what to do... ::sigh:: I'm seriously considering making some drastic changes...just because I'm sick of trying anymore... Nothing works...but to be perfectly honest, I don't think that I've really been trying all that well to fix things anyway... I wish that I still cared...but I just don't anymore... I'm sorry...I really am.

[originally posted on my MySpace blog]

in a car underwater with time to kill, thinking back I forgot to tell you this

Yesterday, I registered for my fall classes...yays... I'm taking:

• Myth, Magic & Folk Religion
• Spanish III
• Michigan History
• Psychology of Adjustment

Nothing too exciting, just a bunch of filler classes basically... Since all I really need now is to take electives to fill up the requirements to get my associates degree. Which seems to be taking forever. I feel as though I am never going to get where I want to be in my life. I know that isn't true, but it just feels like that. Grrr... Okay...I'm done ranting on about school. I don't have to go back until 8:00p on Thursday, August 30. Oh, joy...

you knew exactly what you would do and don't say you simply lost your way she may believe you but I never will never again

Blah...blah...blah...it's only 1:00p...but I feel like it's 10:00p... I went with my mom to pick up my brother from Gladwin this morning. I have no idea why I needed to be woken up at 3:30 in the effen morning...it's not like I needed to impress anyone in Hicksville...seriously, I could have been woken up about 10 minutes before we had to leave. That would have given me enough time to get dressed and put my hair in a ponytail. My only two requirements before leaving. Instead I was up for the whole freakin' 40-45 minutes it took my mom to get ready to go get him. For some reason, she believes that she needs to look alive when driving at that asinine hour. Me? I'm perfectly fine with looking like a zombie who just rolled out of bed. So...yeah...I haven't really been able to take a nap either. I tried...it didn't work out so well... All right...I guess I'm done rambling...

[originally posted on my MySpace blog]

wake up call caught you in the morning with another one in my bed don't you care about me anymore? don’t you care about me? I don't think so

Blah-di-blah-di-blah-blah... I'm in a happy mood, and I'm not a hundred percent sure why...not that I'm complaining or anthing... Plus...I'm all hyper and spastic...but that's not really a good thing...it just kinda makes me a brat... I just become a big annoyance and drive people insane...

Okay...all done...I guess anyway...I got bored...


[originally posted on my MySpace blog]

one night yeah and one more time thanks for the memories thanks for the memories "See, he tastes like you only sweeter."

I hate AT&T. Just thought that I'd share that little tidbit with the world. Or at least the world that has the ability to access my myspace blogs. Our stupid Internet connection is "lost" about every 45 to 60 minutes or so. It's the most annoying thing in the world. And according to the guy on the phone my mom talked to yesterday afternoon, it's EMI...so the modem thingy needs to be kept in a room all by its lonesome. At least, that's my frustrated solution. Oh, yeah...part of the phone plan my parents pay for stipulates no payments for having techs come out to your home to fix things, and the guy on the phone said that if she wanted to pay for it, my mom could have a tech come out and look at it for us.

Oh, and yesterday...I was about ready to murder an infant. She would NOT quit crying. But...hooray for being able to hand her off to her parents. ::sigh::

[originally posted on my MySpace blog]

everyday with every worthless word we get more far away the distance between us makes it so hard to stay but nothing lasts forever but be honest babe

My head hurts...and it's hurt pretty much every day since Wednesday...so that means nearly a week straight of continuous headaches... Someone shoot me now. Actually, y'know what? That's a bad idea, I don't want someone to shoot me. I just want my misery to go away. I have a stuffy nose, too. My head hurts, I can't breathe, my lower abdomen hurts and my lower back hurts. Hooray for me! I'm one big complaint. Okay, I'm done being whiny. At least that's what I'm going to keep telling myself because otherwise I'm going to annoy the hell out of myself (as well as everyone around me) with my incessant whining.

And...eww...it smells like rotten ears of corn in my fridge...but we don't have any...nor do we have any fresh vegetables...so nobody knows what is causing the gross smell... Okay...well, that little rant was because my two youngest brothers were just looking in the fridge for something to take to their baseball game for hydration.

[originally posted on my MySpace blog]

it's time to be a big girl now and big girls don't cry don't cry don't cry don't cry

::sigh:: thoroughly confused...

[originally posted on my MySpace blog]

and I don't want to fall to pieces I just want to sit and stare at you I don't want to talk about it

::sigh:: Why is everything not how I want it? And why do I complicate things all the time? Okay, well, not so much complicate them as much as over-analyze and stress myself out. I'm just getting easily annoyed by everything again. That's totally not healthy.

::sigh:: And tomorrow I have a doctor's appointment...I hate going to the doctor's more than anything. Pretty much just because I'm convinced that I have brain cancer. Nevermind the fact that I have absolutely no evidence to support my ridiculous claim. But...on the bright side, I get to see the doctor that likes to hand out scrips like candy...

::sigh:: I just need to get my reactions under control...if not for me, then at least for the people around me that have to deal with my incessant moodiness and whatever else choice words they're using to describe me...

fly away from here anywhere yeah I don't care we'll just fly away from here our hopes and dreams are out there somewhere won't let time pass us by

I'm not really sure about what to do about something... ::sigh:: I want to do the something...but I don't know what to do... I'm always so worried about making the "right" decisions in my life, that I'm afraid that I'm screwing myself by always trying to make the "right" decision. Ugh...I wish that I knew what to do...and was willing to do the thing that will make me happy without having to worry about it being the "right" decision or not... ::sigh::

[originally posted on my MySpace blog]